Redirecting Children's Behavior Encinitas

Looking for a great summer camp for your elementary age kids? Please join us for a week of fun, learning, exploring, and growing. Register online at www.rcbencinitas.com

Kids Leadership Summer Camp:
Finding Compassion and Individual Passion
Dates: July 10-14, Mon thru Fri
Time: 9:00am-1:00pm
Ages: 5-11 years old
Cost: $250/child (siblings $225 each)
Location: 2110 Willowspring Pl, Encinitas, CA 92024
Topic: In this week long summer camp, we will discover our individual strengths and weaknesses, learn how to accept and encourage others’ strengths and weaknesses, find out what drives us individually, and make vision boards to inspire our future. Children will come away with an understanding of acceptance of themselves and others, and building blocks to drive their passions as they grow older. We use stories, art, games, projects, and activities each day. This year, we will even incorporate a day or two of hiking to get experience encouraging each other and working together as a team. Healthy snack included daily. Please bring your own lunch and water daily.

Planning Summer Camps in January?! It's hard to believe, but the time has come. Kids Leadership Camp 2017 will be the week of July 10-14. Details to come! Open to kids between 5-10 years old, M-F 9am to 12pm or 1pm. You can sign up online www.rcbencinitas.com (may have last year's info, but that's ok!)

Redirecting Children's Behavior Encinitas | Certified Parenting Instructor Sarah Wood | San Diego California Redirecting Children’s Behavior is an incredible parenting course for everyone. Whether you are a new parent or have children getting ready for college, RCB has valuable strategies that will fit into your family’s routine.

Parenting Tip: A question: How do you discipline? In the parenting education world, it's a widespread theme to discipline with a firm and kind stance or attitude. You are clear in your boundaries (the firm side) and communicate without hurt or humiliation (the kind side). It may sound simple, but let me tell you, it can be one of the hardest challenges to actually perform successfully all of the time. We can be kind to our kids--it's the love, pride, laughter, tears, hugs, silliness, listening, talking, etc. It's the warm and fuzzy. When we have to be firm, it's usually because our kids have challenged our boundaries (as kids do). In those moments, and the moments when they continue to push those boundary walls, it can be hard to keep the warm and fuzzy kindness. Often you have to let go of what you are doing to communicate those boundaries, and it can be difficult to be kind in that moment. Depending on your state of mind, or what the situation is that you had to let go of, channelling your inner zen to discipline with kindness can be VERY hard. Now, if we have no agenda and are fully centered, our kindness and patience is more available at the forefront. However, we are all busy, multitasking, taking care of a family, a household, trying to evolve a life as an adult parent---we often have an agenda. Always having that kindness come out first can be hard sometimes. Let me tell you though, that it is SO WORTH IT. That is what we, as parents, should be working on all the time. To let kindness be your go to outlet when you are challenged, not hurt, not humiliation. That is what we need to work on modeling and how we need to guide our kids. So, how do you discipline? With a firm and kind lead? Check in with yourself and your spouse, and start working on making the kindness be your initial outlet. We all need to work on it--ALL OF US. When our kids feel like we are really teaching them and feel listened to and respected (all coming from a simple kind and patient and understanding voice and clear boundaries), they learn and grow.

Hey SD locals,
Free Parenting Workshop this Wednesday, May 25 from 9-10am at Magical Child in Encinitas. The topic is "Taming Tantrums". Come on come all!

Parenting Tip: Unconditional love.....this is such a hard one for so many of us. It means still seeing the love connection when your kids are fighting, screaming at you, causing mischief, talking back, ignoring you, hurting you or someone else, damaging something, having a tantrum, and the list goes on. Those are the times when it can be SO hard for us as parents. It's not that we "forget" or "stop" loving our kids--they are OUR KIDS for goodness sakes! It's that we allow the other emotions we are feeling to take the front row and push the love to the back. When we do that, it can take awhile for the love to come back to it's rightful spot--up front. It really is all inside us, and it's our choice as parents as to how this plays out.

I noticed this last night while I was waiting at the dinner table for my 4 boys to stop constant chatter, uncontrollable giggles, playing with their food, etc so that we could have a conversation together (keeping it real here). I could feel myself starting to push the love feeling to the back and start to get annoyed and feel disrespected. I could hear my husband's tone of voice change as the same thing started to happen in him. I'll be honest and tell you that I waited over 20 minutes....a lot can happen in your brain in that amount of time! I felt a lot of emotions move in and out. I also felt myself make a clear choice to keep the love up front. By doing so, I was able to (finally!) chat about our days with my kids without a condescending tone, without making them feel bad. I still let them know that I wasn't ok with how long that took and how I was feeling, but I chose to keep it kind and clear. What a difference in the end result. After dinner, one of my kids opened up to me about some things that had been going on for awhile. The love connection was there (a little corny, I know!).

Now, does this happen all the time for me--no. I am in the process of learning this as new challenges arise each day. Some days I am better at this than others. Some days, I let that disrespected feeling swirl, and it is a hard one for me to move through. I know though, that the more I have the forethought to choose to keep the love in front, the more successful I will be at this crazy parenting adventure. It's quite the learning process for me, as I'm sure it is for many of you. Hope this piece of advice helps some of you keep that love upfront today as you ride the parenting roller coaster!

Parenting Tip: We are the most ultimate models for our kids when they are young. As they grow, their friends/peers evolve into their models. If you have young kids, keep that at the forefront of your communication with your children. What you do and say sets the stage for who and what they will start becoming. No pressure, eh?

