The Nickel Jar

I don't need Eli to blend into the world. I need him to understand it well enough to be safe in it. For our family, ABA isn't about making him less autistic. It's about giving him the tools to better understand himself, the people around him, and the situations he encounters every day.

Some of the most important skills our children learn aren't the ones that show up on report cards. They're the ones that help them recognize danger, understand their feelings, trust the right people, and ask for help when something doesn't feel right.

New post, "Safety Skills & Peace of Mind", linked in comments!

Safety Skills & Peace of Mind I don’t need Eli to blend into the world. I need him to understand it well enough to be safe in it. For our family, ABA isn’t about making him less autistic. It’s about giving him…

Someday, if we're lucky, we realize the traditions we grew up with aren't ours to keep — they're ours to carry forward.

Love Them Loudly Someday, if we’re lucky, we realize the traditions we grew up with aren’t ours to keep — they’re ours to carry forward.

Grief has a way of creating an unexpected juxtaposition: mourning something or someone deeply while simultaneously celebrating them most fully.

This season has been full of grief layered on top of grief… but also family, memories, perspective, and a giant reminder that 20 years, 42 years, 84 years - doesn't matter. It isn’t long enough, and none of us are promised tomorrow.

New post, "Layered Grief", linked below.

https://thenickeljar.com/layered-grief/

For the first time ever, a little boy showed up at our front door uninvited, rang the doorbell, and asked for ELI to come out and play basketball with him.

I don’t know that I can fully explain how that hit me in every feel the way it did.

But I snapped a picture of them playing basketball in the driveway…
and just stood there in it - watching from behind the curtain in the upstairs window.

Because what looks like an ordinary moment to most people…
can feel like everything to a little boy who’s waited 13 years for it.

I had a plan.

Pack hospital bags.
Be prepared.
Be calm.
Be in control.

Instead… I ate a burger, went to sleep, and woke up in labor 7 weeks early with ZERO bags packed 🙃

Add in a 12-hour “clock,” a c-section, and a NICU stay… and it's safe to say — things didn’t exactly go according to plan.

Sharing Aiden’s birth story today because somehow that tiny 4 lb 11 oz baby is now 16 🥹

Lemme Tell Ya Bout A - posted & linked below ☺️

https://thenickeljar.com/lemme-tell-ya-bout-a/

He’s curious.
He’s persistent.
He’s paying attention in ways you might not expect.

🪙 New story on The Nickel Jar - linked below.

https://nckljr-mabvp.wpcomstaging.com/lemme-tell-you-bout-e/

The Nickel Jar: What Looks Like... Isn't Always What Is...

What looks like defiance is most often confusion. What looks like not listening is often him feeling like he’s drinking information from a fire hose. What looks like a breakdown might be frustration from not having the words to explain what’s going on in his head. What looks like shutdown is most often his brain reaching its limit.

New post. Linked below.

https://nckljr-mabvp.wpcomstaging.com/what-looks-like-isnt-always-what-is/

If I had a nickel every time I heard “But he looks normal.” 😑

I know people mean well. But that sentence carries more weight than most realize.

🔔 New Post - My Problem with the Word Normal - 🔗 below ⬇️

https://nckljr-mabvp.wpcomstaging.com/my-problem-with-the-word-normal/

Nobody tells you that becoming a special needs parent also means earning an unofficial PhD in Googling.

Late nights.
Waitlists.
Podcasts in the car line.
Reading research papers like they’re beach novels.

At some point, “downtime” just becomes research time.

And half of it isn’t even about fixing anything — it’s about making sure you’re not crazy.

If this is you… you’re not alone. 🪙
New post up. Linked in comments below.

Turns out, parenting a special needs kid comes with a side of unsolicited opinions, boundary testing, and learning who actually shows up.

SPOILER: I’ll still choose my kid every time 😉

New blog post - link in comments 😘

https://wp.me/pgQlTF-lm