Untamable Self with Karissa Barbados

The other day, I was watching IG stories and came across a story posted by one of my mentors/favorite people to follow saying she was a bit down and needed ideas of how to add more fun to her life.

I immediately lit up 🔥 and became flooded with ideas because you all know that's right up my alley.

As an Enneagram 7 and a Yellow on the Color Code Personality profile; if it's not fun, I'm not doing it. 😝

But I totally wasn't expecting anyone to post about it, so blatantly.
Usually when people look for support, it's in areas such as:

💵 Money Making
🏃🏽‍♀️Health
💔 Relationships
💻 Business

I literally teach people how to be happier, how to add more spark to their personality, how to give more pizazz to their personal brand, how to ...

But with the amount of people I've had the pleasure of supporting me it through my mentorship, book, online content, podcast, or in the DM's; I know that despite my expertise being less mainstream than others, it's still very much in demand.

The same goes for your thing, whatever that may be.

You're needed, boo. Remember that.

💥🦋🤟🏽💙💥

But if you do it right, once is enough.

💥🦋🤟🏽💙💥

✨SAVE THIS POST✨

A question that we're all asked nearly every day as it tends to be a good conversation starter, is:

How are you?

And while I am a firm proponent of telling people how you *actually* are, instead of the conditioned response of "I'm good, thanks"; there's a response that I hear occasionally that I had never heard until a few years ago.

"Living the dream"

Although this is a witty response and a nice way of keeping the mood lighthearted, I personally could never use it unless I meant it with 💯% authenticity.
Living [my] dream(s) is not something I take lightly.

And yet, I know that when most people say it, they don't mean it in the least bit.

..To make it even more heartbreaking, we all have multiple dreams.
Dreams of:
📍 Where we want to live
🏅 Goals we want to accomplish
🗺 Places we want to travel to
💭Businesses we want to start

..And dare I say MOST people aren't living even 1️⃣ of them.

A typical life for most people is:
* Living in a cold climate that gives them seasonal depression in a suburb that's "ok"
* Working a job they don't want & living for the weekends
&
* Vacationing 1-2x per year (if that) in a place that is convenient enough to fit into the amount of PTO they're allotted

And I have to wonder why...

Like, we get ONE shot at creating the life of our dreams. Do you really want to squander it?

Though I'm nowhere near what I know to be my highest potential, I can confidently say I have brought many of my dreams to life.
✈️ Moving to LA
📖 Writing a book (working on my second)
📻 Having my own radio show (podcast)
📆 Having a business that allows me to set my own schedule

There are plenty of things I have yet to make happen that will likely take a while, but I can confidently say that I am well on my way.

My hope for you, is that you can say the same thing. If not now, in the near future.
Start now.

You get one lifetime to create the life you want, don't treat it like a dress rehearsal.

for my top tips on how to start building your dream life.

Stuck in a rut? I feel that bae, and I gotchu.

The first thing you need to do is identify how you're currently feeling and how you want to feel at this point in time.

This can mean anything, from how you want to feel this week or how you want to feel in this stage of your life.

When you pinpoint these things, you'll have a better idea of what actions to take to get you out of this groove.

Want to turn up the heat? 🔥
Find a see-through outfit and your favorite color lingerie and wear it out to all of the places you frequent.
Then, turn off all of the lights in your apartment, decorate with candles and rose petals, and take pictures 📸 of yourself

Done with all the same routines? 😑
Sign up for a new class or give yourself a new experience and have no expectations.
* Tightrope
* Float tank
* Get a group of your friends together and go skinny dipping in the ocean 🌊 at 11:11

Need a bit more adrenaline in your life?
* Track down someone you wanted to be like when you were younger and tell them what you thought of them
* Do one thing that scares you a day for 30 days
* Go up to that guy at the lounge and ask him to take a picture with you.

Want to rework your image?
Experiment with different looks...
* Cosplay
* Flower petals on your face
* Dress up as you alter ego

Make sure to document these looks, they will make fantastic brand/social media photos.

I'm totally over the humdrum advice of "get outside" or "take a different route on your commute". If you *really* want to get out of feeling stagnant, you need to do things that are a bit unusual.

I dare you to try your own version of some of these things and then tell me you're not activated. 😉💥💙🤟🏽🦋

Share with someone who needs to hear this!

xoxo,

Karissa

Stuck in a rut? I feel that bae, and I gotchu.

