Mentor 4 The Masculine

Last night we celebrated the hard work.

Like men of old that returned home from fighting a battle greater than themselves and were welcomed by their women and children, so too did we gather.

It was not bloodstains the boys wore, but gravitas and groundedness from a boyhood passing by.

The boys who began my rites of passage program Wild Discipline 6 months ago, for the first time, were formally welcomed as men, marked by their elders and mothers, their sisters and brothers, their community.

They did the hard work, so they got to celebrate. That is the mark of manhood. Not the other way around - not “life is a constant party and then we take responsibility for the collateral damage”.

Not anymore. Now we start with responsibility and then acknowledge and bless and gather and honor and break bread.
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This was a threshold moment for me as well - for I have never formally led the circle of family in this way. It has been a dream. And the first part was realized.

I am so proud of these young men. Their families for showing up and honoring them. For the community who didn’t know them who stood up and said “thank you for doing this for the little boy in me who never had this chance”.

No one is left out now.

Doesn’t matter if you’re a teen boy, the family of one. This circle is for you. The tending is ON YOU.

We cannot stand by while boys masquerading as men rule the world. We cannot complain if we are not doing our part to witness the young men who can change the trajectory of our world - blessing them, honoring them, calling them forward, challenging them, testing them with our sadness and anger and pain, all of it.

All of it is welcome here.

Step in with us if you’re ready to do the hard work.

Because then the celebration is all the sweeter.

There is something ineffable about letting go of all I’ve known of a man for 37 years and discovering him brand new in 3 days of intentional living in the circle of men (and Divine Mother Nature).

And in that “something ineffable” there is wonder, endless magic, definitive challenge, deeper reclamation, and the understanding that whoever this man is, I want to know more of him.

I want to know more of the story of his father and grandfather. I want to know more of the warrior inside of him.

I want to know more of the way he listens, the way he blesses, the way he slows down and seeks the “right words” because he knows I am watching and he wants to make me proud.

I want to know more of the spirit that guides him back to the ocean (of devotion) and what helps him stay in the cold waters of his life.

I want to know more of why he looks upon me that way, and what I did to deserve that kind of love.

I want to know more, always. And forever.

I thought I knew you, Dad. But I see this is just the beginning.

I want to know more.

There’s no denying now that I’m a champion.

It’s clear to me that I’ve won.

And this is the feeling of victory.

This is the smile of a man who has found his people. His team. And kept his promise to them.

I did what i said i was gonna do. (The mark of a champion.)

I ate last. (The mark of a champion).

I trained alongside those better than me. (The mark of a champion).

So that when the playoffs of my life came i was ready.

For the doubt. The tears. The sacrifice. The walk up the mountain alone in the dark so i could show my people the way.

And now, as we celebrate our victory, i sit with tears on the sideline as the confetti flies. And release a deep sigh.

Thank you men of Wild Discipline for playing full out beside me. This is just the beginning…

TOMORROW. We share with the world our story, the 2.5 minutes that captures a 6-Month rites of passage. We invite our people to the mountain with us.

The Wild Discipline video launches tomorrow. And it will signify my stepping fully into my zone of genius.

(The mark of a champion)

We are losing men left and right to su***de, drugs, screens, lust, irresponsibility, fatherlessness, and lack of communally based ritual (just to name a few).

The solution is simple - Bless the men in your lives. Thank them. Remind them their feelings are welcomed.

Bring our young men into sacred circles, find a guide who can lead them through a true rites of passage journey.

The healing of our world starts at the sources of the pain that’s been hiding for too long (because they thought they had to).

You don’t have to.

Hey brother, bless you

My father is joining my men’s retreat.

(Deep breath, reflection, gratitude)

My father. Is joining. MY men’s retreat.

(emotion wells, tears stir in the bellows of my heart)

My father.

Has never done anything like this.

His camaraderie with men has been spent on the golf course, behind the barbeque, with iron-laden tools in hand.

He’s taught me how to use those tools over the years - and now I get to teach him how to use mine

This is a large and vulnerable leap of faith for a man who’s processing powers come from behind a fighter jet.

I’d say that takes some courage.

And now he’s ready to face new skies, new altitudes of exposure - but this time he’s flying with 6 other men in the cockpit, and they all have different ways of navigating the world.

He’s ready to trust me in the captain’s seat to thread the crosshairs in the coordinates of our inner landscape, territory that we’ve begun to explore more deeply together.

I’ll share more about that soon...

______

Disciple(s) of the Wild
A Retreat Into Our Masculine Lineage

09/26 -09/28
Private Beachhouse in Newport, OR

5 spots remain

A man from Scotland calling forth his father’s memory in a land sacred to him and his lineage.

A man from Wisconsin on the road with his friend back to his childhood home

A man from Puerto Rico naming the healing of his father wound.

