Unapologetically Human Coaching

Unapologetically Human Coaching Stuck in your relationships? Exhausted from people pleasing? Unmotivated? Drinking too much? Procras

Found these words comforting today in the wake of rejection, failure and some hard months ahead. 😎
10/17/2022

Found these words comforting today in the wake of rejection, failure and some hard months ahead. 😎

Thought of the day: Fear is a liar and is a thief.
09/25/2022

Thought of the day: Fear is a liar and is a thief.

Are you over apologizing? Do you say "I'm sorry" even when it's not your fault? Be aware that when you apologize, you ma...
09/18/2022

Are you over apologizing? Do you say "I'm sorry" even when it's not your fault?

Be aware that when you apologize, you make everything your fault IMMEDIATELY. If you are apologizing out of habit even when it's not your fault that puts you in a very dis-empowered position.

One way we teach others how to treat us is through our words.

Here are a few examples of what to say instead:

"I'm sorry that I talked so much" say this instead "thank you for listening"
"I'm sorry I'm late" say this instead "thank you for waiting"
"I'm sorry I didn't get back to you quicker" say this instead "I was busy doing something but I have attention for you now"

Command more respect in every area of your life.
Stop taking on unnecessary blame.
STOP OVER-APOLOGIZING.

09/14/2022

Thought of the Day:
To be human is to be imperfect

Everyday the urge to procrastinate working out comes up for me. My brain has all the excuses….too sore, too tired, too b...
09/14/2022

Everyday the urge to procrastinate working out comes up for me. My brain has all the excuses….too sore, too tired, too busy, too hard. After 2 years of acknowledging the urge but doing my workout anyway, I’ve totally reshaped and sculpted ny body. I’ve gone from being 30lbs overweight and struggling to catch my breath as I climbed stairs to being lean, muscular and 2 sizes smaller. The motivation to workout comes only after starting the workout not before. 💪🏼🏋️‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🥊

Truth always leads us in the direction of who we are meant to become. When we really tell ourselves the truth about what...
09/09/2022

Truth always leads us in the direction of who we are meant to become.

When we really tell ourselves the truth about what we need and want in our lives that's when the healing can begin.

I always knew deep down that I wanted to have a fit athletic looking body where I could actually see my abs without the fluffy layers on top but I always told myself, I never want to look that fit because its not feminine or women that have fit bodies are selfish, vain and workout all the time.

Those thoughts generated a feeling of "justified" and lying to myself served a purpose. It gave me an easy way out so I didn't have to put in ANY effort. I didn't have to change my eating habits and I could keep drinking heavily.

About 2 years ago, I realized I was putting on weight fast. About 30 lbs and for my 5'2 frame that was a lot. I was struggling to not feel winded climbing stairs and I just felt sluggish.

I slowly began exercising, eating better, drinking less and I began to feel better in my body.

Along the way I started really changing my negative thinking about having an athletic fit body. It became possible for me to believe that maybe someone who is fit isn't vain, selfish or working out ALL the time. And that your fitness doesn't determine whether you feel feminine.

This change in thinking generated feelings of curiosity, determination and courage and those feelings fueled me to stop procrastinating and avoiding my dream. And believe that it's okay to want a fit body.

I've lost almost all the unhealthy weight I put on and I'm on my way to becoming the fitest I've ever been in my life! It's taken the full 2 years and I'm still working on it but it's been so worth all the effort.

Once I allowed myself to be truthful about what I truly wanted, it became easy to stop procrastinating and go all in with making it a possiblity.

What have you been avoiding in your life and why?

09/07/2022

When you react to a situation versus using your higher logical brain 🧠 you may end up feeling all the negative emotions.

I did this the other day after seeing the guy at the gym that broke my heart.💔 We spoke and I asked him to hang out and he said he was too busy this week.

My brain went right into rejection mode. I made him being busy mean that I was not good enough and my self-doubt came up.

Instead of taking a breath and thinking with my pre-frontal logical brain, I hurriedly left the gym and cried all the way home. 😢

I listened to an amazing podcast today about having an empowered mindset with Lylas Leona on Lady Sculpt Lifestyle episode #52 and she gave such good insight and tips on how to empower your mind so that you stop reacting so much.

This was exactly what I needed to hear.

She said an empowered mindset is the ability to look at a situation rationally and decide how you want to think about it instead of reacting to it.

It’s on purpose conscious thinking and choosing how you want to think and feel about a situation.

How you show up to whatever circumstance can either put you in the passenger seat in a rear-facing car seat or in the driver’s seat where you have the navigation, gas pedal and control of where to go.🚘

It’s so important to know that how you think about a situation can really change the outcome of the situation.

What is it that I wanted to think in the moment when gym guy said he was too busy?

If I had just paused and thought through what my gym guy said, I would have realized that he is truly busy and he didn’t say no forever, just not this week.

Maybe he truly isn’t interested and that's okay. I would be thankful he didn’t waste my time and give me false hope.

Check out Lylas Leona and her inspiring podcast!

