“I need to know what’s on that list.”
That’s the moment everything shifts.
In this clip from the “I Wish You Could Hear This” podcast, we talk about what real honesty actually requires.
For many betraying partners, the deepest lie wasn’t just to their spouse —
it was the one they told themselves:
“If anyone really knows, they’ll leave.”
Recovery begins when that lie is confronted.
But honesty alone isn’t enough.
You also have to deal with what you’re being honest about.
That’s why full therapeutic disclosure should never be rushed or done alone.
Not chaotic.
Not improvised.
Structured.
Supported.
Professionally guided.
Disclosure isn’t about punishment.
It’s about clarity — so both partners are living in the same reality.
If you’re early in recovery and wondering whether disclosure is next, we help couples prepare and walk through it safely.
Support changes the outcome.
The Raabsmith Team
We help counselors and coaches better serve couples in their pracice
Shame convinces us that hiding will protect love.
But hiding is what keeps us from ever fully experiencing it.
When we stay hidden, we may avoid rejection —
but we also prevent acceptance.
Real intimacy begins when honesty is supported, not forced.
When truth is shared with structure and safety.
In early recovery, shame is loud.
That’s why guidance matters.
We help couples move from shame-driven hiding to structured, supported honesty — especially in the early stages of recovery and disclosure preparation.
If that’s where you are, support can change the outcome.
Thanks to Shaunti Feldhahn for this conversation! Episode 33 on "I Wish You Could Hear This"
Recovery isn’t the wall keeping you from what you want.
Addiction is the wall keeping you from the life you were made for.
Too many people see sobriety or recovery as a punishment—as a life of restriction. But when you’ve experienced the damage of living out of alignment with your values, you know the truth: addiction takes far more than it gives.
Recovery is where you start living again.
If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling your way through healing and want to build a life marked by honesty, intimacy, and joy—we can help.
✨ We guide couples through every stage of the journey—from discovery to disclosure to deep relational restoration.
🔗 Learn more at raabsmithteam.com
“If I could have those 10,000 hours back…”
Addiction doesn’t just steal moments—it steals days, focus, energy, and identity. When recovery starts to stick, many people are shocked to realize just how much of their life was consumed by their addiction.
The freedom to think clearly…
The mental space to connect authentically…
The time to become the person you want to be…
That’s the gift of real recovery.
And here’s the key shift:
🛠️ Recovery isn’t just about your marriage—it has to become yours.
Not for your partner. Not to avoid consequences. But because you want your life back.
👉 Ready to reclaim your life? We help couples and individuals walk through recovery—from discovery to full restoration.
🔗 Work with our team: raabsmithteam.com
| Link in bio
“I thought I was the only one… until I heard someone else’s story.”
Keeping secrets might feel like survival, but it’s actually a slow prison. So many couples we work with are stuck in the same place—ashamed, isolated, and afraid to speak up.
But healing starts the moment you stop hiding.
Whether you're the one carrying a secret, or the one who's been hurt by one, you don’t have to figure this out alone. There is a better way—and we walk with couples through every step of the journey: from discovery, to disclosure, to deep relational restoration.
🔗 Ready to start? Learn more at raabsmithteam.com
01/05/2026
Healing after betrayal can feel like an emotional rollercoaster — exhausting, confusing, and scary.
That’s why the Betrayal Healing Conference exists.
This free, online event (Jan 26–30) brings together 30+ experts to offer guidance, clarity, and real support for people healing after betrayal…and We are honored to be speakers again this year!
Every year we hear so many stories from partners finally feeling seen, heard, and understood.
Register for free by commenting “Healing”
12/24/2025
Happy Holidays from The Raabsmith Team
As the season continues to unfold, we want to pause and say that it’s an honor to walk alongside you as you continue your journey of healing and growth.
May these days offer moments of meaning wherever you find yourself. You are not alone, and we’re grateful to be a part of your story.
11/27/2025
What happens when couples make space to step away from the noise and be present with each other again?
We witnessed it firsthand this weekend in Colorado Springs.
Thirty couples gathered for the Renewing Us Retreat — creating sacred space for honesty, safety, trust, and vulnerability. We saw hope renewed and connection restored in ways that words barely capture.
On the blog, we’re sharing reflections from this powerful weekend and why every couple needs time apart for each other, not from each other.
Comment the word SACRED below and we will send you the full reflection.
The countdown is on! In just a few days, couples from across the country will come together for our Renewing Us Retreat — a weekend of healing, connection, and renewal.
We created this retreat to remind couples that they’re not alone. Real healing happens in safe spaces where honesty and hope meet.
We can’t wait to welcome everyone and watch the transformations begin.
Healing isn’t about racing ahead—it’s about slowing down enough to truly attend to the wounds.
So many couples feel stuck in “forever recovery,” trying to move forward too quickly. But the truth is: healing can’t be rushed.
When real attention is given to the trauma—especially by the one who did the betraying—something powerful shifts. The betrayed partner feels the difference. The relationship begins to stabilize. Rebuilding can finally begin.
You can listen to the full interview with Be Broken Ministries on the PSR Podcast.
10/31/2025
Keeping the peace shouldn't cost you your voice.
In early recovery, it can feel safer to stay silent. To avoid conflict. To nod and smile when you're actually hurting inside.
But compliance—the choice to suppress your needs or bury your emotions—doesn't build trust. It builds resentment.
In Part 3 of our Conflict Cycle series, we’re unpacking how compliance quietly erodes intimacy… and what it looks like to choose cooperation instead.
💬 Have you been “going along to get along”?
💔 Do you feel like your voice doesn’t matter anymore?
You’re not alone—and it doesn’t have to stay this way.
✅ Head to our website to read the full blog.
🎯 Or reach out to work with one of our coaches—we specialize in helping couples like you rebuild real connection after betrayal.
“It wasn’t just the behavior—it was the betrayal.
The lies. The deception. The complete shattering of reality.”
For so many partners, this is the hardest part.
Not just what happened…
But what it meant.
💬 “If this wasn’t true… what else wasn’t true?”
If you’re in the fog of betrayal, wondering what’s real and where to even begin—
You’re not alone.
There is a path forward—and we walk it with you.
➡️ Follow us for trauma-informed support, truth-telling, and hope that healing is possible.
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