Becky Funk Coaching

If you’ve spent the last month researching whether you need a therapist or a coach and still feel stuck, I have some answers for you. ⬇️

You want so badly to get this right for your family that the fear of getting it wrong has left you completely frozen.

You’re looking for a guarantee that doesn’t exist. So, you keep pushing through the stress, hoping it’ll just get better on its own while your own nervous system stays lit at level 9. 🚨🛑

Here’s some guidance:
🧠 Work with a Counselor if:
✅You’re ready to look at the WHY.
✅If you’re processing your own childhood wounds, navigating past trauma, or trying to heal a specific event your family experienced.
➡️You need the space to heal so you can show up whole.

Work with a Coach (Like Me) if:
✅You’re ready to look at the HOW.
✅If you’re tired of carrying the emotional load at home and you’re looking for the skills to reconnect with your teen, coaching is right for you.
➡️We aren’t digging into the past; we’re building a map for the present and the future.

💡The “Aha!” Moment:
Most moms think they’re failing because they can’t talk their teen out of a meltdown. But coaching isn’t about more talking; it’s about creating a strategy.

When I work with parents, we don’t just focus on the teen; we focus on YOU. We build the skills you need to lower the intensity in your home so you can stop walking on eggshells and start feeling like the confident leader of your family again.

The Stand Strong Promise: If we jump on a discovery call and I realize your family needs clinical support, I will tell you and help you find a counselor who’s right for you.

You don’t have to have the perfect answer before you reach out. That’s literally my job to help you figure out!

DM or Comment SKILLS to start the conversation!

🕵️‍♀️If you’re replaying tonight’s social interactions like a crime scene investigation, you aren’t alone and you’re definitely my people. But you are exhausted and that’s not good. ⬇️

For a perfectionist mom, peopling feels like a high-stakes performance. If a conversation isn’t perfect, your brain calls it a failure.

You lie awake at night analyzing the data:
❌ “Did I sound weird?”
❌ “I should have said X instead of Y.”
❌ “They probably think I’m too much.”

The “Why” behind the replay:
Your brain believes that if you replay it enough times, you can somehow prevent future awkwardness. But all you’re actually doing is keeping your nervous system at a Level 9 Intensity 🚨when you should be resting.

Try this tonight: When the replay starts, say out loud (It’s ok, your husband sleeps through everything):

🗣️”That conversation is over. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be enough. My friend knows me and loves me for who I am.”

Do you overthink every conversation? Drop a ♥️ in the comments if you’re ready to break the loop tonight!

Does your daughter spend her evening over-analyzing ✨every✨ interaction she had at school? Here’s what’s happening ⬇️

To a perfectionist teen, social interactions feel like a performance. If they weren’t “perfect” (if they tripped, told a joke that didn’t land, or felt a SPLIT SECOND of awkwardness) their brain marks it as a failure.

Here is the Why behind the replay:
💫They believe that if they replay the conversation enough times, they can find exactly where they messed up so they can prevent it from ever happening again.

Those little data collectors!

The problem?
This keeps their nervous system at a Level 8 or 9 Intensity long after the school day is over. They aren’t resting; they’re working on a problem that DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST.

How to help as a parent:
❌Stop saying “No one even noticed!” (Even if it’s true, her brain doesn’t believe you).

Try this instead:
🗣️”I can see your brain is stuck in a replay loop right now. It feels like you have to solve it to be safe, but you’re allowed to let that conversation be messy. Let’s find a way to get you back into the present moment.”

This is a core part of the Stand Strong System. I teach teens how to recognize the Replay Loop and give them the tools to shut it down so they can actually rest.

✨Does your teen have a Replay Loop that keeps them up at night? Drop a 🥴 in the comments if you’ve seen this pattern! ✨

🛑 You’re not failing as a parent and your teen isn’t being difficult. You’re just focusing on the wrong thing ⬇️

First, this isn’t about whether or not teens SHOULD be grateful or not. Gratefulness is more of a learned trait for some more than others.

This is about something much deeper behind this behavior, and it’s a conversation I’ve had with two different parents in one week. So it’s time to discuss.