Don’t procrastinate just go listen and soak up all the good knowledge she has to offer.

People pleasing is a form of lying. 🫢People pleasing is lying to yourself and lying to someone else. 😳If you are procras...
09/02/2022

People pleasing is a form of lying. 🫢

People pleasing is lying to yourself and lying to someone else. 😳

If you are procrastinating your life because you are too busy trying to please others ask yourself WHY?

Why do you people please?

Yep got my heart broken the other day. I'm still happy with this dating life that I've chosen and that I've stopped avoi...
08/27/2022

Yep got my heart broken the other day.

I'm still happy with this dating life that I've chosen and that I've stopped avoiding and procrastinating meeting people even though I'm experiencing a lot of "negative" emotions.

A friend of mine gave me a good analogy. She said dating is like making pancakes. Sometimes the first few in each batch are not ideal. The trick isn't to throw away the batter, it's to keep adjusting and learning.

Just keep making pancakes. 🥞🥞🥞

You may have to make a heap of pancakes before you find that one that is ideal but the lessons and refinements along the way are what are important.

The "negative" emotions and fear of rejection were the reasons why I let many years go by before I decided to try and date again. I'm finding that it's not the fear of rejection that's hard for me now. It's holding to my goals and values and constraining to only those who fit what I'm looking for.

I've had to start a new batch of pancakes, with a precise recipe of ingredients instead of just throwing stuff in and hoping it works.

I'm also learning that the negative emotions that go along with dating like sadness, hurt, anxiety and disappointment definitely don't feel good but are an important part of this whole experience. Processing this clean pain as it comes up is much quicker than avoiding it and stuffing it down or buffering with food, alcohol or Netflix.

My thought of the day is: I'm choose to constrain my dating choices to exactly what I want.

This thought makes me feel: confident

When I feel confident about dating, I show up to the dating apps with purpose and intention and I don't waste my time or others time. I choose to swipe right with care. I don't people please and I communicate up front.

The result: I create opportunities to find the relationship that I want.

So, I'll keep flippin' pancakes and not give up even if the whole batch flops.

Finally decided to stop procrastinating the fact that I'm entering menopause. I've been having night sweats and hot flas...
08/27/2022

Finally decided to stop procrastinating the fact that I'm entering menopause. I've been having night sweats and hot flashes...ewe! 🥵🥵🥵

I just haven't wanted to acknowledge that this is happening AGAIN. I had similar hot flashes in my early 40's and they went away after about a year. But now that I'm 50, I think it's time to embrace this new body change and stop pretending it's not happening.

Bought Black Cohosh supplements and hoping this helps along with working on my thoughts about menopause. It's a natural change in life. It's not the end of my youth even thought that's what my brain keeps offering up. It's just not true even though it feels SO true.

Here's my thought of the day: It's possible that menopause is not the end of my youth.

What are you procrastinating? What are your thoughts about the thing you are avoiding?

It's taken me nearly 5 years to decide to come out of my single cave and venture into dating again. To finally decide th...
08/23/2022

It's taken me nearly 5 years to decide to come out of my single cave and venture into dating again. To finally decide that procrastinating and avoiding my love life is no longer what I want.

As I've started dating, I'm realizing how hard my brain fights against uncertainty and doubt. I just want to know the outcome damn it!!

Will this first date be a good one? Will he be the one? Will this guy call me back or like me back? Will he break my heart?

So many opportunities for my brain to freak out and boy does it do a fantastic job of it.

I'm currently dating someone that I really like and whoa my brain keeps making up the worst stories about the future and what is "supposed" to happen next. Of course it's not happening at all like I think it "should". Sitting in that discomfort and uncertainty is hard!

I'm constantly reminding myself that no matter what the outcome, I'm open to feeling ALL the feelings both positive and negative. And I know that I won't die even if it's disappointing or sad or my heart gets broken again.

A feeling passes in about 90 seconds.

Most importantly, I've done the work with life coaching and know how to manage my own brain so that I have my own back.

I remind myself each time my mind serves up this poopoo platter of unhelpful questions that if this guy rejects me, it isn't a problem and it's what he's thinking and feeling that causes him to behave in a certain way.

I've worked hard to retrain my brain that beating myself up or judging myself for another person's behavior isn't an option and NOT what I do anymore. But the thoughts still come up. So I let them in and process the emotions.

The best analogy that my coach taught me is that not everyone likes peaches and that's okay. Some humans like apples, pears etc. I only need 1 out of all the dating pool. And the more I put myself out there, the easier it will get.

What are you procrastinating or avoiding?

My thoughts cause my feelings, so what I think matters. My words matter.My feelings fuel what I do. The sensations or vi...
07/17/2022

My thoughts cause my feelings, so what I think matters.

My words matter.

My feelings fuel what I do.

The sensations or vibrations that are produced in my body from what I’m thinking are my feelings.

What I do or don’t do determines the results I get in my life.

No matter what the situation or circumstance in my life. How I choose to show up is 100% up to me.

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