07/22/2021
Going through deep transformation and transition is not easy.
To become the Man that I know I am capable of being takes a lot of shedding. For me it takes letting go of shame, grief, anger, pride, unworthiness, haunting shadows and stuff that’s not even understood cognitively. And by letting go I mean fully fu***ng diving into it and being with the uncomfortable, sometimes for days or even weeks before being able to fully move through and receive the medicine that is awaiting me. Family, purpose, relationship, community, finances, spiritual practice, it’s all related in my eyes. And it all has its way of coming around to break me down so I can learn how to build myself back up. But it’s not easy, at all. Sometimes we get the blessing of grace in our life, and sometimes we are meant to do much more than live a simple peaceful life and so the obstacles and lessons come to sculpt the lover, warrior, magician, and King that I am meant to be. And so here I am crying my eyes out at the pain I still carry and the various obstacles life has put on my path. Here I am humbly grateful to shed these tears, as the strong man I am I will not hold them in and create more walls and armor, I will dig, dig deep in my body mind and soul to offer them to great spirit and to my own pity as a confirmation that I have what it takes and I will find love and gratitude through it all. Here I am emptied, ready to be refilled and renewed.