We all have a vision (albeit cloudy sometimes) of the well rounded successful adult we want to have raised and put out into the world. I like this quote because it reminds me of just that. Where I want to be "tomorrow" is standing proud of who my kids have become as they have grown--no matter what direction they have taken. I want to know that the groundwork I laid as a parent has prepared them as best as possible for their future in ALL ways. When I fail or succeed, they see that and it is my job to teach them (and myself) to grow from that.That is what they need from me, and that is what your kids need from you. To be the best parent you can be on a daily basis. And we are all different, so my best is not your best on any given day, but it is MY best. Be confident of that and you will imprint that confidence on your kids. Happy Friday, my friends!

Local San Diego Parents:
Upcoming RCB Kids Leadership classes and Summer Camp
Limited space. Register online now!

Redirecting Children's Behavior Encinitas
New classes for children ages 6-11!

April: Building Confidence
Dates: April 12, 19, & 26
Time: 3:30pm-5:00pm
Ages: 6-11 years old
Cost: $95/child
Location: Village Park Rec #2, corner of Willowspring Dr & Mountain Vista, Encinitas 92024
Topic: Children will discover their individual strengths and weaknesses and start to recognize the same in others. They will learn the connection between their words and body language with confidence, and will understand the importance of encouraging those around them. We use stories, art, games, and activities in each class and a healthy snack is included each day.

Kids Leadership Summer Camp: Self Esteem
Dates: July 11-15, Mon thru Fri
Time: 9:00am-12pm, optional lunch bunch 12-1pm daily
Ages: 6-11 years old
Cost: $195/child, lunch bunch $5/day
Location: 2110 Willowspring Pl, Encinitas, CA 92024
Topic: In this week long summer camp, kids will immerse themselves in self discovery. They will come away with a growing understanding of their capabilities and internal motivation. We will discuss being comfortable in your own skin, becoming independent thinkers, going above and beyond in different situations, and ways to communicate what you are feeling. We use stories, art, games, projects, and activities each day. Healthy snack included daily. Optional lunch bunch (BYO) from 12pm-1pm each day.

A friend shared this today, and it is such a great read for all parents.

http://www.heysigmund.com/developmental-stage/

Phew! It's Normal. An Age by Age Guide for What to Expect From Kids & Teens - And What They Need... Being a kid or a teen is not for lightweights - it's tough out there! There are important things that need to be done, that only they can do. The nature of these jobs depends on the developmental stage they are at.

Parenting Tip: We can sometimes be quick to judge and criticize a situation that doesn't happen according to our plan or system. For instance, if your child drops something, spills something, forgets something, or even when they fail at trying something for the first time. We've all been there, and some days we handle those mess ups better than others. Have you ever been exasperated or frustrated when your child is trying to pour themselves a glass of milk (an attempt at independence) and it spills everywhere? Maybe your laptop was nearby or an important paper? Or your child was angry and threw some papers or books on the floor (expressing their frustration without hurting another)? In these moments of 'evolution' for our kids, we can sometimes be shocked and want the situation remedied immediately. It can enable a survival mechanism, and--depending on OUR day and attitude--we will react with patience or impatience. I know you guys have all had experience with that 'impatient' reaction, and we all know that is never met with cooperation by the other parties involved! Those papers on the floor are not going to be picked up without a fight, and that problem will magnify in the meantime.
I have an idea for everyone to try the next time you get in one of these all too common situations. Instead of reacting with judgement or criticism, try just DESCRIBING THE SITUATION. Feel your feelings, but let your words be just a description of what you see. You will help your child see the issue without fear of judgement, which allows their own problem solving skills to shine. So, just say "there's milk on the counter", or "there are books on the floor", etc. and see the difference in the response from the other party involved. Make sure your voice is not demeaning or patronizing, and just describe what happened. Then watch your kids become just that much more empowered and independent and responsible.

A great read and some good advice for those of you struggling with this.

How to Teach Frustration Tolerance to Kids Help kids develop coping strategies to manage frustration.

Parenting Tip: Ask your kids for their opinions and ideas. You'll be surprised (almost always in a good way!) at what they come up with. When my kids have a challenging situation, I do my best to be there to help them communicate with each other to figure out a solution. As a busy/multi-tasking parent, sometimes it can be easier to give them the words to say to each other to help the communication move. However, this doesn't give your kids the opportunity to think and problem solve. Yes, it does teach them peaceful communication, but thats your voice. What about their voice? Don't we ultimately want our KIDS to be able to know what to say on their OWN? If we give them the words to say, it short changes them on the chance to try new ways to communicate. It doesn't let their OWN voice be heard--even if it's different than what you were thinking. That can be a hard one for us controllers sometimes! :o) Instead of telling your kids to 'say sorry' or 'tell so and so _____', take a second (or two) and ask them what they think should happen right then. What's their idea on how to move forward and to work on the situation? Let them try and sometimes fail and try again, so they understand the power of their own mind and voice. If we are telling them what to say, they will lose the ability to think for themselves and know what to do when we aren't there.

Looking to make some changes to grow your family team? Sign up for individual coaching sessions in person or on the phone. Flexible scheduling to work for YOU. Whether you are overwhelmed and want to work out some major challenges, or just need some minor tweaking to help iron things out. Comment or PM for pricing and details.