04/10/2019
Thanks to everyone who came to last night's meeting! Led by our treasurer, Jonathan Daniel, we discussed the ethical non-monogamy umbrella and the different practices and identities that can fall under it, including polyamory, open relationships, friends with benefits, kink families, and relationship anarchy.
We watched this humorous video that showcases polyamorous people answering questions and dispelling some myths about people who practice non-monogamy. We also watched this mini-lecture on polyamory from Sexplanations with Dr. Doe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VKGRrOzMDg&list=FL64JeJZ-4BiUT5oLnTx0yVA&index=2.
As we wrote in our previous post, while non-monogamous practices and identities are generally not considered inherently q***r, they are a closely related form of non-normative expression, q***r cultures have often been more accepting of non-monogamous people, and non-monogamous people have often held q***r identities themselves and/or have closely allied with q***r communities through joint liberation and solidarity.
Below we've copied and pasted some powerful words from Nicole Moon ONeal, a kinky and polyamorous person:
Why do I want polyamorous representation?
Because when someone doesnāt want to date me because Iām poly itās āunderstandableā but when I donāt want to date someone because they are monogamous itās āridiculous.ā
Because all relationship advice tells you that if you have feelings for someone else while youāre in a relationship youāre a bad person.
Because even feminists try to slt shame me.
Because when I tell people me and my partner have an open relationship they assume itās because weāre going through a rough patch.
Because people equate āmultiple partnersā with āpredatorā and think everything I say is an attempt to get in their pants.
Because I am fed up of love triangles as easy plot devices in my media.
Because the LGBTQA+ movement are so desperate to show āalliesā they are ājust like everyone elseā that they s**t on everyone with a non-monogamous dynamic.
Because when a monogamous couple have s*x with each other every night itās having an active s*x drive. When I have s*x with a different partner every night Iām a nymphomaniac.
Because people assume polyamory is just about multiple s*x partners instead of multiple *loving & committed* relationships and instead conflate polyamory with swinging when they're totally different lifestyles.
Because people think that monogamy = validity, always.
Because monogamous hetronormativity is so ingrained that I donāt even feel like I can dance with someone without telling them the complete logistics of my love life.
Because people genuinely believe that raising a child communally is damaging to development.
Because when I say āI could never be monogamousā I get dirty looks.
Because too many people have tried to confide in me when theyāre cheating because āI thought you, of all people, would understand.ā
Because I canāt talk about my relationship troubles with my monogamous friends because āI always have something to fall back on.ā As if my relationships are meaningless.
Because being Polyamorous isn't an "alternative lifestyle", it is just how I choose to live *My* life, so I can be happy.
Because being Polyamorous does not mean I'm afraid of commitment. I am able to commit to many types of relationships. And love more than one person.
Feel free to add more 'because's
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