Transformation in Spades

01/13/2023

Give yourself the gift of mastery by coming back again and again to honing the skills around your art, whether that's a healing art or a visual art or sound art.

In AVATAR we are diving into the skills of communicating with our most loyal of magickal familiars and the primary channeler of Divine Art: our own bodies.

08/24/2022

What if I told you that you had an ancient EXTREMELY POWERFUL, 💀DANGEROUS💀 magical instrument in your possession RIGHT NOW gathering dust?

✨️🔮 𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝘁. 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲.🔮✨️

If you discovered that your morning yogurt spoon actually had the power to bring you astounding abundance, ✨️glittering aliveness✨️, and tap you into the very power that creates (and destroys 😱) universes... would you still put it back in the drawer to be knocked around and nicked up by the other spoons?

Yet most of us are essentially doing this every day, oblivious to the thrumming power that lies hidden beneath years of neglectful dust.

It's disguised as an everyday instrument.

🔮 👀 You used it today, in fact. 👀 🔮

𝗔𝗹𝗮𝘀. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱.

When this instrument is activated it can bring you:

✨️✨️glittering aliveness and wonder✨️✨️

🌱 A delicious sense of connection and belonging🌱

💰💰💰CASH💰💰💰

💥💥💥POWER💥💥💥

It's like having a bestie in your pocket , so you feel always richly supported, loved, and never alone.

👇👇 Comment Below if you want to learn how to unleash this instrument! 👇👇

05/17/2022

07/05/2021

Most of us have been mis-taught about what humility is. Most of us have been taught to make ourselves low and small, quiet or meek (another misunderstanding, but that's for another day) in order to be humble but this is a misunderstanding of humility.

Humility in its essence is when we give the Other the gift of our unattached authenticity. Unabashedly SELF. It's releasing ourself, our ideas of our self. We drop the truth of ourselves into the living current of the now. It is a dedication to being a channel of our own personal Truth and offering this as a gift, in love, thereby giving others the permission to be themselves.

Many people call this being "down to earth".

Can you feel how different this is from being small? Can you feel how BIG and LOUD this can be? It can be shocking, room-boom laughing, face-splitting grinning, twirl or cry or fume.

It it's a courageous act of trust that we ourselves are perfect in this moment exactly as we are.

This is You Be You.

We're drawn to this because we sense it, the power in it. We sense the closeness of those who are fully themselves to the Divine.

It is literally powerful.

YOU BE YOU. 💥❤🎆

Happy Independence Day.

07/01/2021

Love yourself into the person you want to be.

09/15/2020

Feeling lonely and isolated defined the first half of my life, excepting a short glorious period when I lived in a co-op and friends were literally outside my door at dawn ready to strap on roller skates to do tricks in the parking lot, only to fall, delightfully exhausted, after a full day of laughter and hard play into a soft bed of grass to watch the sky darken around glittering stars, hands holding and promises to meet again in the morning.

The contrast of that memory with the cold isolation and friendlessness of a new home and a new school was sharp, like carrying around a heart full of broken glass. The longing for the return to that utopia became my most constant companion, along with an ever-increasing drone of an inner voice that spoke of doubt that I was even worthy of friendship, or maybe even of life.

Many people benefit from getting out and doing charity work of some kind, serving food in soup kitchens, helping build homes for families that need them. I always wanted to do these things. Or maybe I wanted to want to.

Most often though, I just tortured myself with my seeming inability to get myself out the door.

Then I discovered the weirdest trick.

If I hadn't been so desperately lonely and so utterly friendless, I might never have applied myself to it with all of the fervor of a hungry child with a fist full of Plumpy'Nut.

There is this French movie, all black and white and long artful shots set in Berlin, called Wings of Desire in which we get to see the world of humans through the lens of angels invisible to us who nevertheless care deeply about humans. These angels constantly seek to alleviate our suffering by lending the peace of their presence to us in times of pain, unseen, unheard. Secretly. In this, much like its American counterpart, City of Angels, one angel takes a very particular interest in a single human being.

