Community in Schools: Incredible Years Program

Come see us this weekend between 10am-3pm at Durham Central Park!!! Don’t forget your mask!

Recruitment was a resounding success because both groups were quite full on week one!! We are expecting a few more parents to join next week which means our fall recruitment of pccofofiapy over.

Week one is easy breezy! We created group guidelines, discussed the structure of the group and each parent stated their goal for themselves and a goal for one of their children. I’m excited to see where the next 13 weeks takes us!!!

I hope everyone had a great summer! we are now beginning our fall recruitment. We are offering the Incredible Years 14 week parenting program in both English and Spanish on Monday and or Wednesday evenings. This evidence based class series meets once a week for 14 weeks and is completely free!

We will discuss topics such as: child led play, social and emotional coaching and ways to manage challenging behavior like whining, aggression, talking back and we will share tips about setting up solid household routines and chores!!

Message me if you’d like more details about our fall session. All classes will be held over zoom. Did I mention this is a free resource?!

Time is flying by! We only have five weeks left until we graduate a new set of parents! This cohort has been exceptionally committed, the attendance and participation has been fantastic!! We just finished week 9 where we discussed how to give clear, specific and positive commands. We also discussed the when/then principle.

Week 2 is complete. We talked to parents about the value of special time AKA child led play. Of course these awesome folks are used to playing with their kids but we stressed the value of letting the kids lead and choose the activity. I look forward to class this week and learning how it went!

We are off to a great start!! Week one of spring session has been completed!! We have over 25 parents ready to embark on this journey! I’m excited to learn more about them and their kids and to encourage them to reach their goals.

We are starting week 12!!! I can’t believe how quickly this group has gone by. This week we finish taking about time out and how to help kids learn to self regulate when they are agitated/over stimulated. This can be a controversial topic and some families choose to forgo time out for other methods. Regardless of a family’s philosophy we always discuss the benefits of setting limits. All parents agree that it’s hard to be consistent and to follow through with a consequence when kids are misbehaving. Next week we cover our last topic: natural and logical consequences.

Week six is completed. We had great discussions about how to give our kids clear, specific and positive praise statements. We talked about how challenging it can be to be observant and to keep on layering praises when we as adults feel tired and busy...because, life!! But the long term value of praise is high. Overtime when kids have struggles with peers or teachers they will have a “bank” of positive praises they can use as positive self talk. Next week we move on to incentives and sticker charts!! Let’s do this!!

Catching up...parents finished weeks 4 and 5 and we have discussed which emotions we want to see more of and also how to coach kids through difficult tasks like completing virtual schooling or chores around the house. We discussed how hard it is as parents to sit back and watch them "wash" dishes and make a gigantic mess but that this is an important step in helping them learn to become independent and build their confidence. Next week we move on to praise!

We finished week three of IY! We discussed emotion and social coaching. We talked about why it’s important to help kids label and name their emotions. Learning how to self regulate is a life long skill that needs to start in early childhood. When adults model positive ways to manage their own emotions we show our kids it’s OK to be mad/sad/lonely/frustrated and also happy/proud and confident. Sometimes kids see us having bad days, or crying or venting frustrations, they are watching closely to see how we react. It’s ok to tell them how we are feeling. We are responsible for giving kids as many tools as possible to help them navigate their feelings and learn how to calm themselves down when they are upset. Social behavior coaching is helping kids gain more friendship skills, learning how to stand up for themselves, to vocalize their feelings in their relationships and pointing out when kids are being kind or sharing or using their words with their friends. It has been a busy week but I’m excited about our three groups. The parents are very engaged and eager to put new skills into practice!

On this second week of IY content we covered some of the challenges or barriers to child led play which can include parents being too tired or too busy to fit it in. Or difficulties with sibling rivalry when both kids are eager for their parents attention. We brainstormed ideas and things we can say to our kids when they feel sad that special time is over. We also talked about how kids of all ages crave undivided attention from their parents even as young adults! Next week we start to discuss the coaching skills like emotion coaching, academic coaching and persistence coaching!!

This is the second week of IY for our fall Virtual session. Last week we established our group expectations, discussed the attendance policy and every parent set their goal for the class. This week we discussed our first topic....special time or child directed play! This is a critical skill for parents to master because it helps build attachment and increases opportunities for parent parent/child interaction. When we let our children pick the activity and we follow their interest we show them we are fully engaged and curious about their lives. It might seem overwhelming to incorporate another “thing” in our very busy lives right now but the good news is that 10 minutes of special time every day has been proved in research to be beneficial for children.