Wireback Works

As the train passed by, I began noticing the beauty and uniqueness of it.

Each car was different.
Some were shiny. Some were covered in graffiti. Some were old, and some were new.

Different shapes and sizes, yet all traveling together with the common purpose of getting to the next destination.

Feedback can be like that too.

It comes in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is wrapped in a shiny exterior. Sometimes it arrives a little rough around the edges.

But the purpose of helpful feedback is the same - to help us learn, grow and move forward.

The challenge is that how we receive it, and how we respond is shaped by every experience we have had with feedback.

When our experiences have been bad, we may shield and protect ourselves from feedback. When our experiences have been harsh, we anticipate it will be harsh. When our experiences have been all glowing, we anticipate good, and constructive feedback may catch us off guard. And when we have received very little feedback, we may have no idea what to expect.

This is why context and relationship matter.

Before offering feedback, we need to create space to understand one another:
🔸What would make this feedback useful?
🔸How does this person best receive it?
🔸Have we built enough trust for an honest conversation?

Feedback may come in different forms. What matters is whether it helps the other person move forward.

Have you ever asked your team for ideas... and been met with silence?

It's easy to assume they don't have any.

But more often, they're deciding whether it's safe to share them.

As leaders, we can unintentionally teach people that certainty is valued more than curiosity. Not through big moments, but through our everyday reactions to questions, mistakes, and ideas that aren't fully formed.

Over time, people stop taking risks.

Not because they lack creativity.
Because they're protecting themselves.

One small shift I've found to be incredibly powerful is changing the questions we ask.

Instead of:
"What happened?"

Try:
"What did we learn?"

Instead of:
"Do you have any ideas?"

Try:
"What's one idea you've been holding back because it didn't feel ready?"

The questions we ask shape the culture we create.

On our blog, I share more about how leaders unintentionally create cautious teams, and the simple shifts that help people feel safe enough to contribute, learn, and grow.

One question to consider today:
When people leave a conversation with you, do they feel more capable... or more cautious?

https://www.wirebackworks.com/blog/create-space-for-growth-not-perfection

I’ve learned to recognize the signs.

To listen to my body.
To tune into how I’m feeling.
To notice what I’m craving, and what I’m not.

And, today while I was sitting at my hair salon, I was given this beautiful reminder:
“I’m exactly who I need to be in this moment.”

It really is amazing to enjoy life. ✨

To celebrate what I’ve achieved.
To get curious about what’s next – not from a place of need, or from something being wrong.

But, from a place of good.

This matters in leadership too.

So often, we focus on what needs to improve, what needs to change, what needs to be fixed, or what needs to happen next.

There is a place for that.

But there is also something powerful about pausing long enough to recognize who we are now. What we have already built. What we have already learned. What we are already bringing.

So yes, I am wondering what I want to create next.
And, I am also celebrating who I am now.

💭What would change if you believed you were already enough, and still allowed yourself to be curious about what’s next?

We do not celebrate success just to feel good.
We celebrate because it helps us notice progress.

🔸It marks the moment.
🔸It creates motivation and momentum.
🔸It reminds us what we have learned and achieved.
🔸It reinforces the behaviors that helped us grow.

And, for organizations, this matters even more.

When we celebrate success, we strengthen trust and connection.

We balance accountability by acknowledging what is working, not just what needs to be improved.

It supports and shapes the culture we want by recognizing and celebrating these actions and behaviors.

This week, I’m celebrating:
🎉A coaching client who got promoted.
💬Another client who had a critical conversation and now recognizes how helpful and impactful it is for herself, the other person, and the organization.
🙌A new coaching practice I created and am using.
🌞Summer!

➡️What are you celebrating today?

They were all smiles at the end of the day.

This was after they had spent the day together for an in-service retreat.

And what I loved most was the intentionality behind it.

They had planned time to connect.
Time to create together.
Time to choose their own break.
And time to come back together to learn, reflect, and share.

The goal was to encourage more direct conversations.

But we don’t get to direct conversations by simply telling people to “just talk to each other.”

We have to create the conditions for those conversations to happen.

So we spent time setting a foundation of psychological safety and trust.

When those are in place, we create the space for:

• Curiosity instead of assumptions
• Clarity instead of frustration
• Building trust instead of eroding it
• Solving problems faster instead of letting problems take over

The structure of the day matters.

People need space to connect before we ask them to share openly.

They need trust before we ask them to be direct.

And they need to know it is safe enough to say what needs to be said, and that the conversation will help, not hurt.

I’ve been thinking a lot about overthinking.
Mostly because I know I do it. 🫣

For me, it often starts in my body before I even realize what is happening. My belly churns. My mind starts spinning. I try to figure it all out, solve it, control it, predict it, and get ahead of every possible outcome.

