Transform Your 20s With Kay Bagel - Women's Personal Growth and Lifestyle

The relationship that you have with yourself is the most important relationship that you’ll have in your entire life. For this reason, building up your self-worth and self-esteem is imperative to your success and happiness in life. In order to do this, you have to start doing the things you need to do, instead of just doing the things you want to do. It may sound contradictory but only doing the easy things that you want to do in life won’t make your life easy, it will actually make your life hard in the long run. What actually makes your life easier is doing the hard things that you need to do, like eating healthy foods often, working out on a consistent basis, and keeping your home clean.

The periods of time when I practiced self-discipline constantly and consistently were the times where I felt the best in my life. This is because when I started to practice discipline, I built more self-confidence in myself to overcome difficulties no matter how uncomfortable they became. This is why building a stable foundation with yourself can do wonders for your own success and fulfillment in life. 💖

One of the most important ideas to remember about your mind and consciousness, if you want to prioritize being happy, is that your reality is always now. Your past is a memory and your future is just a hypothetical thought. When we spend too much time thinking about the past or the future, we are spending too much time in our minds. This is why the practice of presence is crucial to living a happy life. When we can remove ourselves from our patterns of thought and just live in our body in the present moment, we can find fulfillment in the now.

I’m not saying you should never think about your past or plan for your future, rather you should consider taking more time to be present in the moment. 💖

If you're a woman who has been conditioned to be a high-achiever like myself, you likely feel guilty when you take a day off or choose to do activities/tasks that aren't considered "productive". This is because, we were trained from a young age to derive our worth from our achievements. Therefore, if we're not constantly achieving something or being "productive", we don't feel "worthy" or satisfied with our lives.

On the contrary, it can actually be extremely healing for a high-achiever to do activities that aren't perceived as "productive" but fulfill their soul, instead. When we take time to rest and/or do things just for the sake of enjoyment, we can start to heal the part of us that doesn't feel worthy for just existing. If you haven't already find a passion or hobby that you enjoy, and take some time to indulge in it. Life is so much more than just career and achievements. 💖

Today, I want to discuss somatic awareness. This practice involves directing your attention to the sensations in your body that are associated with feelings, memories, and experiences. Our bodies store past experiences and unprocessed feelings that can manifest as physical conditions such as an upset stomach, migraines, hormone imbalances and other medical conditions.

For this reason, processing your emotions is important for achieving a healthy mindset. Scientists have found that it only takes 90 seconds to feel an emotion before it moves through the body. Often times, if you're still feeling an emotion after 90 seconds have past, you likely have a story in your head about what that feeling is. This can cause you to be stuck in a loop. To avoid this, we practice somatic meditation and awareness. 💖

An important lesson I learned in my 20’s is that success requires sacrifice. That dream house and car that you desire requires hard-earned money. A clean and comfortable home requires hours of maintenance on a consistent basis. A healthy mind and body requires you to practice mindfulness and meditation, and also exercise regularly.

Once you realize that the success you desire is on the other side of sacrifice, taking the required actions to achieve your goals are that much easier. I like to think of the “sacrifices” I make such as working to make an income, cleaning my home and personal spaces, working out consistently, etc. as favors I’m doing for my future-self. 💖

I'm so excited to share my new book "The Feminine Empowerment Plan" with the world! ❤️‍🔥 Learning about personal growth truly changed my life for the better. I hope that with this book I can guide other young women who are starting their personal growth journey into utilizing the growth mindset, shifting into their feminine energy, and attracting success and fulfillment into their lives.

Success is, without a doubt, how you define it; it's subjective. Some people define success as being rich, and those people will do whatever it takes to get rich; even at the expense of their values, their well-being, and their relationships. However, personally, I view success as having a fulfilling career, meaningful relationships, and as many happy experiences as I can possibly have. Of course money comes into play, as we live in a capitalistic society. But we should instead view money as a means to an end, not as the end goal itself.

Therefore, if you truly want to live a happy and satisfying life, try taking advice from happy people instead of rich people. 💖

1. Physical Rest - at least 7 hours of sleep, practice yoga, get a massage
2. Mental Rest - take short breaks throughout your work day (recommended every 2 hours of quality work time)
3. Sensory Rest - unplug from electronic devices at the end of the day
4. Creative Rest - listen to music, take in the beauty of nature
5. Emotional Rest - be authentic, cut back on people pleasing
6. Social Rest - schedule alone time
7. Spiritual Rest - pray, meditate

As much as we try to, we can not bestow self-awareness onto other people. You will never be able to force someone to see things your way or realize how they've made you feel. Self-awareness is something one must chose to do on their own. Therefore, instead of trying to control other people, be mindful of how you act and react to situations. People can only act to their level of self-awareness. 💖

When you shift your energy from self-doubt and inadequacy to self-belief and confidence, you shift the opportunities and experiences that you attract. Say these 3 affirmations in the mirror every morning for one week and see how your energy changes.

1. I'm a magnet for creative people, experiences, and opportunities.
2. People want to be with me, be around me, and be seen with me because I'm powerful, smart, sexy, and fun.
3. I bring light, joy, and positive energy wherever I go.

💖💖💖

Everything is a projection of self. This means that the person you smiled at who didn't smile back doesn't hate you, they just might not be having as great of a day as you. Likewise, that friend who didn't call you on your birthday may still hold a lot of love and care for you. They may just be going through something that prevents them from being present or reaching out to you.

This doesn't mean that we don't hold people accountable for how they make us feel. Rather we choose to take a more compassionate approach and allow ourselves to forgive other people not just for them, but for ourselves. When you stop perceiving every little negative interaction as a personal attack, you can actually start living a life true to your own values and experience more joy. 💖

The way we speak to ourselves and other people can influence our attitudes and behaviors towards every aspect of our lives. For this reason, being intentional about what we say can make a huge impact on our general mindset.

For example, instead of saying "I have to work out today", saying "I get to work out today" reframes the task of working out from being a chore to an exciting experience in which you get to take care of yourself and maintain your physical health. Utilizing positive language and affirmations every single day can improve your self-esteem which, in turn, will help you become more successful in your relationships and career. 💖