The.Farrapist Mental Health

I have been in a space of lamenting a lot recently. What do you grieve as a trauma survivor? 👇

To be honest, there have always been parts of myself that I’ve hated. Parts I’ve tried to push away. Parts I’ve tried to outrun, outsmart, outwar.

I was reminded today of the painful process of learning to embrace myself: to turn inward and look, rather than turning away.

The beautiful work of .stalvey.artist reminded me of the brutal, yet freeing journey of loving every single part of myself, especially the parts I have hidden away deep, deep somewhere in the dark.

I know it’s hard. It’s hard to see yourself. To truly try to love every part—the scared part, the wounded part, the too much part, the vulnerable part, the trauma part, the rejected part.

But I truly believe with every fiber of my being that when we learn to love even the darkest parts of our humanity, that’s when the light shines in.

That’s when we heal. 🌱

The mindset of “they should just know” is a major issue in all forms of relationships.

Not only does it set the other person up for failure, but it leaves us in a perpetual state of having our needs unmet.

I blame the movies for this! We have been conditioned to believe that romance equals someone just “getting you.”

But no one can “get you” if you don’t share the inter workings of you. And let’s be honest, we often struggle to understand ourselves, so what makes us think someone else should just understand us automatically?

Let’s make communicating our needs sexy.

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Do you agree or disagree? 💕

But they’re my people tho… 🥹

Have you experienced a recent major life change? My best friend just moved away, so I have been feeling all the things! 🥹🤬😳😵😑☹️🥺🥰❤️‍🩹😭

What would you add to this?

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What are you working hard to unlearn? Maybe it’s family patterns, fundamentalism, unhealthy coping skills. I’d love to know! 👇

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When we experience trauma our bodies naturally shift into survival mode. This is normal and adaptive—our bodies were designed to protect us.

However, our bodies can often hang out in survival mode even after the traumatic event or without an immediate threat. Working with a trauma therapist can help as you learn to guide your nervous system back to safety.

It’s normal and important for our survival instincts to kick in, but living in survival mode forever is not sustainable or helpful. Here are some tips for shifting out of survival mode and finding safety in the here and now. 💕

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Happy International Women’s Day! Today I honor every woman. Especially the women who are working to break unhealthy cycles and patterns. You are strong, worthy, and full of magic. ✨

Together, we can break the bias in our schools, workplaces, churches, communities, and the world. Today, I wanted to celebrate all the amazing things women have accomplished and fought for. Tag a woman below who inspires you! 💪🏼👇

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Happy Sunday, friends. I wrote about this on my stories the other day + felt like it deserved a spot on the feed.

Remember: Spiritual abuse can be silent, subtle, and easily dismissed or attributed to the wronged party. A pastor is expected to be trustworthy, gentle, and reasonable; thus, victims are often silenced.

Church leaders who are also abusers will slowly escalate their behavior, while victims become confused, second-guessing their personal discernment. Victims might “know” in one sense that something is wrong, yet feel they must be mistaken because of their abuser’s position.

Spiritual abuse is sneaky. It hides in the fact that it is not commonly discussed, so it is often overlooked. But know that if you have experienced spiritual abuse, you are not alone.

Tag and share this post to let others know they are not alone. 💜💜

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Trauma bonding is defined as a hormonal attachment created by repeated abuse, sprinkled with being “saved” every now and then. Basically really really bad stuff mixed with some good stuff every now and then.

Why don’t people leave? Why don’t they just get out of it? Well the brain latches on to the “sprinkled good stuff” in the midst of trauma, our brains ability to think in the long-term shuts off. The brain and body is only concerned with survival and when the abuser provides that little spark of relief, the brain holds on to this and associates the abuser with the relief.

Then our bodies become hardwired for the constant cycle. And we can become trauma bonded relationships can happen with romantic partners, family, friends, church leaders and other abusive entities.

Please hear me: if you find yourself in these constant patterns, it is not your fault! And the good news is that you CAN find healing and freedom. Working with a trauma therapist can be your greatest gift and you are worthy of love, wholeness, and healing. 💕

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We don’t just wake up and suddenly become 32 (in my case). We have been many versions of ourselves, we have been many ages, and each stage matters. Each stage lives and breathes within.

I hear clients say, “I don’t know why that still bothers me, it happened when I was 10.” But there is still that 10 year old version of you that remembers the pain and needs healing.

Offering love and compassion to our younger selves is possible. Do you resonate with this? Drop a 💕 and tag a friend who may need this reminder.

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