Growing Kinder

At the end of our walk this morning, Juno wandered into the dunes to finish whatever business the dunes had for her. Just small, important dog things. I waited. I try to build in enough time in our outings for her to choose how she spends part of it. Not a rushed “sniff quickly, we have to get back,” but actual space for her to decide when she’s done or how spends her time. Some days it’s thirty seconds. Some days it’s ten minutes. My job is simply to make sure we have the time. As you can see, when she’s finished, she just wanders back and nudges the harness. There is no cue, no prompt, no treat waiting in my hand. It is simply something that has grown between us, her way of saying, I’m done now. It is easy and it flows because nothing important is being cut short. She has already followed the smells she wanted to follow and checked the things she wanted to check. I am not asking her to choose between the pull of the environment and the pull of responding to me. We spend a lot of time teaching dogs to answer us in those pressured moments, and sometimes that is necessary. But as often as possible, its about the moments where she is free to decide how to use her time. The behaviour at the end is simply a dog who has finished what she needed to do. What I love about these moments is that they’re not about being clever. They’re about giving a dog genuine choice and control over parts of their own day. They’re about recognising that a walk isn’t a task to tick off the to-do list, but rather its a window for an individual to meet their own needs and desires. And the interesting thing is that when I protect her choices like this, it quietly serves us both. She gets to regulate, decompress, and feel in control. I get a dog who moves on more easily, who doesn’t have to be dragged from something important, because she knows there will be time to finish. Less management, more conversation. Today, the dunes needed ten minutes. So we gave them ten minutes.

...consider what we are communicating.

Prong collars. I’ve got a lot of new followers recently - thank you - so thought I’d repost this one as I’m still getting so many people coming to me having been told that these things are ‘the only way’… I don’t use these tools because they don’t align with my training methodology or ethics. However in this video I wanted to present as factual as possible a representation of what this tool is and how it works. In order for a tool like this to effectively alter behaviour the learner must find its application appropriately aversive, so that they seek to avoid its application in future. That avoidance is what changes the dogs behaviour. I also wanted to address some of the myths that are perpetuated in order to justify the use of this tool. Dogs biting each other to correct unwanted behaviour is a very rare occurrence, especially with mothers and their pups. But ultimately we do not need to attempt to communicate with dogs like dogs as we are not dogs and dogs know that. Dog guardians on the whole are doing their best for their dogs, so I am not shaming you if you use one of these; maybe a professional has told you it was the only way, maybe you read some advice online. I work with a lot of clients who have been told that a prong collar (that’s how I have this one btw) is the only way to modify their dogs behaviour, but that is simply not true. So if that resonates, and perhaps using it makes you feel uncomfortable, then reach out and I can help you find an alternative way forward. Other professionals on the other hand should be doing better, and should be honest with their clients about how this tool works, the potential fall out of its use, and how it certainly isn’t the only way forward. If that individual doesn’t know of another way to proceed then they should refer the case on to someone that does. Thank you for reading; follow me for more dog training tips. #dogtrainer #dogtraining #dogtrainingtips

Captive creatures doing the best they can...

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Wild Wolves vs. Captive Wolves: Why Their Social Order Isn’t the Same.

If you’ve ever watched videos of wolves in captivity and thought, “Wow, they’re aggressive with each other,” you’re not wrong, you’re just not seeing wolves in the environment they evolved for.

Wild wolves and captive wolves live under completely different social rules and their hierarchies reflect those differences.

In the wild, a wolf pack is simple: it’s a family. A breeding pair (mom and dad), their pups from multiple years, and occasionally one very submissive outsider.
That’s it.
No ladder-climbing. No dominance tournaments. No unrelated animals forced into the same space.

Because of this, wild packs function on cooperation, predictability, and lifelong familiarity.
Disagreements happen of course, but they’re brief. No grudges, no drawn-out fights. Serious injuries are too risky when the whole family has to survive winter together.

Captivity… rewrites the script.

Captive “packs” are often formed from wolves who aren’t related, didn’t grow up together, didn’t choose each other, and can’t leave when tension builds.

Even in a large enclosure, it’s still a closed system. No dispersal. No roaming. No option to walk away.

This creates a social structure that is nothing like a natural pack. Hierarchy becomes sharper. Tension lasts longer. Fights can escalate because there’s limited space for wolves to diffuse, avoid, or self-separate.

People watch this and say,
“Wolves are brutal, they’re always fighting for dominance.”

But they’re not watching “dominance”. They’re watching confinement.

In the wild, dominance displays are quiet conversations: a tail position, a sideways look, a quick snarl.
These are messages meant to prevent injury, not cause it.

In captivity, those subtle tools aren’t always enough. Wolves can’t rely on movement, distance, or natural dispersal to resolve conflict, so their behavior gets louder and more intense. Like humans stuck in an elevator.

To understand wolves, look at the system they evolved in: a stable family unit with fluid roles, clear boundaries and constant cooperation.

Captive wolves show us what wolves can become under pressure.
Wild wolves show us what wolves truly are.
Photo: Rah & Tacate

How we understand them matters. What misconceptions have you had about your dog? What changed when you understood them better?

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What's got your purring today?

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What are you purring about today?

“I cannot do all the
good the world needs.
But the world needs all
the good that I can do.”
~Jana Stanfield



Artist: Natalia Shaloshvili, Ukraine/UK
Source: Naive Art Extraordinaire
(Naive Art simply means "self taught.")

Poetry Comics Month, Day 15

One of the most common ways to use classical conditioning in dog training is paired with desensitization. In desensitization, we make sure that the thing the dog considers scary is only ever shown to them at a level where the dog is not scared at all, in fact they are quite happy. The counter-conditioning part involves giving wonderful treats whenever the scary thing (or components of it) are there.

Learn more on my blog: https://www.companionanimalpsychology.com/2024/11/three-important-uses-for-classical.html

Or you can get all the details in my book Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful, or Reactive Dog https://amzn.to/3Xkk5nC