“UntoldMe: Living With DID in a World That Doesn’t Understand It”
UntoldMe is my outlet — the place where my voice finally has room to breathe. Without photography and writing, I don’t know where I’d be. I advocate for people living with invisible mental disabilities, and I speak up for Idaho’s homeless population, because the truth is simple: most of us are just one paycheck away from losing everything. I live in one body, but my brain has divided itself into separate parts. This is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), a condition that takes years of intensive therapy to diagnose and often stems from childhood trauma. Trauma is personal — what devastates one person may seem ordinary to another — but its impact is real. My brain splintered into different versions of me. I am the Host, but my alters each have their own identities, behaviors, preferences, and even physical traits. One loves red lipstick. One smokes Marlboro Reds. One is a man. Together, we form our system, and we protect my inner child, Kimmie. Every system is different. I’m not a doctor; I can’t diagnose anyone. I can only share my reality. When an alter fronts, I lose time. It feels like sitting in the back seat of a car I’m supposed to be driving — watching everything, yet unable to control anything. When I return, my head aches, I yawn, or my eyes feel hot. I dissociate 69.29% of a 12‑hour day. I didn’t know any of this until I saw myself on video and said, “That’s not me.” But it was — just not the version I knew. My wife of 13 years has carried more of this burden than anyone. She’s lived through the confusion, the repeated conversations, the missing memories, the strange behaviors, the endless lists, the emotional storms. None of us signed up for this, but love doesn’t come with warning labels. People with DID or complex PTSD often barely exist in the world. Life can feel like hell until you accept who you are and what you stand for. I stand for those who cannot stand for themselves — the ones without a voice. Help me end the stigma surrounding mental illness. It’s time to remove the jacket society has forced onto us. Thank you for stopping by. UntoldMe —
