Uncontrollably Me, Tracy Holemeyer - Somatic Practitioner

“When our ground is shaking, how do we become the ground? We must catch our breath so it becomes the breath of the world.” - Prentiss Hemphill

We must be so intentional with our care and tending of self and each other. The terror and threat is real and it’s also being used as a weapon to collapse us. Take the breaks you need not as anything other than a great act of defiance, an unwillingness to give up, evidence of how much you/we matter. Keep showing up and tending in.

What are you adding to this list? 👇 drop it below!

Go gently. Fiercely.

it can feel like a fight
everyday
to not be swallowed up
by the immensity of it all
but I’m beginning
to believe in hope
not as trivial
some floaty thing to
try and grab like air
but as a discipline
an action
a commitment
a willingness
hope as possibility
and humbly remembering
hearing a teacher (JLK) say
we must continue
regardless of hope

guided by mystery

When our ability to defend, escape, deactivate, freeze, or process through our experience is thwarted it can get lodged in the Soma. Our brilliant systems will continue to attempt to bring us through to completion so we can rest and digest/metabolize/recover.

However, that repetition can create patterns sub or unconsciously that continue to run long after the (real or perceived) threat/challenge/activation/overwhelm is gone. It doesn’t see similar, only same. On repeat.

Some common patterns/symptoms/side-effects are difficulty with trust, hyper vigilance, perfectionism, hyper independence, anxiety, depression, numbness or frozen-ness, shame, busyness, difficulty with boundaries, codependency, helplessness, reacting instead of responding, etc.

The body knows what to do, it is typically our environment, beliefs, societal standards, comparison and lack of modeling that can get in our way. But it’s never too late. Body awareness and relationship building begin to allow us to uncover what has been stored. With that access we can begin to use soma-centered (includes mind) techniques to disrupt the pattern, process what was left incomplete, and heal.

Relational wounds cannot be healed alone. They must be approached and held interdependently.

None of your responses are defective. They may not seem very mature or feel helpful especially if these strategies were deployed as children, but they are not defective. Most of our responses are completely appropriate in the moment and context of the experience, particularly uncontained experience and trauma. We can help these strategies develop and mature into competencies though, with effort, intention, commitment, and practice.

I’m here to help. 🙏 Go gently. 💛

The purity of Love is quite simple, not to say it doesn’t take effort, and it will save us if we let it be the guide. Everything else might be Cathexis - let’s not confuse (read convolute) Love.

Go gently, lovers.

I wish generosity was the standard. I wish giving wasn’t something to applaud. I wish we could remember (sooner) that community offers everything we need.

We feed our vitality by honoring and giving what we came here with. I hold in reverence those who extend and help. Thank you for giving your gift.
Take care of yourself. Take care of each other. Go gently.

I will be as available as possible. Creating space for you to be held, seen, heard, to process, to grieve, to begin to tend and mend.

There is an addiction to comfort we must dettach from. Being uncomfortable does not mean being unsafe.

Sweet weekend trip to see my kiddo in Austin. Enjoyed the qt and missing him already. 🤍

TEN!
She’s 10 today and I’m feeling a way. She has a fire in her spirit, a sweetness in her soul, sass in her wit, love in her heart, joy in her bones, and intelligence in her mind. She is so much more and all that is yet to come. Watching her BE is a gift I can’t ever repay.
So grateful to be called her Aunt.

Dear Emmy Leigh,

Never forget that I love you. I hope you believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed and life gets tough, always remember that if there is no rain, there are no flowers. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know. I can’t promise to be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise to love you for the rest of mine.

Happy birthday girl! I love you! I’m proud of you!

Humbled and hopeful to offer this space of support and communal care alongside (who created this opportunity) and 🤗

Just $15 per month for 4 weekly live breathwork sessions.

If you’re looking for connection, embodiment, somatics I hope you’ll join us! The link is in my bio.

Take care of each other and go gently.

“The eyes of the future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time. They are kneeling with hands clasped that we might act with restraint, that we might leave room for the life that is destined to come. To protect what is wild is to protect what is gentle. Perhaps the wilderness we fear is the pause between our own heartbeats, the silent space that says we live only by grace. Wilderness lives by this same grace. Wild mercy is in our hands.”

What have we come here to do?
Who will be impacted by this?
What is our legacy?
How will we collectively and communally heal?
What medicine is unique to your expression?
Will you open to the mystery?

Samhain (tomorrow 11/1) marks the beginning of the turn toward the otherworld, to go within, to relate to the darkness and shadows, to gestate the mystery which is asking to be birthed into this world. Remember those who’ve come and gone before, remember your wholeness and holiness, remember the mycelial web you belong to. These are the holy days.

11/23 we gather in sacred community to be led by story, to open to paths that while may be less traveled are not untended, to share and shoulder the burdens of predator and usher in vitality.
We will move
We will sound
We will breathe
We will imagine
We will remember

Will you join us?

Stay close to your wild.

I believe this final step invites us into returning communally to one another with our individual and unique expression of Soul.

We are not “done” by or through liberating ourselves, but are invited to steward liberation into our communities. Into sacred spaces. Into and for one another to be generative.

On 11/23 we begin the first session in a series of exploring these concepts by embodying them through our and the collective Soma/Soul.

Your flavor is needed in the cauldron we are creating to nourish us all, will you answer the wild?