The first thing you need to do is identify how you're currently feeling and how you want to feel at this point in time.

This can mean anything, from how you want to feel this week or how you want to feel in this stage of your life.

When you pinpoint these things, you'll have a better idea of what actions to take to get you out of this groove.

Want to turn up the heat? 🔥
Find a see-through outfit and your favorite color lingerie and wear it out to all of the places you frequent.
Then, turn off all of the lights in your apartment, decorate with candles and rose petals, and take pictures 📸 of yourself

Done with all the same routines? 😑
Sign up for a new class or give yourself a new experience and have no expectations.
* Tightrope
* Float tank
* Get a group of your friends together and go skinny dipping in the ocean 🌊 at 11:11

Need a bit more adrenaline in your life?
* Track down someone you wanted to be like when you were younger and tell them what you thought of them
* Do one thing that scares you a day for 30 days
* Go up to that guy at the lounge and ask him to take a picture with you.

Want to rework your image?
Experiment with different looks...
* Cosplay
* Flower petals on your face
* Dress up as you alter ego

Make sure to document these looks, they will make fantastic brand/social media photos.

I'm totally over the humdrum advice of "get outside" or "take a different route on your commute". If you *really* want to get out of feeling stagnant, you need to do things that are a bit unusual.

I dare you to try your own version of some of these things and then tell me you're not activated. 😉💥💙🤟🏽🦋

(Share with someone who needs to hear this)

xoxo,

Karissa

Not every chapter in life is going to look the same, but that's what keeps life both exciting and interesting.


For real, what fun is anything without a bit of mystery?

One of the best quotes to live by and remember when a new chapter emerges is

"Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life".

To truly experience fulfillment and vitality for life, you have to determine what you need and what you need to do in order to see those things through.

Because we are multifaceted, and all have many things that we want, some chapters are going to be more social, focused, eventful, lucrative, elevating than others.

Some chapters are about learning, others are about executing, others are about experiencing.

🦋My last two years in college involved a ton of dinners and drinks with friends. It was always .

🦋The year I wrote my first book (2018) was all about creating. I literally did nothing but produce content for
months.

🦋Right now is all about becoming. 2022 will be all about implementing all of this becoming into my brand and lifestyle.

🦋Future times I'm sure will be all about travel, influence, health, building...

It's all supposed to happen.

Different goals mean different times. This means different actions, habits, variations of living.

If we want numerous things, we have to be willing to make temporary adjustments.

Through it all, just remember:

Chapters don't have to look the same to be equally amazing.

☺️🦋🔥💙🤟🏽

✨IF SOMEONE ASKED YOU WHAT YOUR PERSONAL ETHICS ARE (some people call them core values) WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO TELL THEM W/O THINKING ABOUT IT✨

To live your best, happiest, most fulfilling life...a life of your design, you need to know your own ideals.

When you do, it's much easier to make and back your decisions; and also gives you a starting point when you want to make changes or create a different reality for yourself.

In order to live your best life, you have to know yourself- and well.

While compliments feel good no matter what they are, I recently realized that the best compliment I ever receive is when people tell me I'm kind.

Especially strangers. When people say I'm: nice, compassionate, generous, cordial, accepting, literally nothing can beat it.

Nothing about how I look, what I've accomplished, what I've experienced, or anything in between could top it.

This is because
🦋benevolence🦋 is my number one value.

The only people I want to be around are kind people.

If there's anything I want to be known/remembered for, it's my kindness.

As I was thinking about it, it reminded me of that one time 7 yrs. ago when I first moved to LA, a little girl came into the dept. store I worked at & wanted to give the first person she saw (me) a rose from her garden (pictured).

My four following values are:

1. Autonomy - I have to be able to do things on my own time

2. Novelty - I want to experience everything at least once

3. Excitement - I refuse to be bored or boring

4. Self-Expression - I've always been different & I'm here to stand out.

But first, benevolence...kindness. There's nothing in the world I would put above that.

What are your personal ethics?

Does anyone else's heartbeat change the minute you get a matchless new idea 💡?

Like for real, there's nothing better than picturing something in your head and then it coming to life exactly how you anticipated it would.

