Willow Hill Coaching

Come play with me!

Willow is a relationship coach. She believes everyone deserves to be in healthy, supportive and empowering relationships, but that very few of us are ever taught how and wants to change that.

This will be be Willow's 7th Playthink. The opportunity to play and learn and practice a different way of BEing has become a valuable part of her family's life.

PlayShops:
Building Secure Attachment as an Adult
Deeper Understanding

Co-regulation is sexy

TL;DR : You have permission to modify your yoga practice, your relationships, your life

Yoga gives me flexibility and strength in body, mind and spirit.

I've had a yoga practice off and on for 12 years. Every once in a while a really inspiring teacher comes along and helps me up level my practice. Today was the last day of one of those teachers at my current studio. So I am feeling reflective of my last few months with her and my last few years with yoga.

I have a couple of chronic injuries that have contributed to some of the pauses in my practice over the years, but the more I've learned to modify poses, the more I've learned how to safely push my limits.

Important notes: At this studio, I like to practice up in the front row because of the winter sunshine that comes in the windows. These are also kinda kick your butt, I'm gonna challenge your balance and strength so much that there is no choice but to focus on your breath classes. I love it.

Three weeks ago my knee said no, 'Haha, you think you are supporting weight on me? I don't think so.' I said, 'I still need yoga today, lets see what we can do.'

So every pose I carefully evaluated my limits and modified A LOT. Whole class doing balancing figure 4? I'm on my butt doing it from boat pose. Warrior one, well that’s ok if I don't bend deep, awesome. Chair pose, nope, gonna be mountain pose.

After class I was talking with the teacher about being proud of my modification skills and confidence to do it in the front row. You know what she said? She thanked me! I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do, I listened to my body and by doing it in the front row, I was giving permission to others in the class to modify if they needed.

So I'm here, giving you permission.
To modify your yoga poses.
To modify your relationships.
To modify your whole life.
To find what works best for you, even if the whole world is doing it differently.
Listen to your heart.
Listen to your knee.
You have permission to modify.

Photo credit: Nathan Pyle

PS: My knee is way better this week. Still had to modify a little, but blocks are cool.

I've fallen in love with caving. The groundedness underneath the earth. The ancient rock formations. The physical challenge.

I went caving with some of my partners the other weekend. We went with a large group because being underground can be dangerous and having others who know the way and how not to get stuck is a good idea and just more fun.

One of my partners was the first to nope out. They were facing a lot of fears just to even go in and made it 2/3 of the way through. I'm so damn proud of their bravery, but eventually the physical fear response was just too much and they noped out.

The caving leader assured us that everyone, even he, has a nope point. A nope point where the physical fear sensation is stronger than the rational voice. A nope point where there isn't any physical harm, but the emotional harm isn't worth it. There's another nope point where the rational voice is avoiding physical harm. Its hard to tell which one is which while you are at the damn nope point.

So honor your nope points. Step back. Re-evaluate. Listen to the fears and deeper emotions that come up. Maybe they are telling you that caving isn't your thing, but its good you tried. Maybe they are saying that caving is awesome, but you need some better gear to try again.

Nope points come up in relationships, especially open ones. Being vulnerable in relationships can be scary as f**k. Maybe the fear is telling you this isn't for you. Maybe the fear is worth facing again and going a little farther. Only you get to decide.

It is ok to struggle in your relationships. It is ok to be imperfect. It is ok to make mistakes.

I was listening to world renowned relationship researchers the Gottmans on Brene Brown's Unlocking Us podcast the other day. These guys did the research and literally wrote the book (books really) on what healthy relationships look like and why they last.

You know what they shared?
They are imperfect.
They've made mistakes in their own relationship.
They still can miss each other's bids for connection.
They can have a hard time understanding each other.
They are flawed humans.

Its ok for you to be a flawed human in your relationships too.

Podcast link in comments

I've been taking a social media break for personal reasons, but I'm still here and have space for new clients.

Are you ready to grow your relationship to new heights?

I like yogi teas because of the little messages from the universe on them.

Today's tea really resonated.

