Ann Kimura Life Coaching

Two Relationships, One Person

Last weekend I celebrated my aunt’s 80th birthday surrounded by family. It was a beautiful time filled with gratitude, laughter, and memories. And yet there was sadness too as it was clear that my aunt was living with dementia and her memory and awareness was declining.

It was a reminder of something I learned while being trained in the Grief Recovery Method®:

When someone develops dementia, you may find yourself grieving two different relationships.

The relationship you had with the person before dementia.

And the relationship you have with them now.

Both relationships matter. Both contain memories, hopes, disappointments, and emotions.

Many caregivers and family members feel confused by their sadness because their loved one is still alive.

But grief isn’t limited to death. We grieve changes, too.

If you’ve loved someone with dementia, you’re not grieving “wrong.” You’re responding to a real loss.

💜 Join a Grief Recovery Method Small Group this summer. Learn the myths we’ve learned from our family, friends and culture and how to process your own grief as well as be there for others going through their own. DM to hop on a no cost consult today.

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Sometimes grief begins long before a final goodbye.

When a child leaves for college.

When retirement is around the corner.

When a parent begins forgetting memories.

When health changes.

When a move is approaching.

When life is changing and you know things will never be quite the same.

We often think grief only happens after a loss.

But many of us are grieving while we’re still living through the transition.

Missing what was.
Worrying about what’s ahead.
Trying to hold on while learning to let go.

If you’ve been feeling sadness during a season that is supposed to be “exciting,” you’re not alone.

Joy and grief can exist in the same moment.

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We pause today to remember and honor those who gave their lives to serve, guard and protect our country 🙏🏽 sending prayers of comfort to their loved ones.
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“Just keep busy.”

Our culture says this all the time after loss, stress, heartbreak, disappointment, or grief.

But keeping busy doesn’t heal grief.
It distracts from it.

The problem is eventually life slows down.

A job loss.
An injury.
Graduation.
An empty nest.
A breakup.
Retirement.
A season of isolation.

And suddenly the feelings we pushed aside begin to surface.

This is why some people struggle emotionally when the busyness stops. The distractions are gone, but the unresolved grief is still there.

Many adults were never taught how to process grief in a healthy way… and often we unintentionally pass that pattern on to our kids.

We teach:
“Stay strong.”
“Move on.”
“Don’t think about it.”
“Keep busy.”

But buried feelings don’t disappear.
They build.

Healing starts when we stop running from what hurts and begin learning how to process it honestly and safely.

Your feelings are not the enemy.
Ignoring them long-term is.

If this speaks to you, I offer no-cost Zoom consultations for women who want support navigating grief, emotional overwhelm, and the hidden weight they’ve been carrying for years.

Message me “consult” to connect.

Athletes hire coaches to strengthen their bodies, improve performance, and stay focused on their goals.

But what about what’s not physical?

A life coach helps strengthen mindset, emotions, habits, confidence, and perspective.

Because your mind and heart need training too.

This summer, while everyone is focused on getting physically fit… maybe it’s also time to work on:
💙emotional resilience
🧠healthier thought patterns
❤️‍🩹healing
💪confidence
🙏🏽peace

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” — Proverbs 15:22

Strong women still need support.

And growth happens faster when you don’t do it alone. ❤️

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All children experience loss in life. As a parent, grandparent , caregiver or teacher you may be looking for tools to help the children in your life navigate grief.

The Helping Children with Loss 4 week online program is a great place to start. You will gain invaluable knowledge and tools in each class. Above is the summer class schedule taught by Certified Grief Recovery Specialist Ann Kimura. Please DM Ann to register or schedule an info session.

These are the days when parents, teachers, family members and friends watch the kids they cherish walk the stage.

There is joy and pride. There is relief and rejoicing.

AND there is grief and sadness

Even though a graduate gains a diploma and a sense of freedom; they also lose many of the familiar people and patterns of life and behaviors that they were used to.

This creates Joy and grief in the same space and time. And THIS IS NORMAL.

My hope is that this post brings attention to how much grief is part of the graduation season 🧑‍🎓 not only in regards to the students but also for the people who love them. What you are feeling is normal and you are not alone.

So I encourage you to take some time to talk about your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend, mentor, counselor or coach this week. Don’t ignore your feelings, pretend, buffer or grieve alone.

I’m here if you need a listening ear. Reach out anytime to schedule a call.

If you are a grieving mom today
I want you to know you have a place here to be seen and heard — reach out anytime.

I want you to know that all the good you have done for your children matters. It matters

Even if …
They don’t remember
They don’t appreciate
They don’t call or text
They accuse you
They forget to thank you
They blame
They ignore
They leave you out
They disrespect
They turn away

These are all painful circumstances that wound moms deeply. No doubt about it. And I’m sending a lot of love your way today if you are dealing with grief. 🙏🏽💞

I believe there’s a reason why Jesus encouraged us to store up for ourselves treasures in heaven where moths and rust won’t destroy and where thieves won’t break in and steal. He knew people would fail us and even betray us like he himself was betrayed.

God wanted us to know that the good we do here on this earth, the sacrifices , the blood, sweat and tears, the prayers, the provision, the protection— they matter even if in the physical it doesn’t seem like it — in the spiritual realm it’s not forgotten.

Here on earth the enemy works to steal what is ours but God stores up our rewards in heaven. Nothing good is a waste.
One day we will have evidence of just how much our love for our children mattered.

God sees you mama. You matter.
“Don’t give up doing good , for at the proper time you will reap a harvest…” I hope the harvest will be here on earth but if not I know it will be in our lives after death.
This is living by faith and not by sight. This is the hope that believers in Christ hang on to.

Happy Mother’s Day
Love,
Ann

At the end of every school year there is an immense amount of grief within a school community. And yet the busyness of end of year activities and the societal habit of grieving alone often keeps students, teachers , parents and other staff from taking the time to share what they are feeling and thinking during this time.

Grief can be defined as something that occurs with the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind.

Right now students are realizing that things are about to change drastically.

Graduates 🎓 are grieving even if they don’t speak up about it (they might not know how or might not feel safe enough to do so if your family has rarely had conversations about feelings)
They might also be going by their peers end of the year responses and comments and trying to fit in and not be “weird or awkward” by bringing up deeper feelings of sadness and loss.

The sad thing is that their peers are also experiencing their own grief but not talking about it.

As they near graduation 🧑‍🎓 students are losing:

Their favorite teachers

The school they’ve been attending 5 days a week for years

The friends that they hangout with daily during lunch

The structured schedule and homework that kept them busy

The extracurricular activities that gave them opportunities to expend excess energy

The assignments that allowed them to complete things and feel accomplished

The office staff that knew their name and cared

The fun social activities and school events

Their world is changing and it’s totally normal for them to feel it. You may not have realized it but your child is grieving . So what can you do to help them through this time?

I’d love to share with you some tips for helping your children during this season.

Comment : “news” to receive my upcoming newsletter with 5 ways you can support your children emotionally at the end of the school year.
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