10/14/2026
The official video is finallllyyyy here 🤗😍I had to splice it a little bit— I stumbled my footing getting into my back pose & I did not like how it looked 🫠 so I cut that s**t out of it!
Not every single routine, stage shot, and flow can always be perfect. What was important is that I didn’t beat myself up over it and still knew I put my best on that stage. ♥️💋
A small part of me has thought, maybe after this season, I’ll be good. Maybe my bodybuilding phase needs to end…? The way my hormones fluctuate in the deficit— doesn’t make me the best wife or mother I can be during those prep weeks. This last prep kinda scared me a little & made me so aware of this fact.
But then I start to tear up…like I makes me emotional to think about quitting something that has brought me so much joy & determination. Something that has given me a purpose to believe in the impossible again. It’s given me something that I can control my own pain over.
For me, bodybuilding has become like a tattoo.
Most people with tattoos don’t really do it just because it looks cool, there’s a trauma & a hurt inside. There is a need to be control of your own pain for once. To be able to sit there in the pain that you chose for yourself— makes it hurt less than any kind of pain that was chosen for you out of your control.
So what if the ONLY thing I can be selfish about, is this?
I give myself to everyone constantly. I show up in more ways than 98% of the people around me even notice or care. BUT, bodybuilding and working out are literally the only way I have shown up for me, in a really long time. It has helped teach me that I can do anything.
So, no. No I’m not done after this season.
This is only just the beginning of something I never thought would EVER be a passion of mine.
You see a half naked chick in a bikini, and probably think “wow why would she even post these pictures. She just wants attention”
GIRL. I do not f***ing care what you think or the next random guy that makes an unsolicited comment on it. If you took even half a second to take a minute to pay attention to my WHOLE story….
This body has survived.
This body has almost died.
I am not giving it up!!