The STEM Thrive Guides

If you’re involved in any DEI efforts in your school or organization, how many green flags vs red flags do you see?

What do you do when you feel like you’re not being valued or seen for your expertise at work?

When I read ‘Lean In’ I felt like it was good advice: sit at the table, speak up, watch your speaking tone, etc.

However, as I learned more about bias and prejudices, I realized this advice left out a crucial message. It left out the underlying reason why we feel pressure to change our behavior in order to “fit in” or be taken seriously.

The reason why we feel we must change ourselves to fit in is rooted in oppression. Paolo Freire and bell hooks teach about this in their books. Basically, the oppressed feel like they need to become the oppressor to be liberated, yet the oppressor is not liberated either.

In ‘Lean’ In we are told to adopt oppressor characteristics in order to succeed, and mask our qualities (like femininity). This is true for everyone, not just those marginalized by prejudices like racism and/or sexism.

What I’ve learned is that the best thing I can do if I feel undervalued, disrespected, and invisible is not to try to change the minds of people who are treating me that way, but to focus my energy on supportive relationships and seek environments that will support my growth 🌱

12 YEARS ⏳ That’s how long it took me to figure out a process to resolve instances when I’m harassed.

⚡️I call this process: The Resilience Mindset and The Reporting Framework

🔑 The key is to center your wellness through the resolution process
(see the Resilience Mindset- you have the right to feel safe & comfortable at work & school).

Now I:
💡Never worry about being harassed at work
💡Spend my precious time and energy nurturing supportive relationships
💡Enforce my boundaries by centering my self-care at work/school

I am at peace knowing that when I am a target of harassment (because it will happen again), I can resolve it.
I will be okay. 💖

I wish everyone this peace because it breaks down those limiting beliefs & allows you to soar 🚀 💫

Follow link in bio for these resources on The Resilience Mindset & Reporting Framework on the website 🌐

Feeling spicy 🌶

All the ways companies, organizations, and institutions gaslight us into thinking there is something wrong with us is RIDICULOUS.

They’re like that toxic ex that blamed us for their own issues.

The truth is: it’s not us, it’s the biased and discriminatory systems that need to change.

⚡️The first step toward change is a transparent route for conflict resolution without retaliation. This includes a path for reporting & resolving harassment and discrimination by centering the target, and enforcing whistleblower protections.

More details on each of these ways we are gaslighted are available in Chapter 7 of The Guide to Navigating Harassment on stemthriveguides.com. Follow link in bio 🌐

Can you think of any other ways we are gaslighted?

It’s alarming that I’ve met so many people who have tried reporting harassment in their university or company only to find they aren’t supported (or worse, they’re gaslighted or retaliated against).

I found out the hard way that my university did not support students in resolving harassment-related issues. & I don’t want anyone else to face the same realization when it’s too late.

👉Before you report through HR or your university services, go through the Resilience Mindset & Reporting Framework in Chapter 5 of The Guide to Navigating Harassment at Work and School (follow link in bio to the website). Also, check out my “secret tips”, also in Chapter 5 that can help you resolve the issue if or when you do report.

I’m not done with the surprises yet…
To ensure these guides supporting professional development for the next generation of innovators are ACCESSIBLE, I put all the guide videos on YouTube.

Yep. All of them.

Follow link in bio to check out The STEM Thrive Guides YouTube channel 🎉🎉🎉

Be sure to subscribe to show your support, and be informed when more resources are added 😊👍

Tip: Start with the playlist on the channel, and watch Ch.5 videos for some 🫖 & validation of your experiences.

Follow link in bio to the website to access what I’m calling The STEM Thrive Guides 2.0! 🎉

After reflecting on the mission of , I decided it would be wayyyyyy better to make the courses fully accessible, so they are all FREE!

All I ask is that you share them with anyone & everyone so that they reach those who need them most!

The available guides are:
1. Guide to Navigating Harassment at Work & School
2. Guide to Internship Success

Enjoy! 💖 & Happy New Year 🎆

Do you have any questions you make sure you ask to get to know your teammates?
✨Share them in the comments!

If you ever use these questions, I’d love to know 😊

You deserve and have the right to feel safe and comfortable at work and school 💖

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but, if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s your moment to practice:
👉self care
👉self love
👉self advocacy

Staying in that mindset of knowing
you deserve to feel safe and comfortable at work and school is the first
and 🌟most important🌟 guiding principle of navigating bias, harassment, and discrimination.

Nobody knows what YOU need to feel safe and comfortable as much as you do.
And a resolution to any situation is not truly reached until YOU feel safe and comfortable once again.

Anything short of that metric or benchmark does not mean the situation is resolved.

If you need help navigating any difficult situation involving inappropriate behavior at work or school, you’re welcome to DM me for help/support/resources 😊💖

Here’s a pro-tip: Test your company or organization’s HR (or equivalent office)! 👏

This is a great way to see how supported you’ll be in the case you are harassed without coming across as hyper-vigilant, or like you’ll be the one causing problems in your work environment.

I stumbled upon this “test” accidentally when I experienced some behavior I wasn’t sure was appropriate or not. I ended up calling HR, asking if the situation I was in was bullying (when it was borderline), and hearing what they had to say.

I’m happy to report that in my experience of doing this:
👉I was taken seriously by HR.
👉The behavior I experienced was not really bullying, but it still was not appropriate.
👉HR took action by having a talk with this person’s boss, who then would have a talk with the person who behaved questionably toward me.

🙌🙌🙌
I felt so relieved having just asked about this since the behavior was making me uncomfortable and distracting me from my job.

The alternative was that I could have been gaslighted, not taken seriously, or dismissed 🚩 definitely red flags of a toxic work environment 🚩. I’m so glad that was not the case!

I share more about this story (as well as more pro-tips like this) in Chapter 5 of the STEM Thrive Guides course for grad students, professionals, and undergrads. 😊💖

Short answer: yes.

Those “jokes” that are rooted in sexism, racism, homophobia, and other prejudices ARE harassment.

Studies have shown that both men and women too often prefer female-disparaging humor, and that women, by allowing themselves to be a source of humor for the dominant group, manifest internalized sexism and demonstrate their loyalty to the dominant group.
(No laughing matter: Women’s verbal and nonverbal reactions to sexist humor (2008))

🔑 In my experience, when colleagues are using sexist humor around me it’s because:

1. They don’t know what else to say to me and are relying on stereotypes, trying to bond with me over “jokes” they think I can relate to.🥴
2. They are insecure in their masculinity/femininity/workplace skills, and use these “jokes” to put me down, own the space, and try to lift themselves up.
3. They are using me as a object to grow stronger relationships with other men in the workplace, throwing me under the bus to build rapport with others.

All people are socialized to use this inappropriate “humor”, and it is reinforced very strongly in society by calling people “sensitive” or “snowflakes” who call out the harassment for what it is.

👉If you’d like to learn how to navigate this form of harassment, DM me and I will provide you with more information and resources 😊

You deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your school or workplace 💖

Do you know the difference between harassment and discrimination?

Knowing your local legal protections is important and empowering 💪

When you are able to recognize illegal behavior, you can better document and report such violations, protecting yourself, your colleagues, and coworkers from abuse.

✨Knowing your legal protections inside and out empowers you to seek a resolution to ensure you remain safe and comfortable at work or school.✨