02/15/2020
Lori McKee
February 12 at 4:22 PM
Ѕσmє σf чσu mαч rєlαtє tσ thíѕ αѕ much αѕ I díd.
Dear Mom of a Child with High Functioning Autism
You are part of a unique group who may not quite fit in with the traditional autism community.
But your child with high functioning autism has challenges. Plenty of them. Challenges that very much affect him/her and your entire family. They may not always be obvious to everyone around you. But when they are? It’s very apparent.
Even though you’ve learned to embrace “autism” because it’s brought answers and help to your child, it’s never easy admitting he is “less than perfect” in society’s eyes. And every time you have to explain to someone, your heart breaks a little.
Life is always unexpected, but with autistic kids, there’s an additional wrench thrown in the mix. Your child might change overnight and it’s up to you to figure out what’s going on with him. And it’s up to you to figure out a way to help him.
Yes, there are experts and doctors who can advise you. But it’s your job to help your child. You must be an advocate for him in a world that doesn’t make it easy. It’s a scary responsibility.
EVERYONE has an opinion, even those who have no right to say anything about autism. There are about 4 million results if you google “high functioning autism.” It’s up to you to w**d through all the “noise” and figure out what will help your child.
You won’t be perfect, that’s a guarantee. But it’s hard to not try to make it perfect when it’s your child at stake. And then to not feel guilty when something fails.
Your child may be in therapy. Your child may be on medication. Your child may be on a natural supplement regimen and have dietary restrictions. There’s so many options you might be doing with your child, and often times, you use a combination.
People don’t realize just how gut-wrenching it is to put your child on medication. They judge and say “Oh you went the ‘easy’ route.” But that is the farthest thing from the truth.
They have no idea how much you agonized about putting your son on meds. How you watched him struggle and it just broke your heart that other things weren’t helping. How medication was a last resort, but you had to do something to help.
So you finally agreed to meds, but the battle wasn’t over. The right medication had to be found. That required you making careful lists of symptoms to report back to the doctor and many trials and errors. There were dosage changes. And side effects. Even now, you aren’t 100% certain this is the right med for your child, because very rarely is there a magic pill that people seem to think exists.
Medication is not the easy route.
There are some days when you just want to quit.
But you love your child so much and would do just about anything for him or her. You so badly want your child to succeed in life!
People take for granted things that amaze you.
It can be very lonely to have a child with autism. You can’t just go on a playdate with another mom and her children because you don’t know what your child will do. And while unfortunately there are more children diagnosed with autism today than ever before, you don’t have the connections everyone seems to think you have with the autistic community. You don’t have access to support from other moms who understand.
No, you often feel very very alone.
Sometimes you catch yourself watching other kids your child’s age and secretly wish your child was like them. Then you feel bad for even thinking that and quickly remind yourself just how much you love your child.
People don’t realize just how amazing your autistic child can be. He may have incredible talents and have so much to offer; he just does things differently than others. And while your heart loves to see that talent, you also ache because you wish other people could see and get to know who your child really is.
You forget to take care of yourself in the midst of caring for your child. Yet you must not! You are so important to your child and his well-being and that’s even more reason for you to let go regularly and do something for you! But how do you fit yet one more thing into your already overwhelmed life?
Most of all, you love your child with a fiercely protective mother-bear nature that takes on a new meaning when your child has high functioning autism