This is a MUST attend class!
INSTRUCTOR FEATURE!

Offerings:
Building Secure Attachment as an Adult

Our early attachments to our parents and our community shape the way our nervous system responds to intimate relationships for the rest of our lives. Most of us do not learn to form secure attachments, leaving us anxious and/or disconnected in our adult relationships. When we learn about attachment theory, we may feel doomed to our insecure patterns forever, but it is possible to build secure attachment as an adult!!! Having secure attachments allows us to form deep connections while maintaining our autonomy and sense of self. Based on the work of Jessica Fern, author of Polysecure.

Stay tuned for information about additional class offerings from Willow!

Willow is a relationship coach. She believes everyone deserves to be in healthy, supportive and empowering relationships, but that very few of us are ever taught how and wants to change that.

This will be Willow's 6th Playthink. The opportunity to play and learn and practice a different way of Being has become a valuable part of her family's life.

I have wanted other things more than lovers ...
I have desired peace, intimately to know
The secret curves of deep-bosomed contentment,
To learn by heart things beautiful and slow.

Cities at night, and cloudful skies, I've wanted;
And open cottage doors, old colors and smells a part;
All dim things, layers of river-mist on river--
To capture Beauty's hands and lay them on my heart.

I have wanted clean rain to kiss my eyelids,
Sea-spray and silver foam to kiss my mouth.
I have wanted strong winds to flay me with passion;
And, to soothe me, tired winds from the south.

These things have I wanted more than lovers...
Jewels in my hands, and dew on morning grass--
Familiar things, while lovers have been strangers.
Friended thus, I have let nothing pass.

-Monody to the Sound of Zithers
by Kay Boyle

This poem was sent to me by one of my best friends.

I went on a hike today with different best friend and was reminded of why all relationships are so valuable. We all need tribe.

Having that deep trust and security and knowing with the people you love so that when you realize it's been 3 months since you've actually talked and in that time that the two of you have gotten covid, traveled thousands of miles, made major life changes but you get together and that deep trust and security is as strong as ever.

Having that kick in the butt out of my post viral fatigue to make a fb post to let people know that I'm still alive and have room for new clients.

Thanks friend, glad to have captured Beauty's hands with you today 💜

Come play with me!

I'll be teaching about forming secure attachment as an adult (for all) and our cyclical selves (for those who menstruate)

Relationships go through stages.

A thriving relationship is the 5th stage.

Deep Connection.
Fulfillment.
Trust.
Passion.
All part of a long term thriving relationship.

The first stage is easy- Romance:

New Relationship Energy.
Ease.
Passion.
Seeing our partner's best.
Connection.
Hopefulness.
Blissed out from happy love chemicals flooding our brain.

The second stage s**t gets real- The Power Struggle:

Disconnection.
Disillusionment.
Seeing our partner's worst.
Conflict.
Negative reactive cycles.
Settling.
The happy love chemicals have faded.

Many relationship never make it past the Power Struggle.
Even long term relationships can get stuck in the Power Struggle for a long, long time.
Even thriving relationships can be knocked back down into the power struggle with new life challenges (new job, new kids, new relationships).

The third stage- The Way Out

Its not a secret, in fact there is a big hint on my shirt, but I'd rather tell you in person.

Schedule a free consultation call with me today and take your first step into the third stage and your journey to a thriving relationship.

I spent Thanksgiving with my chosen family. It was a last minute gathering with friends we don’t get to see often, because the calendar stars aligned and why the heck not. I am so grateful for my friends and all the wonderful people in my life.

I have mixed feelings about the holiday as I’ve unlearned a lot of the colonial narrative I was taught about the Pilgrims and the Wampanoags. But any holiday that celebrates gratitude and family can’t be all bad.

Gratitude needs to be celebrated every day.

Gratitude is a super tonic for both personal mental health and relational health.

If we aren’t expressing our gratitude, we are leaving little holes in our life that can be filled with automation, distance and eventually resentment.

Resentment is a relationship killer. Don’t leave those little gaps for it to grow in.

Fill your holidays and your everydays with awareness, appreciation and gratitude.