Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts

The room is filling up.

Here are some of the women who have already said YES to Get Yours:

The professor in Lisbon who has not asked for a raise in eleven years.

The mother of three in Atlanta who has not bought herself anything that wasn't groceries since 2019.

The lawyer in Toronto who has not had s*x she wanted since the divorce.

The widow in Wales who is rebuilding a house and her life from the studs up.

The newly single forty-eight-year-old who has never not been in a relationship.

The thirty-year-old who already feels like she is running out of time.
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The woman who has been with me for fifteen years and has been on her knees since the pandemic and, if we are honest, has not fully gotten back to her feet yet.

Some of them have done my work before. Some of them have never said the word p***y out loud in a sentence they meant. Some of them are bringing their daughters. Some of them are coming in spite of their boyfriends.

All of them, every last one, are walking in with the same question: What does my real life actually want from me, and how do I stop pretending I don’t know?

We begin in less than 2 days.

​​​​​​​Bring whoever you have been. The version of you who softens the email. The version of you who orders what your kid is having. The version of you who has not said the dream out loud in five years. The version of you who has been fine for so long she forgot what a real yes feels like in her body.

​​​​​​​We are going to meet her. ALL of her. Together.

It is time to come get yours: swa.pages.ontraport.net/get-yours-challenge

If you have lost your mojo, this one is for you:

There is the woman who has never met me.

The one who has never said the word "p u s s y" out loud without hesitating. Who has been watching the LinkedIn announcements, the Instagram engagements, the TikToks of women her age she suspects are settling — and feeling something get louder in her body.

She knows the version of her life she is currently living is too small for who she actually is. She is running out of patience with herself.

Then there is the Sister Goddess who has been with me for years.

The one who has done Mastery. Who has read my book, P***y. Who has been on the floor in the Swamp at midnight in her own kitchen. Who knows the tools, loves the tools, has run the tools — and lately, has felt the muscle atrophy on her in a way she does not know how to name.

Her mojo has gone underground. The siege of the last few years is getting under her skin. Her own pleasure has started to feel like something other women have, not something she lives in anymore.

What these two have in common is the sideline you are sitting on. It's the watching of other women that has gone from inspiring to devastating, and the patience with themselves that is, finally, running out.

Get Yours is the door for either of you.

If this is your first time, what waits inside is the practice itself –– three days live with me. You do not need to have read a word I have written. You walk in with one stubborn ache and walk out with the tool, the language, and the specific list of what you want — in your own voice, ready to act on that week.

If this is your tenth time, what waits inside is your way back to pleasure and back to yourself. It's the gym after a long winter. The practice, the room, the witness, the Brag, the Swamp...all of it back in your week, all of it back in your body. The work is the same as it ever was. But you are different. And the world is different, too.

We do this together, in real time, with each other as proof of life.

May 27 through May 29. Three days. Free.

Sign up HERE: swa.pages.ontraport.net/get-yours-challenge

It is time to come get yours.

P.S. If you have been hovering, this is your sign. If you have been with me for ten years and have been quietly slipping, this is also your sign. (Tag the friend who needs to read this – better yet, BRING HER.) Get registered and get yours.

You know that feeling...

The one where you're holding everything together for everyone else, and somewhere in the middle of all that doing, you disappear?

This is the week you come back.

Not by fixing yourself. Not by hustling harder. By learning to want again — out loud, on purpose, with a room full of women who are done waiting too.

It's time to go Get Yours: swa.pages.ontraport.net/get-yours-challenge

You know something?

It is not always the big failures that stop a woman in her tracks.

Sometimes, it is the accumulation of smaller things. The unanswered emails. The secret second-guessing. The quiet slide from I want this to maybe it isn't meant for me. The slow death of momentum that starts in the body long before it reaches the brain.

For me, it began in my twenties.

I had moved to New York to be an actress, and I could barely bring myself to audition. Instead I was drowning in the invisible questions every woman torments herself with: Am I pretty enough, talented enough, worthy enough to even try? Who do I think I am?

Untended, that doubt grew claws. It fed on my disapproval of myself, and pulled me down into a depression so airless that joy was a rumor and movement was a foreign country and the days blended into each other in a way I now recognize as a kind of slow burial. Suspended in emotional formaldehyde. Preserved, but not alive.

