05/04/2024
5.4.24
It’s my mom’s birthday and my day off from mothering. This combination is allowing me to sit in mom . I’ve been crying off and on, like misty rain. I woke up and scoured the photo album section in the living room, searching for this one photo of my mom in Hawaii. The time she lived there.
Was it in her early to mid 30’s? I should really figure out when. I know it was for 2 years. I know it was after she got her Masters in Library Science from Florida State Univ. I know she met Pat, who would become known as Pat Hawaii b/c of the over saturation of Pats. Who would be her pen pal and confidant. Living in Hawaii would be equivalent to my living in SF. It was my mom’s love affair, great adventure, escape from NJ time period.
I found the Ma Hawaii photo as Emmy and Rainey both bickered and wouldn’t listen to Albert to get dressed, get ready, they were leaving any minute. Did they p*e? Where were their socks and shoes? Don’t put them on now. It’s too soon. No shoes on in the house not because we are an Asian family. But b/c it’s dirty. Why weren’t their shoes on? We have to go.
They left. The house was quiet. As I got ready to get my morning coffee, all those photos I sifted through in no logical order, looking for the one photo—they started to seep into my skin. And the rain came.