Both parents were feeling frustrated and unappreciated because their teens didn’t appreciate what they were doing for them, for different reasons.

Both parents wanted to help: one with her son’s basketball practice. The other with, well, just living under the same roof!

Both parents expected gratitude. Instead, what they got was shut down.

When we stepped back and looked at the facts (how they’ve acted in the past, age, developmental stage, their specific personalities), the tension in the room melted away.

Here’s the truth we found with one parent:
✅ Teens are wired for autonomy. Gratitude isn’t top of their mind. It’s not disrespect. It’s development.
✅ If your teen sees help as a loss of control, your expertise can feel like an intrusion, not a gift.

This is the core of my Understand Your Teen program.

We stop parenting on who we wish our teens were or how we would react, and we start parenting the human standing in front of us.

When this mom realized her son wasn’t being difficult, but was just being a teen struggling for independence, the disrespect disappeared and was replaced by a plan.

Are you parenting your teen’s personality, or your own expectations?

✨If you’re tired of butting heads, my Understand Your Teen program is designed to give you the manual for your specific kid. DM ‘PARENTING’ to start a conversation to learn more! ✨

“I don’t know” isn’t a brush-off. For a perfectionist teen, it’s usually the literal truth. 🛑🤯

There is nothing more frustrating than trying to help your teen through a hard day, only to be met with a wall of “I don’t knows.” It feels like they’re shutting you out, but more often than not? They are just as lost as you are.

Perfectionist teens often experience emotions as one giant, blurry blob. Because they feel the need to have the perfect answer, they’re terrified of naming the wrong feeling—so they don’t name one at all. 😶🌫️

Enter: The Emotion Wheel. 🎡

This is my favorite cheat code I use in the Stand Strong System. It takes the pressure off performing an answer and turns it into a simple search for data.

How we use it to break the “I don’t know” loop:
1️⃣ Start at the center: Pick a core “vibe” (like Sad or Scared).
2️⃣ Move outward: Are you Scared or just Insecure?
3️⃣ Move outward one more time: Suddenly, we realize the feeling is actually “Inferior.”

Now “I don’t know” becomes “I feel inferior compared to my friends at school.” 💥

NOW we have something we can actually work with!

This is exactly how we start the first phase of my Stand Strong System framework: Knowing Who You Are. We stop the guessing game and give them the vocabulary to understand their own mind.

Tired of the one-word answers? Let’s get you an emotional translator.

✨ Comment or DM me the word WHEEL and I’ll send you the tool I use with my clients to break the “I don’t know” cycle! ✨

What if your teen responded to you instead of reacting? 🤯 It’s not a dream—it’s a skill. And it’s 100% possible for your family. ⬇️

Most of the time, we’re parenting the behavior we see (the door slamming, the eye-rolling, the “Ugh!”). But we’re missing the underlying emotion behind it - the real cause of the behavior.

Here is how I flipped the script for one of my clients:

1️⃣ She learned to recognize when her internal intensity was hitting an 8/10 before the explosion happened. She practiced tools to calm her nervous system so her logical brain could stay in the driver’s seat.

2️⃣ Her mom learned that her daughter wasn’t being difficult—she was overwhelmed. Mom shifted her approach to match her daughter’s personality, creating a safe space for her to say, “I need a minute,” without it turning into a 30-minute argument.

This is where most of us get stuck. We parent based on our personality, not theirs. We try to use logic when they are in their feelings, and we wonder why the wall goes up.

I’m teaching you exactly how to bridge that gap in my upcoming workshop:
✨ 3 Reasons Your Teen Shuts Down When You Try to Talk to Them (And What to Do Instead) ✨

👉You’ll walk away knowing which of the 3 triggers causes your kid to retreat and—more importantly—exactly what to say to get them talking again.

📅 When: Tuesday, March 3rd at 7pm ET, virtually so you can attend from anywhere!

💫 Questions? Shoot me a DM with PEACE to start the conversation.

💫 Want to save your spot? DM me with your email address and I’ll send you the link to the workshop.