09/10/2021
There is a lot that worries me about kids and education today. They are certainly not getting the less stress, less drama version that we got. Things weren’t always rosy when we went to school - bullying, peer pressure, way too much homework, memorization vs. learning, just to name a few. We’ll say it toughened us up and made us stronger, but if we’re honest, it sucked. Schools do a better job with that stuff today than when they turned a blind eye to it in our day, so I don’t want to sound as though it’s all bad. Kids are learning more today and in a way that helps them more than we ever did. That should be recognized and celebrated.
But what kids ARE seeing today that we really didn’t have to see back then is the drama, arguing, and stress among the adults that are supposed to shield them. Masking, vaccinations, curriculum - all fair game and points worth working out, don’t get me wrong, but if we’re really honest with ourselves, it’s taking a major toll on our kids. They pay attention, they hear, they pick up on our social cues, our moods, our stress. I don’t have an answer to any of it, but it’s vital that we recognize that our kids are caught in the middle.
Here’s what I worry about the most. With that stress, that awareness that things aren’t totally ok, and that their school environment is a topic of intense debate, comes the continued message that they can get sick from their friends and teachers, or they can be the ones that get them sick. It’s wearing on them more than many of us want to admit. And for those of us who don’t believe that’s the case because, as I saw in the news the other day, “they don’t complain; it seems to be an adult problem….” I suggest the following:
Put your mask on when your kids get on the bus. For many of us, that’s 6:45 am. Do NOT take it off until 10:15 for any reason. Step outside and take it off for 15 minutes, but do NOT go near anyone for more than a few seconds. Right at 15 minutes, put your mask back on. At noon, take it off again for 15 minutes to eat lunch. Make sure you are appropriately distanced from any friends. Discourage yourself from talking to your friends too much, as it’s not safe. After 15 minutes for lunch, put your mask back on and keep it there until 3:45 pm when the bus returns. So for those nine hours, you’ll have a “mask break” for two 15 minute periods. Do that five days in a row and let me know how you feel.
I don’t say that to be dramatic - that’s the reality for kids. Teachers get a prep period and a contract-protected 30 minute lunch, sometimes back to back. Administrators can close their door and take their mask off in their office for stretches at a time. Trust me, I did the same thing. Most adults at work can do that. The ONLY group that cannot is kids.
The news isn’t totally wrong; kids aren’t complaining very much. Should they tell the teacher who keeps reminding them to put it up? Should they tell the principal who might send them home in embarrassment? Or should they tell the parent who is amped (either way) to the point of upsetting them even more? Kids aren’t stupid. They learn to keep their heads down and their mouths shut - covered or uncovered. They don’t want to be part of the drama. They just want to go to school and be with their friends.
Kids have told me how they don’t feel great at the end of the day. They tell me how they can’t wait to get off the bus to rip that thing off their faces. They tell me they’re afraid to say anything because they don’t want to get in trouble or be made to feel like a bad person. You can call me an alarmist, a bad person, a bad role model, whatever you want. But I’d be hesitant to call these kids liars. They’re not. And they’re hurting. But they’re afraid to tell you. As the adults in the room, we need to rethink what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. And we need to actually put kids first ahead of our fears. Now.
