Better Than Before Divorce

The standard co-parenting advice tells you to put the kids first and find common ground. But that advice assumes the other person is operating from the same reasonable playbook.

This week's newsletter offers tools for those of you struggling to peacefully co-parent.

How to Manage Co-Parenting With a Difficult Ex Successfully Learn how to manage co-parenting with a difficult ex by shifting to parallel parenting. Protect your peace and treat communication like a business today.

First, I love Bill Eddy’s Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm (BIFF) Method. It gives you a way to communicate that stays focused, reduces unnecessary escalation, and keeps you out of the back-and-forth that tends to make things worse. However, there are situations where even clear, thoughtful communication won’t change the dynamic.

In those cases, the more effective option may be to step out of unproductive exchanges and move toward parallel parenting instead of co-parenting.

You’re absolutely right that your kids are watching - not just what happens but how you handle it! Choose to teach them what conflict and respect look like, and what it means to stay grounded when someone else isn’t.

You can’t control your co-parent’s behavior. But you still get to decide how you respond. And over time, that’s what shapes what your kids carry forward into their own relationships.

I know the heavy weight that settles in your chest when you think about your kids and divorce. Every parent’s biggest fear is: “How will this affect my kids?”

In my latest blog post, I’m sharing how we can guide our children through this transition so they can grow up to build secure, loving connections of their own. You’ve got this, and they have you. 💙

How Divorce Can Affect Children's Future Relationships: A Guide Learn how to protect your children's future relationships during a divorce. Focus on steadiness, trust, and modeling healthy conflict resolution.

Answer: You’re allowed to protect your privacy to whatever extent feels right for you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation—or a correction—just because they’ve made an assumption.

A simple, calm response like “There’s more to the situation, but I’m keeping that private or I appreciate you respecting our privacy” is often enough, and then you get to move on without engaging further.

Answer: First, thank you for asking such an honest question. All of us have been there, but it takes a lot of courage to own your mistake and ask how to fix it.

In my experience, the most important thing you can do is sincerely apologize for what happened. It’s okay that you’re not perfect - no one is! Apologizing models that same behavior for your kids, who will also make mistakes. You might share how you will work to prevent the situation from happening again, and if appropriate, ask how the situation felt to them. Then, give yourself grace. You are navigating a difficult situation, and not every choice will be perfect. You are still a great parent!

Watching your kids navigate this transition is so hard, and it’s natural to want to overcompensate. But your calm, steady presence matters so much more than getting every single parenting moment right. 💙 Take a few minutes to go over this quick read in today's blog post ⬇️

https://www.betterthanbeforedivorce.com/blog/why-your-kids-need-you-to-be-steady-not-perfect