Homing Instinct

08/05/2026

06/10/2026

“Recover” literally means to get back. *
Healing is not about becoming a different person. Even though it can feel like that.
Whenever someone would tell me I had grown, or whenever I hear teenagers say they’ve grown, a voice in my head goes: “Yeah - but also, you just became who you were. You were always this person…”

* It comes from the Latin recuperare - “to regain.” And the prefix re- “back to the original place.”

03/14/2026

One of the hardest parts of parenting a struggling teen is knowing they are capable of a future they can’t yet imagine. And often, it’s because they haven’t yet had the experiences that make hope believable.

This piece explores why hope can be so hard for teenagers to access, and what adults can do to help build the experiences that allow it to grow.

Why do teenagers sometimes feel so hopeless about the future? Often it’s not because they lack hope — it’s because they haven’t yet had the experiences that make hope believable. This essay explores how young people gradually gather the moments that show belonging, connection, and peace are ...

11/05/2025

When your teen suddenly has to go somewhere — grabs the keys, steps out, says they “just need to get out” — it can seem impulsive, dramatic, or avoidant.

It’s emotional overwhelm. This is what’s going on ⬆️

11/04/2025

While anger, at face value, can seem oppositional, defiant, or rude— sometimes it’s a defense mechanism.
A way to protect against shame, fear, or vulnerability that feels too big to touch.

11/03/2025

When your teen is shrugging you off, being avoidant, withdrawn, or doing something that just feels confusing or frustrating — chances are, it’s a defense mechanism.

It’s not meant to hurt you, or to be careless, defiant, or disrespectful. It’s their mind’s way of trying to stay safe — to avoid pain, shame, or vulnerability that feels like too much to handle in that moment.

When you can see your teen’s defenses for what they are — signs of distress, not disrespect, protection not opposition — you can respond with curiosity instead of control.

🤍

10/09/2025

Nothing can rupture trust or shake a relationship quite like a lie. And yet, it happens all the between teenagers and the adults who care for them.

Because the word “lying” carries so much moral weight, we sometimes miss what’s really going on underneath, especially when it’s chronic or compulsive.

The truth is, teenagers lie to protect themselves, to maintain privacy, to avoid shame or punishment, to feel some sense of control, to create a world/reality that feels bearable, to feel better about themselves…

And no, this doesn’t make lying okay. But it does point us toward a new direction: creating the safety where the truth can finally be told 💛

06/10/2025

For some teen girls who are hurting, overwhelmed, or aching for connection - s*x can seem like the fastest way to feel valued, close, or seen.

We have to see what’s really going on - and start offering teens what they’re truly searching for: connection, safety, and a sense of self that doesn’t rely on being chosen.

05/13/2025

When I was in treatment, I dreamt of going home! Oh, how I couldn’t wait to be back - eat dinner with my family, drive the car, see my friends, go to my favorite sandwich spot, sleep in my own bed…

But no one really prepares you for how hard it can be— Returning to the fast pace of life.
The old triggers. The way no one quite understands where you’ve been—or who you’ve become.

We created the Post-Treatment Support Group because coming home is a different kind of challenge. And you don’t have to navigate it alone 💛

Our next 6-week group is for teen girls who’ve been in treatment (wilderness, residential, inpatient, TBS, etc.) and starts May 27th.
It’s a space to reconnect, reflect, and move forward together.

✨ Come as you are
💬 Share your story
🤝 Connect with others who get it
🌱 Keep growing

Link in bio for all the details and sign-up! Feel free to message with any questions 💗