Building Intimacy with Julie Wall

01/29/2026

Sarcasm can be funny…Until it isn’t.

For my birthday, my husband surprised me with something thoughtful. A gift I'd typically love, just not in the season I’m in right now.

What did he book?
An escape room. 🧩

I’ve been solving complex puzzles at work all day, every day, while also navigating family stuff and real life. So I joked...

“My one day off from figuring things out and I’m locked in a room solving a puzzle…This is how people end up in divorce court."

I laughed.
He didn’t.

And here’s the truth I had to sit with...

Even though I meant it as a joke, it landed like I overlooked his effort. He never said anything but I could tell so I apologized.

And, as I suspected, to him, it sounded ungrateful. And he was right. It did.

🛡 Sarcasm can be a shield.
💥A release valve.
🫥 A coping mechanism when we’re tired or overwhelmed.

But in relationships, it can quietly invalidate effort, intention, and care. Even when love is present on both sides.

This wasn’t about an escape room.
It was about impact vs. intent.

I didn’t overlook his effort in my heart, but my words suggested otherwise. And that matters.

So here’s your reminder (and mine):
😂 Humor is great.
😉 Playfulness is healthy.
💗 But appreciation should never get lost in the punchline.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can simply say is, "Thank you."

So, thank you Hubby. I can't wait to solve a puzzle with you on Sunday. 💗

01/25/2026

We all do it.
We all have bodies.
We all experience desire, curiosity, pleasure, and connection.

So why is there so much shame around it. Especially in the bedroom?

Most of us weren’t taught how to talk about intimacy in a healthy, honest way. We were taught silence. Jokes. Warnings. Fear. Or the idea that something is only “okay” if it looks a certain way, happens in a certain order, or stays completely privae. Even from ourselves.
Shame thrives where education is missing.
It shows up as:
- Feeling “weird” for wanting what you want
- Not knowing how to ask for what feels good
- Believing your needs are too much or not normal
- Disconnecting from your body instead of listening to it

Intimacy isn’t something to be embarrassed about. It’s a human experience. And when we stop pretending we’re the only ones with questions, insecurities, or curiosity, shame starts to lose its grip.

- You’re not broken.
- You’re not alone.
- And you’re not wrong for wanting to understand yourself better.

Healthy intimacy starts with honest conversations. First with yourself, and then with others who feel safe.

If this brought something up for you, I’d love to hear it. Comment, DM me, or simply sit with the question: What would change if shame wasn’t driving the conversation?

You don’t have to figure it out alone. 💗

01/25/2026

We are doing a "Get Ready for Valentine’s Day" Ladies event Saturday January 31st at 12 pm in Wheatland, CA at my place in Caliterra Ranch.

We will have a spray tan booth, lingerie, massage & intimacy items!

Judgment-free space to talk all things relationships with a Board-Certified S*xologist & Gottman Couples/Singles Leader who has been in the space for 9 years.

Did I mention you can also get a spray tan done by spray tan artist Samantha Hilton! Be sure to exfoliate 24 hours prior

If you're interested in joining us, please DM me and I'll send you the link to the private rsvp. I need a count as food & refreshments will be provided.

Curiosity counts! This is more edutainment, learning and connecting with other local ladies.

**Ladies 18 and older only. Not children - it's the law.** Thank you!

01/21/2026

🚨 PSA - PLEASE READ AND VISIT Building Intimacy. 🚨

We do not vibrate.
We judge (our hoomin does not).
Please shop accordingly this Valentine’s Day and do not attempt to wrap us in a bow.

Please do not confuse the two. But stop by the hoomins site. We need her to buy us more treat-treats. ~ Rexi RuRu & Benni BinxBunny

01/20/2026

With Valentine’s Day coming up 💗, many people start thinking about intimacy gifts, and also about how uncomfortable most places make that process feel.

If adult stores aren’t your thing, I offer a quieter, more comfortable option online if you are not local to my area. I’m a Board-Certified Clinical S*xologist, and I help people choose intimacy and intimate wellness products with education, discretion, and zero pressure. Product guidance is free and I stock an array of items that can be shipped.

This is professional support, not a party, not salesy, and no s*xual or erotic energy is exchanged.

Coaching is available separately.

If you’d like guidance picking out a Valentine’s Day gift that actually feels right, you’re welcome to comment, call/text or message me. I’m happy to help. 💕

12/04/2025

Is helping individuals and couples improve communication and emotional and/or physical intimacy something you are interested in, or passionate about?

In my practice it's far less about s3x (that's just a symptom) and much more about communication and emotional intimacy.

These studies are directed to practices that do not exchange erotic or s3xual energy and focus on talk and field trip sessions.

For context, below are some of the hurdles I've helped people and/or couples overcome:

Dating emotionally unavailable partners;
Dating profiles and dating support;
Family crisis;
Individual crisis;
Chronic pain and dating/relationships;
ADHD and dating/relationships;
Improving partner communication;
Grief;
Teaching people to fight fairly and with respect;
Male s3xual health;
Woman's s3xual health;
Divorce, and so much more.

It's not a one size fits all, and although I never set out to venture into all these areas, it's just a snapshot of where it’s lead.

If it's something you'd like to learn more about, DM, Text/Call, 916.663.8735 or click on the link below. I promise it's worthwhile if helping and empowering people is your genius.

Discover how to become a s*x coach in this step-by-step guide, including the types of s*x coaches, certifications, and more. Get certified with S*x Coach U.

11/06/2025

Sometimes we spend years trying to get love, safety, or connection from the wrong person, only to feel it instantly with someone who was never part of the original plan.

You don’t have to wait a lifetime for the kind of love that feels mutual, easy, and emotionally safe.

You just have to stop waiting for it in the wrong place.

If you’re tired of over giving, over explaining, or feeling unseen, it’s not a sign to try harder, it’s a sign to choose different.

That’s the work we do inside Building Intimacy.

Learning how to attract relationships that match your effort, your heart, and your healing.

Drop READY in the comments or message me for a free voice note coaching response. 💬❤️

10/07/2025

"The hardest part of being a listener is realizing that when you finally speak, no one stays long enough to hear you."

🏋‍♀️ Listeners carry an invisible weight.

They absorb what others release. The grief, fear, anger and secrets.

They hold space so others can breathe again.

But here’s the paradox...

The listener is often the least listened to.

Not because they don’t have anything to say, but because the world assumes they’ll always be the one holding steady.

Yet even steady ground needs tending.

Even strong hearts need someone to witness them.

The truth is, listening is not a one way act. It’s a circle. If the listener is never heard, the circle breaks.

So ask yourself...When was the last time I asked the listener how they’re really doing, and then truly listened?

10/04/2025

💡 This quote hit very close to home...

"One of the first signs of real love is the moment you realize that someone is trying their very best to understand you." – Jonathan Carroll

In my past, real understanding was rare. Too often I was met with defensiveness, silence, or dismissal, and it left me feeling unworthy, unlovable and invisible.

The truth is, I’ve only experienced that deep kind of understanding twice in my life. With my first true love…and now, with my last true love.

The act of someone choosing to pause, listen, and seek to understand before reacting...That difference is everything.

It hasn’t been easy to find. The years in between were filled with lessons, heartbreak, and healing.

But standing here now, I know how precious it is when someone truly leans in and says, “Help me to understand.”

Love isn’t just about passion or promises. It's about being seen, heard, and understood.

And after a long, hard journey, I finally get to experience that again and it's everything.

👉 What's your experience been? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.