Coming 🔜. Follow to stay tuned...✌🏽🦋🤟🏼💙💥

✨WHAT AGE DID YOU REALIZE THAT THE MAJORITY OF WHAT YOU WERE TAUGHT GROWING UP WAS EITHER INACCURATE OR INCOMPLETE?✨

If you've worked with me or have seen my content across multiple platforms, you know that I am all about letting go of society's expectations.

Not because I'm a rebel per se, but because I question everything. And if I can't justify something, I don't go along with it, even if it is considered the norm.

IMO, most of the things we're collectively taught growing up are actually the opposite of what we need to know.
* To be successful
* To be happy
* To live the life we ✨actually✨ want

Either that or we're only taught one part of the equation without ever being educated that there's another side to it.

If you're a millennial or older, you definitely had your fair share of "authoritative" people telling you not to ask "what if" in your younger years.

And while that can be applicable in situations when you have anxiety about what's to come in the future, it's only half the story.

* What if there was no such thing as a right or wrong decision and they were all just good decisions?

* What if pursuing the hobby you didn't get to try when you were a kid turns your life into something beyond your wildest imagination?

* What if the vacation that sucked was also where you met your soulmate?

* What if the guy who shattered your heart calls you and says he hasn't stopped thinking about you and wants to see you again?

Ya feel me bae?

Love you, madly

💙Karissa

✨WHAT IF NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED, YOU DECIDED YOU WOULD LOVE YOURSELF?✨

Let me give you the backstory...

Back in 2016, I heard one of the most influential statements I've ever come by, on a podcast.

It was so simple, yet so profound:
"What you want is just as important as what someone else wants."

The host was explaining why you don't have to feel guilty for telling someone "no".

Recently, I have had the same realization about something else...
What you *think* is just as (if not more) important as what someone else thinks.

If there's anything that's inevitable in this lifetime, it's hurt. Sometimes it's caused by others, other times it's when a situation doesn't turn out the way we envisioned.

* You make a decision that one of your closest people gets

* You get broken up with by someone who was head-over-heels in love with you, literally yesterday

What typically happens in these situations is that we question our choices or begin to think we aren't good enough...

But when we do this, we are automatically giving someone else's opinion more validity than our own.

Why is what *they* think more important than what *you* think?
You are just as capable and just as much of a limited edition as they are.

If you are confident in your decisions and know that you're amazing, who's to say that *they* aren't the one who has it all backwards?

On a similar note, the common question we hear time and time again when being encouraged to go after the things we want is:
"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

And while that's a commendable thought, the reality is that things fall through all the time.

* Your business doesn't take off the way you thought it would

* You plan what you think will be the trip of a lifetime and it turns out to be a total wash

But just because things didn't pan out doesn't mean you should have any regrets.
If you didn't try, you would never know and always wonder.

So what if instead, you committed to loving yourself no matter what...how much would your life change?

✨Adopt this mentality and you'll never have to worry about making the wrong decision.✨





Of course some decisions prove to be better than others, but what if, just what if instead of "right" or "wrong", they were all just good decisions.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten came the day after I moved LA in June of 2014.


I was going to make a 🔑 to get into my new apartment and the owner of the key store had her parrot 🦜with her.
She told me the story of how she rescued him and then asked me if I wanted to hold him, warning me that he may bite and if he did, I may bleed.


I told her, I did, but was too scared to get bitten. She said, “You should do one thing that scares you a day”. So I took a deep breath, reached my arm out, and he perched on my arm without biting (swipe to see). Now every time I see a parrot in Venice or Santa Monica (which is quite often), I go straight up and ask to hold them.


The next time I remembered this advice was the following summer when I went to Universal Studios and went on the Jurassic Park ride, 12 years after I did the first time and had been too scared to ride a roller coaster or water ride since. It was the best decision I could have made, b/c now I go every time I have the chance.


Why do I tell you this story? Because to be successful in your business, you have to get used to doing things that make you nervous, scared, intimidated, etc.
There will be uncomfortable conversations, nerve-wracking opportunities, and shots in the dark that have to happen in order to grow and expand.
The best way to overcome the fear is to get used to the feeling of being scared so that it begins to lose its power over you.
You don’t want to say no to the opportunity of a lifetime such as a speaking engagement, collaboration, or retreat because you were too scared to do it.
You are too powerful and people need your gifts, so start small.
I challenge you to try and do one thing that scares you a day or at least every time you have the opportunity.
What you’ll realize is that nothing is ever as scary as your mind makes it out to be.