My life and my desire was the 3 D's: Doubt, depression, disapproval. They tend to accumulate, the way water accumulates, the way silt accumulates, the way regret accumulates. You start with one and before you know it, they are frozen in an iceberg that sinks your dreams and capsizes your desires.

People imagine I started this work after a calling from the heavens. A stroke of brilliance. A guru on a mountain.

It did not happen that way.

It started with a bad case of the triple D's, and what saved me was a fourth D altogether...desire.

At first, just a spark. A whisper under all the noise. A craving to feel something again. To remember what it was like to want, and remember that I was the one allowed to do the wanting – not just the receiving and the rearranging of other people's wants.

The bridge back to my own wanting was pleasure. Lots of it. Not the performative kind –– not for him or them or anyone else –– but pleasure for me, on purpose, every day. Eventually, finally, mine.

I built a practice out of that bridge that I have been refining for three decades and it is the foundation of every desire I have since fulfilled. From the books, to the bestseller, to the daughter, to the love affair I am still in with my own life.

From Wednesday, May 27 - Friday, May 29, I am teaching this foundational self-coaching tool LIVE for three days straight in my free challenge Get Yours.
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I am calling her the Pleasure Pivot. And she can be run in ten minutes, anytime, anywhere.

Her superpower? She catches you the moment you start handing yourself over, and hands your wanting back. She interrupts the moment you start to disappear — before another year of “fine” settles in. Before another year of less than you hoped for. Before another season of waiting for the right time to come back to your own want.

The Pleasure Pivot is for the woman new to the work with her own bad case of the D's. She is for the Sister Goddess who has known the work for 10 years and has felt the muscle go quiet on her in a way she cannot undo alone. She is for every woman in between — the one waiting for a real reason to come back to her own body and her own life.

Are you ready to want again?

It is time to come get yours: swa.pages.ontraport.net/get-yours-challenge

P.S. If I built a life out of the wreckage of the triple D's, you can build one out of yours. The Pleasure Pivot is where it starts. Get yourself on the list for my free challenge and prepare to get yours.

The question I get asked most often, right behind how do I have so much energy (the answer is 0rgasm, my love, lots of it...), is some version of how.

How do you have a life that big?
How do you have a daughter you adore, lovers who light you up, a body that still wakes up wanting?
How do you walk into a room and have it turn toward you the way it turns?
How did you do it? How do you keep doing it?

I will tell you exactly how.

None of it was an accident. None of it was given to me. None of it was luck or genetics or temperament or a trust-fund.

It is a curriculum.

I started building it three decades ago out of one stubborn question: what does a woman need, exactly, to stop performing fine and start being utterly, gloriously, inconveniently alive?I have been refining and living the answer ever since.

Several books, including one New York Times bestseller. A school I have been running for thirty years. A body of work that has reached hundreds of thousands of women. Millions of dollars made, remade, lost, given away, built back from nothing. A daughter I adore. A body that still says yes, loudly and often. A daily practice that has carried me through every sh*tstorm life sent — and life sent plenty.

The same tools, run thousands of times. In the kitchen at midnight. In the meeting room when somebody tried to make me small. In the bedroom on a Sunday morning. On the floor of a Broadway theater, on a night I did not survive on my own. Same handful of moves and tools –refined. Repeated. Used hard.

That curriculum is what I am teaching you, starting Wednesday May 27. Live. Free. Three days. The foundational tool of the practice is a self-coaching move called the Pleasure Pivot. She runs in less than ten minutes, anywhere — the kitchen, the car in the driveway before you can make yourself go inside, the bathroom on a hard afternoon, the bed at 11pm with the phone face-down. She catches you the second you start to disappear. She hands your wanting back.

Hear me on this one thing because it is everything. There is not only room for one. The work of getting yours is not a competition for a finite seat — it is a goddamn collaboration. When I got mine, I made room for you. When you get yours, you make room for the next woman behind you. And her daughter. And her daughter's friend, who has not been told yet that any of this is allowed.

We are all going to get ours.