One night, feeling like my veins were shot through from my skull to my knees with the broken glass angst of loneliness, I threw disbelief into the trash bin with my hopes for friendship and I imagined that just such an angel had taken a particular interest in me. I imagine it was laying right next to me, wrapping its arms and wings around my fetal shape while I sobbed into my knees. I imagined that it was beaming beneficent love that cared not whether I was of value to humanity, what horrific mistakes I'd made, whether I could feel an ounce of love myself. I imagined as if my life depended on it until I could almost FEEL the weight of the wing along my arm and the breath of the angel at my back, the rumble of his voice humming comforting words into my hair. Doubt crept in but then I reminded myself that it didn't matter if it was real. Only that I got to feel it, the relief, the connection. I fell asleep like that.

The next morning I awoke a little less lonely than the day before.

So I did it again another night. And another, until, admittedly my imagined relationship with a fictional angel became almost as real as a person... only better because this angel didn't argue about putting the dishes away or replacing the toilet paper roll. or expect me to make small talk when I was exhausted.

One day, years later, I realized: I don't feel lonely anymore, almost ever. And if I do? Even though it still seems a little weird, I'll still call on my angel for a catchup cuddle.

08/20/2020

I was reminded recently of Slomo. Many of us now are asking ourselves, is this the way it has to be? What do I want?

Slomo found one answer. What's yours?

Dr. John Kitchin quit a medical career to pursue his passion: skating along the boardwalk of San Diego's Pacific Beach. He calls himself "Slomo." Subscribe o...

08/04/2020

New ideas for your radical self care routine. ♥️

HAPPINESS CHEMICALS AND HOW TO HACK THEM 👇☀️

08/01/2020

The other day I caught myself coaching my 7 year old about her tone. Her grandmother hadn’t been listening to A about how A wanted Grandma to play with her Elementals. Grandma had been making that rasping noise, for the third time, that sets A’s teeth on edge. She’d asked her not to do it and she was doing it anyway. A’s tone became demanding and rude, and I’d started lecturing her. “Honey, ”I’d said, “We can hear what you’re saying better if your tone —” I stopped mid sentence. It hit me: this one way that it starts, the pathology of whiteness.

Still my system automatically regards these behaviors as a challenge to “authority”, as disrespect, defiance, lawlessness. I notice panic rise. I feel as if THIS is when it begins: I’m losing my power over this situation (“I must dominate it until it's under control again.”), over my kid, over the horrific future I fear for her if she continues to behave so horribly. I imagine her alone, friendless, addicted, suicidal. It feels like I MUST dominate.

Then I remember that we’ve been through this before. Each time I dominate for control, her behavior gets WORSE. She “misbehaves” more often, with greater emphasis. In one particularly contentious period she got so angry that her 5 year old eyes were like little half moons of fury, her face red, teeth bared and fists balled.


Incidentally she’s quite a beauty when she’s angry, my little freyja. She’s gonna knock the socks of someone one day. But I digress.

We’ve been through this before. The key is always: Hear her, deeply. Let her know she’s heard. And, counterintuitively, give her more power. It's terrifying, giving a child more power when it seems for all the world like she’ll use it to tear down beautiful things. But the results are always the same. Her system calms. Her tone resolves on its own. She cooperates and works harder in the household. She has genuine respect for the boundaries, not just right then, but for a long, long time.


So I dropped the tone policing. And let her know I was ready to hear her.


I find myself reflecting. We often think the scared or angry little person inside of our own self doesn't deserve a voice, in part, I believe, because in our culture we have this prohibition on acting out certain kinds of feelings. We call them inappropriate, wrong. Not fit for public consumption.

So we silence them even within ourselves.

And then those denied, oppressed, suppressed parts act out.

Impelling us to take offense, for example, when others’ tone is off.

I start thinking: how can I extend this same advocacy and care to those parts of myself that I've been ashamed of? When I'm feeling "locked out of paradise" and lonely or unheard, how can I step up my generosity with myself, give space and kindness that I crave? Is it possible?

Giving space and kindness to my inner sulking and tantrums wasn't easy, not at first. But as I keep doing it over and over, I find more and more space and love for the scared little girl in me, or the girl that's afraid she doesn't have a strong enough voice to keep people from crossing grave boundaries. As I do so, my voice is stronger, and my need for rage and fear are waning, and I’m experiencing peace and confidence more and more often. I’m feeling greater agency in my world and more and more like I have the internal resources to step out and start contributing more widely to my community.

How can you be the change you want to see?