Mother Natures Niece

You need to hear this… healing people pleasing does not feel good at first.

Changing a pattern you’ve had 31 years feels uncomfortable and unknown …the version of you that doesn’t people please isn’t fully formed yet. Your brain tries to pull you back because predictable felt safe to your nervous system. It literally sounds the alarm while you’re trying something new.
What’s helped me not lose my marbles:🙃

🌿 Self-soothing like crazy – since my brain thinks I’m in danger, I have to manually tell it that I’m not. I paint, go to the gym, get sunlight, meditate heavily. Anything that calms my nervous system.

🌿 Creating structure – when my brain feels chaotic, routine helps. Gym at the same time. Simple habits. Small predictable wins so my brain stops freaking out.

🌿 Daydreaming about the life I actually want – I know I don’t want to people please for the rest of my life. At first my daydreams are chaotic (lol) because I’m so used to being silent. But eventually they land on something simple: me speaking up when I’m uncomfortable.
I still feel lost sometimes, but sitting with discomfort isn’t weakness ,it’s rewiring. If you skip this step you’ll revert to comfort that costs authenticity.

We got this. 🌿 Save this for the next time your brain screams “go back.”

Sitting With Your Emotions: What Your Therapist Means and How to Do It — Therapy for Black Girls If you’ve ever been in therapy or had a heart-to-heart with someone who’s big on...

Where to start even with breakup recovery ?

Lately, it’s been just me, my thoughts, and my space , and honestly, it’s been kind of beautiful… and brutally real. I’m actively working on my people-pleasing, realizing it’s spilled into almost every corner of my life. And I know, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

So I decided to flip the script. Kept the place after my breakup, but not the memories or the old vibe. I added plants 🌿, lights ✨, and intentional touches to lift the energy and keep my spirit high, even on the heaviest days.

Here’s what’s been helping me navigate the shift:

🌸 Sit with your feelings….let yourself feel, but don’t fall into the spiral

🧘‍♀️ Meditate, ground, breathe

🎶 Set the mood with music that lifts your soul

🪴 Adjust your environment to reflect the energy you want, not the one you’re leaving behind

💡 Create routines that honor your own time and space

It’s quiet here. I have more time than ever to just be, to learn to be diligent with my own growth again. Adjusting is tough, but learning how to manage your feelings is worth every effort.

Changing your space changes your mind, which changes your energy. And your energy changes everything.

☀️ ❤️

I have a confession to make ✨
I will hold onto a dying plant until it’s crispy… and then feel guilty when it finally gives up. And if I’m honest, I’ve done the same thing with people.
I used to think love meant trying harder. More water. More light. More patience. More of me. But sometimes the roots are already rotting, and no amount of effort fixes a bad foundation.
Here’s what I’m learning:
🌿 Check the roots, not just the leaves (use clear pots)
🌿 Not every plant thrives in your home and not every person thrives in your life 🧏🏾‍♂️
🌿 Pruning is healthy, not cruel
🌿 Letting go is not the same as failing

Holding on past the season doesn’t prove loyalty. It proves fear. And I’m done overwatering things that were meant to teach me, not stay.

Be honest… are you an overwaterer in life too?

I really thought the breakup was going to drag me
like it would break something in me that I couldn’t fix again like the last time ….
but my first love taught me
Why I shouldn’t abandon myself trying to keep someone else
and my second love taught me
i WON’T abandon myself again for anyone.

that’s growth
it’s quiet
it’s internal
it’s choosing myself even when it’s hard
going into my 30s I don’t want a love that costs me me
and i’m proud of the woman who finally learned that 🤍

Your plant isn’t dramatic… it’s drowning. 🌱
I’ve learned the hard way that root rot doesn’t happen overnight. It starts quietly. Leaves yellowing from the bottom up. Soil staying wet for days. A musty smell you can’t ignore. Stems getting soft. And if you check the roots and they’re brown, mushy, and falling apart instead of firm and white… that’s root rot.

The biggest cause is overwatering and poor drainage. Your plant needs oxygen at the roots just as much as water. When soil stays compact and soaked, the roots suffocate and begin to decay.

How to prevent it🌵
• Always use pots with drainage holes
• Choose chunky, well draining soil
• Let the top few inches dry before watering again
• Never let your plant sit in standing water
• Adjust watering in winter when growth slows

If you catch it early, trim off the mushy roots, repot in fresh dry soil, and give it time. Healthy roots are firm and light in color.

Sometimes loving your plant means watering it less, not more.🥴🥴

What’s the last plant that you unalived from root rot … we are having a public funeral for the ones that didn’t make it ☹️😔

If anyone wants to get me a present 😂😂😂🥰😍