It is time to come get yours: swa.pages.ontraport.net/get-yours-challenge

P.S. If a former wanna-be actress turned ex-waitress turned spiritually devotional commune girl built the life I built using these tools, then there is no version of you they cannot create.

P.P.S. Bring your mother. Bring your daughter. Bring the friend who has been close to leaving the marriage for two years. There is room for all of us.

We have had Hot Girl Summer. We have had Brat Summer.

This summer, my love?

This is Get Yours Summer.

This is the summer your wanting stops being a private 11pm crying jag and starts being a sacred f*cking act, witnessed by women who refuse to let you take it back.

The dream you stopped saying at dinner three years ago because somebody at the table made a face — spoken.

The ask you have been rehearsing in your head since the divorce, since the kids, since the diagnosis, since the world started melting down — made.

The thing you decided was too late, too ambitious, too inconvenient for the kind of woman you are supposed to be by now — taken.

With my hand reaching out for yours...

I am opening a FREE 3-day training on May 27 called Get Yours, where I'll teach you a self-coaching tool called The Pleasure Pivot.

You can run her anywhere – in the kitchen, in the car, in the bathroom crying after somebody said I just don't want you to be disappointed, in bed at 11pm with the phone still in your hand and the dream still in your chest. She catches you the second you start to disappear, and hands you your wanting back.

Come on in.

It is time to come get yours.

P.S. The world is loud right now, the racism is rampant, the news is unbearable, the grocery bill is criminal, and your nervous system has been on fire since November. Your pleasure is not a luxury, darling – she is medicine, she is mutiny, she is the only thing standing between you and the slow erasure they have planned for you. That desire of yours…wild, holy, goddamn furious...bring her with you. Register here: swa.pages.ontraport.net/get-yours-challenge

I’ve got a question:

Where are you, in relationship with the man or men in your life?

Single and terrified you won’t find partnership? Met, loved, and gratified? In the middle of a ‘silent divorce’? Or stuck in a partnership that’s filled with truths you can’t quite say because your partner can’t quite hear?

I know at least one woman in every category:

Angie, whose husband of 25 years left her for someone at the office – not because he stopped loving her, but because he wasn’t ready to grow in the ways their relationship required.

Ruth, whose partner of ten years got “carried away” with another woman and called it a mistake, when Ruth knew it was a pattern.

My friend Coco whose husband won’t go to therapy, won’t take the class, won’t crack himself open even one inch – and leaves her starving at a table she beautifully set.

And me? Well, there is a new man in my orbit who has rocked every drop of my world with his love and devotion.

If I am real and true, I would say – with great vulnerability and gratitude – that I have never been so well met, nor well held.

BUT there are circumstances in his life that make navigating all of this quite difficult.

And my go-to response is to get furious, instead of curious.

Let me be so clear…he is not doing anything wrong. He is simply being himself – cohabitating with one woman, soul mates with another, non-monogamous, living into his deepest truth.

Some days, loving him feels like pressing my hands against a beautiful window that won't open.

I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at the gap. The gap between what we have – which is real and electric and rare – and what I want, which is more of him than he has to give.

I know women who are in different versions of this same gap. Different men. Different circumstances. The same wound. And I keep asking myself…where did all this begin?

To answer that question, we have to look critically at the woman who raised him.

Our men didn’t arrive this way from nowhere. These baby boys were handed to a woman who was living in some degree of shutdown. Who had learned that her desire was dangerous, her pleasure was selfish, her needs were too much. Who loved him fiercely and taught him, without meaning to, that women’s inner life is a problem to be managed. That when a woman goes quiet, you let her. That when she dims, you don’t ask why. That her erotic aliveness – her fire – is either a threat or a service. Not a sovereign force to be honored.

So he grew up. And he brought that inheritance into every room he’s ever shared with a woman.

He’s not a villain. He’s merely a man who was never shown the map.

And you know what breaks my heart? Neither was she, and neither were we.

When I’m in pain with this man I love, my first move is rage. I want to make him wrong. I want to name every limitation, catalog every flaw, build a case so airtight that someone – he, or God, or the universe – finally has to concede that I deserve more.

But rage at someone who isn’t doing anything wrong is expensive. It costs you the connection, to him and to yourself. And underneath the rage, always, there’s grief. The grief of wanting what you want and not being able to make it appear. The grief of a gap you didn’t choose.