A man from Canada welcoming his first born

A man celebrating reunion with the daughter he loves.

A man building house for two children who are not his biological own.

A man carrying his family across the PNW in an RV

A man from another generation declaring a new lease on life.

A man reclaiming his place.

A man-in-training speaking his voice and belonging.

A man-in-training calls forth a shift in his life.

These are the images of men in the process of incorporation, bringing their gifts home to their people.

They come from all walks of life.

They are all sons, they all have fathers. They all hold the responsibility to be good stewards for their kingdoms.

Do you see yourself in any of these men?

This is the greatest achievement in my young life on this path, and I’m humbled to know this is only the beginning…

… On July 9th, 8 men and 2 boys left for the mountain with nothing but food in their packs.

On July 14th, 10 men returned down the mountain with nothing but gold to share.

These are the men of Wild Discipline.

Their journey has been kept quiet, sacred in my heart as we’ve walked together over the past 3 months in preparation for 6 days on the mountain.

These men are fathers, and their sons stand beside them. Sons who have walked the path and reminded them of the joy and play (and anger, pain, sadness) that exist in the heart of young boys.

These men are sons, and their fathers stand beside them. Fathers who have walked the path and reminded them of the purpose and poise (and burden, grief, frustration) that exist in the heart of grown men.

They witnessed each other, held each other, cried each others tears. They leaned in, called out, wrestled with power and authority and hunger, danced in the meadow and dipped in the glacial melt below the rising sun on the mountain.

Their gold is theirs to claim, you may ask them their new name.

This is the halfway point in our rite of passage. No more sacred silence. Now we share.

Now we rise up now to share our gifts with our people.

Are you curious to receive these men? Are you ready to honor their holy purpose?

It is the same that resides in you.

(Thank you to all who have read this far, who have walked this far with me, who have lifted up this vision. Thank you God.)

Taking a moment to thank the brotherhood of men here in Bend that have been showing up for me in a big way since my return to the PNW this spring/summer.

After many years of hiatus, I reconnected with the Mankind Project USA in a humble but powerful circle in town. The men took me in as one of their own, welcomed my gifts, and helped me feel worthy of those gifts in a time where doubt has been in the foreground of my thoughts.

When I step into the circle there is deep work to process, and these brothers not only stayed present for the 30-40 min of my time, but even offered to continue it the following morning!

Part of my work was crossing a proverbial river from boyhood to manhood, and given the work that I do for a living (wilderness-based wisdom and embodiment), it didn’t feel like four walls and a carpet could help me cross it. “Are you complete?” they asked. “Well, I just need to cross the actual river now. Like in my physical body.” - “Okay. How’s Saturday morning - who wants to join Adam crossing the river?” A great enthusiasm flowed through the room and it was decided.

Here we are on the other side of the Deschutes River, six men and two doggos who came out with little notice and blessed me in my journey.

I pay this blessing forward every Wednesday here in Bend at “The Gifts of Our Fathers”, a sacred circle for men and boys, because I believe that healing together in the great outdoors is the way to walk each other home.

Thank you men, may the circle keep growing, and may the river keep flowing...

Friends - It is Men’s Mental Health Awareness month and I made this infographic to share (see picture 2) some of the alarming statistics on men/boys mental state and su***de rates.

I’ll be out at some downtown areas and parks in Bend, OR promoting this and holding space to listen to men/boys in need this week and next.

If you are male-identifying or love someone who is, come say hello and share your story, or be in touch with me - these statistics don’t change until we play our part in changing them.

That starts with calling someone and reminding them they are enough. Especially the ones that “seem okay” to you.

We lose half a million men every year to su***de (i.e. a man takes his life somewhere in the world every minute).

This has to shift.

We have to talk about this.

Speak up. A mother should not have to bury her son - not in this way.

Proud to stand by these men at the “Gifts of Our Fathers”, a weekly sacred circle for men and boys here in Central Oregon.

This past week we utilized the lava rocks of the high volcanic desert to represent the burdens our fathers have carried for us.

We stacked them high in a cathartic cairn, each one representing the aspects of our fathers that we now know weighed them down for much of our lives.

The men then chose one of those boulders and carried it up the hills to the top of the canyon, sharing how that burden was passed down to them, and how it has impacted their lives.

We released those boulders to the roaring waters of the Deschutes River below with a mighty scream and found an object in nature to take its place - a stick representing honesty and a lichen representing abundance.

This is no ordinary gathering of men. In two hours every Wednesday we meet the shadows and the sweetness of our masculine lineage head-on through the alchemy of fire, water, air, and earth.

Nature guides us to this healing and it happens quickly when we let it.

Not in Oregon and want this medicine for yourself? For you and your father?

I curate father/son retreats. Let’s draw up the blueprint