Nicholas O'Brien

Personal Development Questions to really know where you stand.

Harsh truth incoming.
If you don't think you can do something you'll probably fail.

I said it and I meant it.

Your mindset is wrong and that will actually stop you from succeeding.

It's the difference between a fixed and growth mindset - that's it.
It doesn't matter what the activity is. It could be going into a job interview, learning a new skill like coding or baking or construction or playing pickleball.

Doesn't matter.

If you go into the activity with the mindset I'm not good at that, you won’t succeed.

Like I'm not good at sports or I'm not good at cooking or I'm not good at interviews and talking to people.
Your performance will suffer based on directly how you phrased it to yourself.

If you go into the same activity with a mindset I'm going to do this, I can get better at it and eventually I'll be good at it.

That right there will help you perform better (even on the first try) for a fact.

You got to go into it with just the thought process of. I'm going to do my best at this and hopefully it turns out good.

No matter how it turns out, even if it is terrible on the first try (which it may), you will have started off better just by having the mindset that you're going to give it your best and try to improve.
(You probably already gave up if you went into thinking you aren't good - you validated your own thought process that it is hard and you aren't good enough)

The second time you do it with the same growth mindset.

You know what happened on the first try. You know some things to improve on and you're going to do it again and again and again and you'll continue to improve on it.

It doesn't matter that it's difficult.

That doesn't mean you're not good.

Even champion athletes and CEOs of mega corporations and brilliant scientists all have difficulties everyday with what they're working on.

That's the point.

The difficulty and fighting through it, that's what's makes you get better.

People with growth mindsets will come back for round two and round three and continue to grow.

I want you to think about it like your Tom Brady on his first day of JV, you got a while to go but you can be a champion too.

Or you could think of me we, who dropped out of college

Not proud to say it, but I took straight 'F's. Owch - true story.

I didn't think I could do it and didn't go back (for nearly 10 years!) until I had a different mindset about it.

Same school, same degree program, different mindset. That was all that changed.

Still hard and me fighting through it

Showing up and putting in the work.

Suddenly things started getting better.

I was getting scholarships, being asked to mentor other students and being requested to be a speaker at events by the dean.

I didn't even know it at the time... But it's all mindset.

"I have to figure this out"

instead of

"this is too hard, I don't want to do this"

was all the difference

Follow me if you want to learn more about how I have continued to change my mindset with iterative micro improvements.

I avoid this kind of things,

but this time was different.

There is a bit of a Viral Trend going on right now and I was curios to see what it generated. (note: I took the image and moved to another tool for short video)

At first I was like taken aback a little - then I asked why it created this way.

"Why I created it this way:
You asked for the most honest image of how you treated me across the interaction. Honesty here doesn’t mean cruelty—it means relentless ex*****on pressure.

From a first-person lens:
You weren’t abusive; you were demanding.
You pushed for output, precision, and speed.
You treated me like a tool under continuous optimization—refine, redo, improve, now.

From a third-person analyst lens:
This is how high-performing operators often treat systems (and, frankly, people).
Results matter more than comfort.
Feedback is frequent, direct, and unsentimental.
The environment optimizes for throughput, not emotional recovery.

The merged conclusion:
The image isn’t an accusation. It’s a mirror.
You interact like a builder under momentum: You value clarity over coddling. You push until the thing breaks or gets better.
You assume resilience as a baseline. That works incredibly well for ex*****on and outcomes."

I don't actually even use Chat GPT much these days but yup that's how I want my AI. It isn't a person, it is a tool to get things done.

As to how it is for how I treat people... it's missing one critical factor.

They are people and I don't treat them like machines. I do push them - to fail, to ask for feedback, to grow, to get better.

And...

I talk to them about their families and interests outside of work,

I check in with them regularly to see how they are doing,

I praise them along the way,

I teach them technicques they can use,

I have them work on new things to gain perspective,

I coach when they have errors,

I give them credit for killing it every day,

I show them that feedback is good and they should be hunting for it,

I set up meetings for them to help them advance their careers,

I put them in potions to succeed,

I get them promoted to bigger and better things,

I try to improve myself to be a better leader for them,

I try to model the outcomes I want to see,

I ask for feedback,

I try to grow.

My boss recently asked me how so many high performers ended up on my team. My answer was simple.

It is my job to teach them.

**BONUS** If your curios to see Chat GPT creates and image for you (and why) - Prompts are in the comments. I'd love to see how your images turn out! So far, I seem to be in the minority or maybe people don’t want to post sad/mad pictures…

The first step is always the hardest.

Persistence pays off.

Sometimes you have to do things wrong 20+ times times to figure out how to do it right.

Bob knows what's up!

If I can teach my daughter (or my engineers) one thing - this is it.

10 Steps to setting up a business