07/13/2018
Did you envision birth as a finish line?
One of the things I write about in The Postnatal Depletion Cure is how most pregnant women will encounter an overwhelm of information, often seeming to rotate around potential risks and dangers, and conflicting advice around what to do and not do.
Meanwhile, all the people in a pregnant woman’s sphere, from close friends and family to complete strangers are happy and excited to share stories of pregnancy or birth, either their own horror stories, or memorable ones they have heard, and in the vein of telling a riveting story, they are scary and full of drama and suffering.
All the while, everything seems to be gearing up towards the looming due date. With so much focus and pressure on the impending birth and labour, it is no wonder then, that only later do we realise that birth is not the finishing line, but rather the starting point.
After the ordeal of childbirth, a message is sent out into the world broadcasting the length of labour, the drugs used (or not), the baby’s weight and gender. “Mother and Baby are doing well,” is the typical message. That is the last time that “Mother” shows up in the same sentence as “Baby”. And so begins what is a potentially a time of high, unrelenting pressure for a woman, in which intense focus on the baby is accompanied by a decided lack of pragmatic and emotional support for the baby’s mother.
What’s more, very few people seem willing to share their stories about Motherhood, in the same way they have about pregnancy and birth… …and into this unchartered territory a Mother will go.
The reality for modern parents is that the first time they are deeply involved in looking after a baby is their own. This is so common that we don’t really think about it, but that’s really a crazy fact!
Often, the only feedback we get from the world is through the baby’s milestones. And if your baby is not meeting the average expectations regarding these, then begins the worry and shame.
In the above scenario, the child is placed in the centre of the picture. Instead, imagine a more healthy and balanced situation, where Mum is placed in the spotlight, and the baby also, by being in close proximity to his/her mother.