The Ministry Wife Coach with Kristen Joy

I started my personal healing journey the moment I was first asked, "Is it ok for you to have needs?"

The question astounded me (it's now one I ask regularly). I was astounded because my knee-jerk reaction at 38 was "no. Not at all. They just get in the way."

While it's years since I've had that reaction to the question, and years of work to move through the layers of answers that come in response to the question, at each new intersection, I find myself wrestling with this old question.

Am I really ok needing what I need? Or do those needs mean I don't fit, I don't belong, I take up too much space, I'm in the way, etc. etc. etc.

Can anyone else relate? (I know you can, because I see this wrestle underlying so many of the interactions I have with other women.)

Today, this whole week, I've been taking intentional time to allow the wrestle as I face another intersection.

I call in my helpers, those who help me think clearly, hear the whispers from my God, who remains my anchor despite the condition of His Body (nothing new under the sun).

And part of those needs is need to make intentional space for seeing beauty.

Even though I don't know you, I know you have this need, too. It's God-designed.

May you also be able to take a few intentional moments to absorb His beauty, goodness, and faithfulness- even in the midst of a very broken world.

It won't always be like this.

Thank My Creator.

We haven't announced it yet- so I guess you could consider this that- but there's exciting activity going on behind the scenes!

Launch date for the new podcast is approaching- August 3.

Any guesses as to what topic we'll be addressing??!!??

Feeling exhausted?

Burnout isn't a badge to wear, regardless of your position.

Join us THIS SATURDAY for grounded conversations about burnout, overfunctioning, healthier rhythms, emotional recovery, boundaries, and sustainable ministry.

June 6 • Free Online Event
Get the details + reserve your free spot at the link in the comments!

Almost 8.5 years later, we're off to offer the help we wished we had had in some of our darkest, highest crisis point moments- assisting a family forced out of their church by leadership gone wrong- a painful experience most judgemental wrongly.until they're in it.

THRILLED to be able to do this with one of my own kids- she knows the confusion the kids have.

This ministry is a privilege.

Just a friendly reminder as you head back into "post-Easter normal".

Rest is essential - not an after thought.

If you didn't get that over the past week (as most ministry families don't), how will you find ways to rest today? Tomorrow? Moving through the week?

HE IS RISEN!

For those busy with celebrations from within local congregations, yet wishing their had a "normal" Easter "like everyone else"- you are seen.

For those missing out due to sitting ill in a hospital room, or in a home beside a dying loved one, or holding the head of a feverish child - you are seen.

For those who feel today as a deep heartache, remembrance of the deep rejection and betrayal from those who stand and shout "He Is Risen!" today, yet who have not yet learned how that must transform us from the inside out- all the way to the way we lead in our local churches- YOU ARE SEEN, TOO!

And for for all these reasons and so many more, Jesus did pay it all. One day we will sbe with Him in his presence. There He will fulfill the entirety of His promise that He will wipe away every tear and we will freely worship at His feet without the impact of sin, shame, fear, and suffering.

Wherever you are today- there is no shame to be there. May His good, steadfast, hesed love meet you there and minister to you in the depths where only He can go.

This is the promise of Easter, taking the weight of God's wrath so we can be with Him freely.

What if our churches became places of deeper safety, healing, and understanding?

Pete Singer's article, Toward a More Trauma-Informed Church: Equipping Faith Communities to Prevent and Respond to Abuse, invites us to rethink how faith communities can better support those impacted by trauma.

If you care about building a safer, more compassionate community, this is an important read.

Article: https://www.netgrace.org/resources/toward-a-more-trauma-informed-church

The remnants of what decades of housing insecurity in ministry life look like...you still keep boxes to use for packing even when you own your own home and have no one threatening the roof over your head by sheer decision of not really liking you anymore...

(And yes, there are way more boxes- and empty walls- but those pics aren't making it here.)

And tonight, a group call with sweet women who are walking the deep pain of an unwanted church exit.

I walk away from these nights full of thankfulness for the work I'm entrusted to do, the care I can help facilitate.

I also walk away from these meetings deeply disheartened by the actions of so many. The many who show up to celebrate your arrival, bring food, watch the kids so you can unpack...then the echoing silence and deep rejection when the say, "you're done here. You can't come in to work tomorrow. You'll have to get an appointment with the secretary to get your things out of your office next week." (Never mind every single piece of what's in that office is a part of you- your own investment into THEIR growth and wellbeing...)

The question remains- how can people who call themselves "true Christ-followers" treat anyone like disposable garbage, often over nothing. (Yes, nothing.)

Even if for moral reasons, no one should be treated by someone claiming the name of Christ in such as hateful manner.

(Do we have to wonder why our political/religious spheres are on 🔥??? It's not a far stone's throw...)

**Disclaimer: the quote here is from my own story. I do not use anyone's specific story in sharing publicly. However, there are certain "scripts" church leadership uses and I hear the patterns over and over. If this resembles any part of your story, know it is without intent.)

Blizzard or not, ministry continues!

Looking forward to meeting with pastors' wives tonight for the kick off to new supports thanks to their denominational leaders! Thank you to all the church leaders who invest in the well-being of those serving in their churches!