Rage says: he should be different. Grief says: I want more, and I don’t know how to bear wanting it.

Grief is the truth. Rage is the armor. And you cannot heal in armor.

So today, I want to introduce you to some practices that might actually help.

I am not going to tell you to leave or stay. I am going to tell you what I do when the pain is loudest. Because a woman who has lost herself in the pain of a man’s limitations cannot think clearly, cannot desire cleanly, and cannot know what she really wants.

1. Swamp first.

Don’t manage the feeling. Don’t explain it or justify it or make it make sense. Go somewhere private and let it move through you: sob, shake, stomp, roar. Swamping is not wallowing. It has a beginning and an end. It teaches your body that it's safe to traverse the dark terrain of your shadow side, and return more radiant than ever.

2. Dance until something shifts.

Put on the music that matches where you are – dark, aching, furious, sad – and let your body lead. The body knows how to process what the mind can only spin. At some point, the song changes, and something in you changes with it.

3. Go to your women.

To be witnessed. To say: I am in pain and I love him anyway and I don’t know what I want. Sisterhood is the container that makes it safe to not know yet. It is not a substitute for him, it is the thing that keeps you sovereign while you figure out what’s true.

4. Touch yourself like you matter.

Your body is yours. It was never his to activate, tend, or be responsible for. When you return to your own body with gentleness and presence, you are practicing the most fundamental agency: remembering that your aliveness does not depend on his availability.

5. Ask yourself what you actually want from him.

Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it be as large as it is. You do not have to act on it immediately. But you have to know it, deep down. A woman who is out of touch with her desires becomes a woman who adapts until she disappears.

Here is the radical thing I believe: the most powerful contribution a woman can make to the men in her life – her partner, her son, her brother, even the men she will never meet – is to become so fully herself that she models what an undimmed woman looks like.

To be so lit, so alive, so unapologetically in possession of herself, that he is in the presence of something he has never encountered before and cannot look away from.

(By the way, this is a skill you can learn and practice. It’s why I put together a Self-Love Mini Course for women who are ready to come back to themselves: mamagenas.com/selflove)

And the boys – our sons, our students, the small men we encounter – we raise them differently when we are sovereign.

We show them, in real time, what it looks like when a woman knows what she wants and says so. When her pleasure is not a reward but a practice. When she tends her own fire instead of waiting for someone else to light it.

The woman who raised him didn’t know. She was doing her best with what she had.

But you and me? We know.

We know that our aliveness is not a luxury. We know that our pleasure is not selfish. We know that a woman who tends her own fire doesn’t just save herself, she changes the temperature of every room she walks into, every man she loves, every child who watches her live.

That is the work. That has always been the work.

Have you ever found yourself at the precipice of a huge sea change in your life?

If so, then you know it ain’t always pretty.

It’s vulnerable.
It’s open.
It’s scary.
It’s messy.

And sometimes, it feels downright impossible to navigate.

How do you believe in a reality you’ve longed for, but have never touched or tasted?

How do you step boldly into the unknown when it would be so much easier to give up, throw in the towel, and pretend you give zero f*cks?

You let your desire lead. That’s how.

You leap before you look.

You ride that unstoppable force within you until the wheels fall off, and the terrain changes, and a brand new paradigm takes root.

But here’s where it gets tricky, my love. It’s easy to ignore the signs that change is afoot. We tend to downplay them or resist them altogether.

Why?

Because we don’t always recognize desire when it shows up.

Too often, it arrives disguised as pain, annoyance, inconvenience, or heartache. Like a tiny fishbone in your throat that just won’t swallow.

And it’s tempting to write that feeling off…instead of recognizing it as a signpost on the way to something better.

So today, I want to give you some clues to look out for. Five surefire signs that you’re ready for change.

The period right before fruition can look many different ways. And I hate to break it to you, but discomfort tends to be a common thread.

In the words of Anais Nin: “There came a day when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Maybe today is that day.

