09/22/2026
Sometimes my heart aches in a way other people don’t fully understand—especially when you’re a passionate, charismatic Christian who truly believes God can restore what’s been broken.
I’ve learned that women often grieve while they’re still in the relationship. And that’s the part a lot of people don’t get. By the time I ever “walk out the door,” I’m usually not deciding in that moment. I’ve already been grieving for a long time—praying, processing, hoping, trying, and learning how to release things in stages.
So if it’s truly over, I believe in this: I can wish you well and start to heal.
Not because I didn’t care, but because God has a heart for peace—and I have to obey His leading, even when it hurts.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
And I’ve also heard the other side from friends sharing—women who feel hurt after saying things like, “Well, you didn’t fight for us. You didn’t even try to keep me.”
My perspective is simple: you fight for each other, or you let it go.
When someone tells me they aren’t happy and they don’t want the relationship anymore, I’m not going to try to control their choice. It’s not my job to force anyone to feel what they don’t feel. I can contribute to my own happiness through love, presence, effort, communication, support, and growth—but I can’t manufacture feelings for another person.
I’m also not one-sided. I’ll initiate in the beginning—because that matters—I'll share my all, if the energy is not reciprocated early on, I'm done trying. but I’m not going to chase. Especially after a relationship is established, why keep trying to convince someone who isn’t choosing me back? It's not that I need a man, I choose to share life and enjoy all its goodness with a partner. To be his designed helpmate. ❤️
If the effort isn’t reciprocal, I’m not “winning.” I’m just expending energy in a place God didn’t call me to carry.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21)
One line that hits hard for me is: “If you loved me, you would change.”
People don’t genuinely change for someone else’s expectations. Real change comes from commitment, accountability, experience, and actually choosing a new direction—together—with a shared end goal. There’s compromise, forgiveness, and intention from both sides. If there’s a real struggle, they need to change for themselves because they see their own ability, capabilities, and purpose. You are worth it!
Yes, I believe someone can change for the better with the right partner.
But there’s a difference between:
changing because you’re building something real with someone who strengthens you, and
changing because you’re trying to prove you’re worth staying for.
Ladies—please read that again: real growth isn’t a performance to earn love. It’s a life transformation God produces when the heart is surrendered.
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” (Philippians 1:6)
Love is mutual. Love is effort on both sides.
You fight for each other. You grow with each other.
You meet in the middle—with compassion, passion, compromise, communication, and commitment.
But once only one person is carrying it—only one person chasing, changing, and holding everything together—while the other is drifting, unsure, or sitting on the fence… it stops being a relationship.
It becomes expectation instead of covenant.
And hey—if you don’t understand what I’m talking about, that’s okay. I’m just a woman choosing wisdom, peace, and God’s will for my life.
“God is love.” (1 John 4:8)
