Calm the Chaos Parenting

Thinking to myself… “I need to post something.”
Scrolling through my photos looking for a relatable moment.
Scouring my memory for a meltdown, an argument… something familiar.
And coming up empty.

“I don’t have anything of value anymore. What’s the point?”
So I hide.
I don’t post.
I close the computer. Walk away.
Tell myself I’ll try again tomorrow.
Tomorrow becomes tomorrow again.
Then next week.
Then I’ll feel better next month.
And now…
I can’t remember the last time I felt in flow.

And maybe for you… it doesn’t look like this.

Maybe it looks like trying to connect with your kid…
but they can’t lift their eyes from the screen.

Attempting another hard conversation with your partner…
only to be afraid of rocking the boat and avoiding conflict… again.

Doing the thing that once brought so much joy and confidence…
yet feeling like you’ve lost all the “magic.”

And underneath all of that…
there’s this quiet voice that starts to creep in—
“I don’t have anything of value here anymore.”

But here’s what I’m starting to see…
Your value hasn’t been lost.
It’s just been drowned out.

Maybe you are in a different place than you were.
Maybe things have changed… for better or worse.
Maybe you’ve outgrown that version of yourself.

Whatever the reason…
If you’re in that place right now…
I want you to know I’m here to walk alongside you.

I don’t have it all figured out.
But I’ve done this long enough to know…
I’m not alone.
And neither are you.

P.S. If this has been sitting with you too…
that quiet feeling of “I’ve lost it”…
you don’t have to hold that on your own.

There’s a space here where you can share what’s been weighing on you — no judgment, no fixing.

Just someone here to listen. Drop a ❤️if this is what you needed today.

You are staring at a hole in the wall (the second this week).
Wondering how it got this bad.
Replaying every step… how it escalated so fast and without warning.

One minute everyone was talking about spring break plans…
and the next moment you are being chased out of your kid’s room with books being thrown at your head.

You just wanted to help.
You were calm.
You said all the “right things.”
And it still went sideways.
I get it.

You are wondering if it’s always going to be this bad.
If anything could truly work… because lord knows you’ve tried everything.

Are the “experts” really right?
Is the next step meds… residential… hospitalization?
That all sounds so extreme.

But deep down… you know you can’t keep going this way.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me before we got to the emergency room visit…
when the doctors sat me down and gave me an ultimatum—
either let us admit your son to residential treatment…
or we will take over medical power of attorney.

In that moment, through the tears,
I felt my entire world rip apart.

Any resemblance of control or choice… gone.

I had done what I worked so hard to not do…
Fail.

And here’s what I didn’t understand in that moment…
This wasn’t a failure.
This wasn’t something caused by one person.
This wasn’t because of something wrong with me or my son.

This was a culmination of listening to all the expert advice…
being pulled in a hundred different directions…
trying strategy after strategy that didn’t actually fit my son… or even feel right to me…
and navigating systems that were never built for a kid like him.

If you are here… wondering if this is the beginning of the end…
scared you’ve failed your family…
and feeling like there’s nowhere else to turn…

I want you to know this—
You are not alone.

Even if it feels like you’re the only one sitting in this right now…
even if no one around you truly gets it…
You are not the only one walking through this.

P.S. If you’re carrying a lot right now and don’t have a place to put it…
I created a space where you can share what’s really going on — no judgment, no fixing.

https://ctchub.com/tell-me-more
Just someone here to listen.

You can't leave the room for five minutes.
Not to make dinner.
Not to use the bathroom.
Not even to grab your coffee.

Because the moment you step away…
someone is screaming
someone is crying
and something just got thrown across the room.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

A lot of parents in our community say the same thing:
“I feel like I can’t leave the room without everything falling apart.”

Sibling fights don’t explode because kids are bad.

They explode because kids don’t yet know what to do when emotions get big.

That’s exactly why we created the Sibling Fights Plan.

Inside you'll find:
• the exact words to say when things get heated
• thought swaps for when YOU are about to lose it
• a simple plan your kids practice together so they can pause before fights turn physical

Grab it free →
https://calmthechaos.co/free/sibling-fights/

One child needs space.
The other one hates being alone.

One is wildly competitive.
The other falls apart when someone wins.

And somehow every activity ends in an argument.

If you have kids with completely different personalities, sibling fights can feel constant.

It’s not because they’re trying to make your life difficult.

It’s because their needs are pulling in opposite directions — and they don’t yet know how to work it out.

One of the biggest shifts we teach parents is helping kids pause before the conflict escalates.

Not by separating them.
Not by choosing sides.
But by giving them a plan they can actually use together.

That’s exactly what’s inside the Sibling Fights Plan.

Grab it free →
https://calmthechaos.co/free/sibling-fights/

There was a time our family was in complete survival mode.

I couldn’t leave the house more than 5 minutes, couldn’t shower, and definitely couldn’t leave my kids by themselves.

The aggression and outbursts were so severe that I couldn’t risk anyone getting hurt if I stopped being vigilant for one second.

I second guessed my parenting, my choices, my moves, my abilities, and everything in between.

I worried about how we’d get through each day, what the next week would bring and how many times we’d get a call from dcsf in the next month. When I was alone I’d worry about the future. Would we make it? Would my kids have so much trauma from the aggression? Would they hate each other? Would one end up in prison or dead?

I just didn’t know.

Flash forward 10-12 years and while it’s not all figured out, I don’t worry the same way. My kids are doing well. They love each other, they support me and my dreams, and they help out around the house.

My daughter recently told me she can’t remember me telling since the boys were little (over 10 years). She said she can’t remember tell me things and not be afraid and she isn’t ever walking on eggshells waiting for the next meltdown.

I never thought that would be our story! But it is! In fact it’s the story of thousands of parents I’ve helped over the last ten years and if you are at the beginning, I want you to know you are not alone! There is hope!

Simply leave a 💕 if you needed to hear this today and be reminded you’ve got this!

Which one of these did you need to hear today?

Save this if it resonated. Share it with someone who's in it right now.

💛

I need to tell you something kind of ridiculous.

Our warehouse shut down.

And now I'm staring at boxes in my living room — water bottles on the couch, journals on the kitchen table, socks in places socks should definitely not be.

So I did something impulsive.

I bundled up 5 of our most popular items into one pack and priced it to disappear.

The Mom Pack — $25 (normally $80+)

💛 "You Matter" Water Bottle
💛 "Breathe" Water Bottle
💛 "Some See a W**d, Some See a Wish" Journal
💛 "Believe You Can" Journal
💛 "Keep Moving Forward" Socks

This is for the mom who needs a reminder that she matters. Maybe that's your sister. Your best friend. Your kid's teacher.

Maybe it's you. (You're allowed to keep it.)

Once it's gone, it's gone. I'm not reordering.

💛 Comment "MOMPACK" and I'll send you the link.

(US shipping only)

So I’ve been thinking....

What if showing up wasn’t about being perfect...
what if it was just about being you?

Beautiful, unadulterated you.

You are perfect just the way you are.
At least I think so.

that’s all.

Happy Friday,
💛 Dayna

ps. If you needed this today just reply with a ❤️