Here are a few signals I notice a lot, particularly in the lives of women right before they dive head-first into the unknown:

1. Everything around you is imploding.

Maybe your best friend betrayed you. Or your fiance cheated. Or you were rejected by all the graduate programs you applied to. Did you know that forest fires are part of nature’s cycle? They are tragic, destructive, devastating. And yet, deeply necessary for the earth to heal and regenerate. If it seems like your whole life is up in flames, burn it all down and rebuild.

2. You’re more sure than ever that your desire is never gonna happen.

The evidence is piling up and it’s starting to feel personal – like somehow, you’re the one it won’t work out for. But here’s the thing: anyone who has ever climbed a mountain has very nearly turned back just before reaching the top. Keep going. Your desire may be closer than it seems.

3. You’ve hit your “choke point.”

You poured years – and all your best tools – into building the life you have now…the one you were sure would feel wonderful. Maybe you went into debt for a degree that led to a job you now dread. Or you chose the right partner, and had the right babies – but still found yourself overextended, under-seen, and quietly running on empty. The details vary. The feeling doesn’t. It’s like the walls are inching closer and the air is thinning. Like something in your life no longer fits.

4. You smell what you want on someone else.

There’s something in the fragrance of another woman that tells you, “She knows sh*t I don’t know”. You catch it in the small things – the way she takes up space, the way she speaks without qualifiers, the way she seems at home in her body. Sometimes, this is not a great experience. It could show up as jealousy or judgment. Other times, it’s just full-throttle salivating excitement for what could be.

5. You feel a deep, moving PULL towards something or someone new.

You have that feeling that happens when you encounter unfamiliar territory and you just know, deep down, that it is already yours to claim. That you have a preverbal need to move towards it. Last week, there was a woman who called the School randomly, and said, “I am not a crier. I am not easily moved to tears. And I just keep crying at every testimonial video on your site. What is going on?” Do not ignore the wisdom of your emotional self. She will never lead you astray.

I should mention, there are also some signs that you’re definitely NOT ready for change. For example:

❌ You resist the expansion you see in others. You cling to your stuckness like a 4-year-old with a security blanket – refusing to part with it, even for an hour in the wash.

❌ You gather evidence for why change isn’t possible, and surround yourself with people who agree. You only want to hang out with folks who hate change as much as you do.

❌ You go numb. You cut yourself off from sensation until you can’t feel anything at all. No pleasure, no pain, just a lot of static on your channel.

It’s good to know which camp you fall into. And it’s also good to remember that your current perspective can pivot very quickly. In a matter of minutes.

I love intersecting with a woman’s storyline right when she is wobbling on the precipice of change.

The work I do is designed to teach her how to take her deepest longings, and plant them in the richest, most fertile ground imaginable.

So when the time comes for that bud to push its scared little petals into bloom, she is equipped with the tools, technology, and sisterhood to make it so.

And once she has that, a woman does not have to run after her desires. Nope. Nada. They just come crashing through her front door without knocking.

I want that for you.

I want you to feel so held, so loved, so accomplished, so supported, so gotten. I want to be by your side when you take the biggest risks of your life, on behalf of your deepest longings.

So, why don’t we start right now?

If some part of you is stuck in that liminal space – one foot planted in the life you’ve outgrown, the other hovering somewhere not-yet-determined – stay there for a moment. I have a resource that may help…

Introducing my Ultimate Guide to Getting What You Want: a totally free, two-part workbook that will help you architect your next evolution from a place of pure delight.

Inside, you’ll map out where you’re thriving, where you’re starving, and where your desire is quietly asking for more. And then, instead of forcing change – you’ll start experimenting with it.

Through pleasure.
Through curiosity.
Through small, powerful shifts that bring you back into contact with your own aliveness.

Try it out HERE: mamagenas.com/ultimateguide

And then let me know...

Do you see yourself in any of the signs above?
Do you sense that something big and deep is on its way to you? If so, what might it be?
How do you feel, and how are you going to nurture yourself during this time?
And, if you’ve been there in the past, how did you navigate that unpredictable moment right before a big shift finally came?

Whether this is a time of change, hibernation, suffering, or magic – thank you for being here and letting me hold you through it.

Why are men so dumb? And women so shut down?

I know. I know. I’m not supposed to say it.

But I have been on the phone all week, and I’m done pretending I don't see what I see.