And, that doesn’t create clarity. It creates more noise and keeps me stuck in those spinning thoughts.

One thing I have learned through my own coaching experience is that the first shift is not to stop the thought.

👀It is to notice it.

That belly churning is an early warning signal.

When I notice it, I can pause. And then I can move from control into wonder.

Instead of:
“What if this goes wrong?”
“What do I need to fix?”
“How do I make this stop?”

I can ask:
“What is this telling me?”
“What is actually going on?”
“What are my options?”
“Is this really about this, or is there something else underneath?”
“What action would support me now?”

That shift is freeing - it creates possibilities.

It doesn’t mean I have all the answers.
It doesn’t mean I don’t still overthink.
It means I am practicing interrupting the pattern.

Notice.
Pause.
Wonder.
Choose.

The more I practice it, the more it becomes a habit.
It means that I spend less time overthinking and more time choosing how I move forward.

That is the power of coaching. Not having someone give you answers, but learning how to become a better observer of yourself so you can create new possibilities and take more intentional action.

Sometimes the simplest question can interrupt the loudest spiral.

➡️What question helps you shift when you are overthinking?

Leaders are often the last people they take care of.

They check on their teams.
They solve problems.
They support others.
They keep things moving.

And somewhere along the way, they stop paying attention to themselves.

But here's what I know to be true:

You cannot build a thriving workplace if you aren't thriving yourself.

The way you show up for yourself becomes the standard your team learns from.

When you recognize your own growth, you show others that growth matters.

When you arrive grounded rather than reactive, you create space for people to do their best work.

When you invest in your own wellbeing, you give others permission to do the same.

Leadership isn't separate from personal development.

The two are inseparable.

➡️How are you investing in yourself these days?

Read the full blog for more details.

AI is a bit like most leaders when it comes to feedback.

It often gives us the answer it thinks we are looking for.

Leaders do this too.

They worry about how we will react. So, they say nothing. Or soften the message. Or they say what they think we want to hear.

This doesn’t help anyone grow.

The reality is that feedback can be uncomfortable. We may question whether it is true. We may wonder what it says about our performance, our relationship with the giver, or even what does it say about me?

BUT without feedback, we miss the opportunity to learn and improve.

What I've been noticing lately is that the quality of feedback we receive is often connected to the quality of the questions we ask.

➡️Ask for feedback, not reassurance.

Get specific about what you want to know. Provide context. Be open to hearing something you may not have seen yourself.

I recently asked AI to review a leadership development session I was designing.

Not, "What do you think?"

Instead: "Please evaluate it for a 75-minute session, as well as in contrast to the outlined objectives for the session. What feedback do you have for me on this session?"

The response didn't just tell me it was good.

It rated the session on content quality, objective alignment, timing, and flow.

More importantly, it told me where I could improve.

🌟That's the value of feedback. Not validation. Direction.

The same is true when we ask our coworkers, leaders, teams, or coaches for feedback.

Better questions lead to better feedback.

So much of what happens around us happens instantly.

Need an answer to a question, you can get it instantly. Want to buy something, it just takes an instant. Want to talk to someone, just an instant to send that text or make the call.

But with ourselves, things take time and we’ve become so conditioned to the speed and instant satisfaction of everything else, it is easy to become impatient.
To think we aren’t succeeding.
To think I can’t do this.
To get frustrated and want to give up.

I encourage you to be patient with yourself.

If you aren’t seeing results, don’t give up.
🔸Recognize what you have done.
🔸Acknowledge the steps you are taking.
🔸Count all your practice.
🔸Write it down so you can see it.

Just don’t give up! And don’t expect instant results. If it were that easy we would all do it!

Leaders shape and create the environment.

It all starts with a foundation of psychological safety and trust.

Without that foundation, the culture will not be great.

Think about your culture as a garden.

You must focus on the foundation first, ensuring there is great soil and it has the nutrients needed for growth.

Once the soil is ready, you plant the seeds. And they need tended if you want them to grow.

☀️Light.
💦 Water.
❌Weeding.

Your culture is the same. You need to provide what it needs and your people need to flourish.

🔸Trust
🔸Safety
🔸Support
🔸Connection
🔸Recognition
🔸Engagement
🔸Communication

And sometimes you also need to do some weeding to remove what may be trying to takeover or infect what you are trying to grow.

It is all needed for a healthy environment.

It requires time, care, and attention.

How are you ensuring your environment is healthy?

Have you done a pulse check of it lately?

Where is this responsibility on your task list or strategy plan?

Don’t lose sight of what is happening in your culture and environment. It requires regular tending and it needs to be an area of focus and responsibility for leaders.