dr.jaimecoffino

Meet the team at the Coffino Center for Eating, Anxiety, and Mood Disorders!

Dr. Jaime Coffino
Dr. Brianna Altman
Dr. Jessica Lawson
Shoshanna Paperny, LCSW
Dr. Maha Mian
Dr. Ilana Schulder
Dr. Rachel Luba
Dr. Jordan Gette
Lucia O’Neill, LCSW

The Coffino Center consists of a group of rigorously trained clinical psychologists and therapists who provide evidence-based treatment and personalized care to patients. We provide treatment for eating disorders, anxiety disorders, OCD, depression, trauma, ADHD, and substance use disorders.
​
The Coffino Center for Eating, Anxiety, and Mood Disorders is currently accepting new patients. To learn more about the services we provide please contact [email protected]

Check out our website at www.coffinocenter.com

Growth doesn’t happen all at once.
Clarity takes time, but it always finds its way in.

Healing isn’t a straight line — it’s a gradual process of noticing, understanding, and allowing light to reach the places we once kept in shadow.

Each moment of awareness, however small, is part of the change.

Step 1: Identify the ED Thought
Ask yourself: What is my eating disorder telling me right now?(e.g., “You can’t eat that,” “You have to exercise after this)
- How do I feel when I believe that thought?

Step 2: Separate your voice from the ED
The “ED voice” often:
- Uses black-and-white, rigid thinking (“You’re disgusting if you eat that”)
- Speaks with fear or shame
- Feels punitive, controlling, or perfectionistic

Your own voice, by contrast:
- Is curious, compassionate, and nuanced
- Honors your values (health, relationships, creativity, freedom)
   
Step 3: Talk Back
Counter the thought using a more balanced or compassionate statement.
Examples:
ED Thought: “You don’t deserve to eat that.”
Restructured Thought: “Everyone deserves nourishment. Restricting will only make me feel worse.”

Step 4: Reconnect to Your Values
Ask:
- What would my recovered self say or do?
- What do I value more than obeying the ED? (e.g., connection, health, freedom, energy, peace)

Step 5: Choose an Opposite Action
Do something that supports recovery:
- Eat the meal or snack as planned
- Text a support person or therapist
- Write down what you’re proud of after challenging the ED

Food rules cause food guilt!

Food rules can keep you feeling stuck in the recovery process for a variety of reasons.

When we rely on food rules to manage our anxiety and difficult feelings, we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to move through those feelings. We just redirect them toward food and control. Healing takes place when we allow ourselves to feel.

Food rules can also make us feel like food is a moral issue. When we label food as “good” or “bad”, our self- worth can become tied to our eating behaviors.

Food rules can create a lot of shame and trigger disordered eating.

The goal is to have a more peaceful relationship with food. Food rules not only block flexibility in our eating but they can also reinforce rigid thought patterns that do not serve us.

Ask yourself, “What food rule did I break and where did this rule even come from? Is it arbitrary? Does this rule truly serve me?

Do you sometimes struggle to feel present, find it difficult to manage your inner experiences, or feel disconnected from your values? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) may help you find a more meaningful path forward. At the Coffino Center, we commonly use this as a primary treatment modality for anxiety and mood disorders. This evidence-based approach focuses on six core processes to help you build psychological flexibility:

💫 Acceptance- Accept that you have a range of thoughts and emotions.
🧠 Cognitive Defusion- Detach from your thoughts.
🕯 Being Present- flexibly and non-judgmentally bring your attention to your current experience.
🌱 Self as Context- you are not your thoughts and feelings. Instead, you are the consciousness observing your thoughts and feelings.
💖 Values- Identify your values
🚀 Committed Action- Make changes that help you meet your goals

Rather than avoiding difficult thoughts or emotions, ACT helps you create space for them—while still moving toward what matters most.

Which of these six areas resonates with you today?

I talk to a lot of patients who worry about finding a life partner. The uncertainty of the future can feel overwhelming—the “what if I don’t find someone?” spiral is a very real and very stressful thought.

But here’s the truth: everyone’s timeline is different. Taylor Swift got engaged at 35, and her journey is a powerful reminder that there is no universal schedule for love or milestones.

And while we can’t know the details of her relationship, I think people are responding to the idea that it feels like she didn’t settle. It’s clear that she’s with someone who doesn’t hesitate to love her out loud. That kind of love often comes after lessons learned from other relationships, moments of self-reflection, and the self-work it takes to accept the kind of partnership that is healthy.

From a psychological perspective, the partners we choose are deeply connected to the work we’ve done on ourselves. Often, people only become open to safe, supportive love after building self-awareness, healing from old wounds, and learning to let go of relationships that weren’t serving them.

So if you’re worried that you’re “behind,” remind yourself: there is no behind. The right relationship isn’t about hitting a deadline. It’s about finding someone who matches the growth you’ve already cultivated within yourself.

Love rooted in self-awareness and mutual growth will always outlast love chosen out of pressure or comparison.

✨ As a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders, I’ve seen firsthand how complicated food can feel for so many people. But I’ve also seen how freeing it is when food becomes more than numbers or rules—when it becomes connection, joy, and shared memories.

Last week, I got to make tiramisu from scratch with friends 🍰—laughing, tasting, creating something together. That’s the beauty of food freedom: it opens the door to presence and connection, instead of stress or shame.

Food is not just fuel—it’s togetherness. Here’s to rewriting our relationships with food so that moments like this feel possible and joyful. 💛

Building healthy relationships requires solid communication, and DBT gives us powerful tools to help us communicate effectively. One of my favorites is DEAR MAN, a step-by-step strategy for asking for what you need while maintaining respect for yourself and others.

📝 D – Describe: State the facts clearly
💬 E – Express: Share your feelings and thoughts
✨ A – Assert: Ask directly or say no firmly
👍 R – Reinforce: Highlight the positives of meeting your request
🧘 M – Mindful: Stay focused, don’t get sidetracked
💪 A – Appear confident: Your tone and body language matter
🤝 N – Negotiate: Be willing to compromise when needed

These skills help us balance self-respect, relationship needs, and our own goals.

Distress tolerance skills are like a mental first-aid kit. When emotions feel too overwhelming, the TIPP strategy can help bring your body and mind back into balance:

 ✨ Temperature – change your body temperature to quickly impact your physiology
 ✨ Intense exercise – release pent-up energy
 ✨ Paced breathing – calm your nervous system
 ✨ Paired muscle relaxation – let go of tension

These quick tools don’t erase stress, but they give you space to respond instead of react.

Not every emotion tells the full story. Sometimes our thoughts shape how strongly we feel—and sometimes our feelings shape the way we think.

By “checking the facts,” we can pause and ask:

- Am I responding to what’s actually happening, or to what I fear is happening?
- Are my thoughts based on facts, or assumptions?

When we slow down and notice the sequence—event → thoughts → emotions vs. event → emotions → thoughts—we gain clarity and perspective.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, try to “check the facts!”

Another type of mindfulness practice is using the “How Skills”. Similarly to the “What Skills”, these skills aren’t about emptying your mind—it’s about engaging with your mind differently.

The How Skills offer three ways to practice:

 🤲 Non-Judementally – observe without labelling binaries such as good or bad and attempt to accept each observation for as it is.
 🎯 One-Mindfully – focus on one thing at a time and as you do so, be present in the moment so you are able to release all distractions. 
 ✅ Effectively – do what works for each given situation and try your best to avoid allowing your emotional mind to influence you.

These skills, when practiced often, nurture awareness and reduce emotional reactivity, guiding you toward greater balance.