My friend Angie called me yesterday. After three kids and 25 years of marriage, her husband is leaving her – for someone he met at the office. The office. He had a whole hand-built cathedral, and he traded it for a pop-up tent. Because growth felt like dying and escape felt like living.

My friend Ruth's boyfriend of ten years got "carried away" at a workshop. Ten years obliterated in an afternoon because he couldn't feel his own feelings. He called it a mistake. Ruth called it a pattern. Ruth is right.

Sophia's husband died too young, too soon. She will tell you quietly – with that particular grief that has no clean name – that he chose out. That when life said it was time to grow up, to go deeper, he left that invitation unopened. For years. Until his body made the decision his soul refused to make.

Coco's husband won't take a s*xuality class with her. She is handing him a golden ticket: more pleasure, better connection, a wife who is lit up and grateful. And he is leaving it on the counter in favor of his ego. His fragile, costly, catastrophic ego.

Let’s zoom all the way out. Russia. Ukraine. Iran. Israel. Gaza. The men running the world are playing a board game with actual human bodies. They are losing, doubling down, and calling it strategy. Thousands of years of the same stale move. When in doubt, dominate. When afraid, attack. When wrong, never admit it.

So I am asking – with love, with exasperation – what in the actual hell is happening with men?

Here is my theory. Men have been handed a story since birth: Needing help is weakness. Vulnerability is shameful. Win at all costs. But that story has a fatal design flaw. It has no room for growth.

Growth requires not-knowing. It requires saying, “I was wrong. I am lost. Teach me.”

So when growth comes knocking – and it always does – a lot of men find a workaround. They opt for a new woman. A war. A quiet, devastating shutdown.

They choose the exit over the evolution. And the women who love them are left holding the wreckage, wondering what they did wrong.

You did nothing wrong, sister.

And yet, I'm going to say something I don't hear enough women saying: we are not innocent here.

We feel the moment something goes off – the disconnection, the flatness, the way desire starts to dim – and instead of telling the truth, we soften our requests. We lower the bar. We turn ourselves off.

And when that happens? The relationship is already in trouble. Because a woman's turn-on is the life force of any connection. When she shuts it down, he feels it. He can't name it, but it's gone. And instead of turning toward that loss, he goes looking for it elsewhere.

Men escape. Women disappear. And everyone calls it love.

But what I really want women to hear is this: Your erotic aliveness does not belong to your relationship. It never did.

You were handed a story, too – just as damaging and limiting as his. A story that tells you your turn-on exists for him. That your desire is relational and your pleasure is a response.

And so, as women, we wait. To be chosen, ignited, and seen. We outsource the whole operation to a man and wonder why we feel so unsung and unsatisfied.

This is not a relationship problem. This is a sovereignty problem.

Which is why I teach what I teach. Because a woman who tends her own erotic fire – through dance, through self-touch, through the wild nourishment of sisterhood – is not defined by a man's limitations. She is not waiting for him to grow. She is already growing. She is already lit.

(Still waiting for someone else to flip the switch? Let’s fix that. Start here with my Self-Love Challenge: mamagenas.com/selflovechallenge Five days and five ways to take your turn-on back.)

I invite you to dance until something loosens. To find your sisters. To touch yourself like you matter. Because you handed men the keys to something that was never theirs to hold…and it’s time to take them back.

And now, I want to talk to him.

And by him, I mean *you*. The man this is being forwarded to right now.

I know that opening line made your jaw tighten. I know you want to click away.

But don't.

Because underneath all the sass, what I'm actually saying is that you are capable of so much more than you are currently living.

The woman who sent you this is starving…for the version of you that takes the class, says I don't know, risks looking foolish, and stays when staying is hard.

The men I have watched crack open – who get curious about their own interior life, who risk the vulnerability of real intimacy – they become the most extraordinary creatures on this planet.

Their women are devoted. Their lives expand.

That is what's available to you. The question is whether you want it badly enough to risk looking a little dumb at first.

Because the world doesn’t need more men who have all the answers. It needs more men who can bear the question.

P.S. You don’t need a partner to feel lit. You just need a practice. Join my Self-Love Challenge for a direct line back to yourself and your sovereignty: mamagenas.com/selflovechallenge