In The Arena Coaching & Consulting

Got some plans for the end of 2023? Want a promotion? Or do you want to work less? Do you have a project that goes live?

If you're clear about what you want or don't want, you have to decide how to make that happen! The timing is ideal right now to create what you want more of, whatever that is!

My planning session for the fall will be on Wed, Aug 30 at 1p CT, 2p ET and 11a PT. Link is https://buff.ly/3puRGOC

Ever wonder how you life ended up the way it has?

If you do life on auto pilot, you'll default to what's gotten you ahead so far.

For me, that's always been hustling.

If you want to create a life with less hustle, be to do so.

My planning session for the fall will be on Wed, Aug 30 at 1p CT, 2p ET and 11a PT. Link is https://buff.ly/3puRGOC

My friend tells us ALL to tell more stories so here goes!

I've been a chronic 'hustler' since forever. I used to blame it on my bosses (good ones because I loved them, bad ones because I didn't and had to work to 'prove' myself), my family of origin (I began work when I was about 10 working in a family hardware store) and other excuses. I also blamed the work I loved and work I hated. I could justify anything. The long hours were temporary, it's just for this project, I'll only work for 15 minutes tonight (only to find myself at my laptop two hours later).

The problem was (and still is) that I like my job and the work I do. And again, I can justify anything. I'm just working on a nomination for someone to get an award, I'm HELPING someone out, someone needs me... I always had an excuse and it was just that - another reason to keep working. Odd considering I'm writing this as my daughter is now waiting patiently by my side to FINISH work for the day. Geez...

And what I'm finding out (regretfully, after some anger and resentment, mostly on my part), I MUST advocate for myself. I determine the hours I work, the volume I work, how people treat me and what I allow. THAT'S ME!

is hard. So is being a leader, at work and at life and your home! You must practice it daily and ! It's putting boundaries into place so I don't lapse into habits that really don't serve me or my people (clients, family, myself, etc.).

PM me if you need to get your life back and/or get a boundary refresher!

How do you prioritize what's most important to you?

For me, it's quiet time each morning, prayers, a walk and no work past mid afternoon. It's the biggest act of faith to NOT hustle from the time I wake up each day until I crash each night. It's not easy! And I'd never do it if I wasn't intentional about my space, owning my value, what my time is worth and what I can can't do anymore.

If you want to be more intentional about this fall, be mindful about how you want to get it done.

My planning session for the fall will be on Wed, Aug 30 at 1p CT, 2p ET and 11a PT. Link is https://buff.ly/3puRGOC

While crafting this post, I accidentally deleted what I was writing and had to start over. Oddly enough, that was the SECOND time I’ve done the same thing (no idea what I did) in the same week. Insert head smack here…

And a PERFECT example about our . If you’ve heard me or talk about this, the concepts of strengths are mentioned with and your (from book, ‘The Big Leap).

To be clear, you have the most neurons in the pathways (in your brain) where you’re already good at something. For me, I can crank out a PowerPoint pretty quickly. If I must spend hours in Excel and ensure I’m SUPER detailed so I don’t make even one mistake, I’ll be a puddle of goo at the end of the day.

In this season of getting past mid year reviews and planning for how we want the rest of the year to go, let’s get clear on what we do best, what our strengths are (what strengthens us) and what are our weaknesses (what weaken us to a puddle of goo). In other words, what do you excitedly look forward to doing vs. what you procrastinate doing almost weekly! And asking yourself, ‘How can I do more of the stuff that only I do with unabashed remarkableness?!?’

PM if you’re not clear on your zone of genius, your strengths and how to put them to work for you!

How easy is it for you to get moving? Have you been deep into the 'hustle culture' that it's almost become who you are and what you do on repeat daily?

As I've alluded to often, my day used to begin so early, often before 5a. I took calls, stopped to get my daughter off to school, started work again, sometimes took a break for lunch (sometimes not), sometimes took a walk (often did not), worked until 4p, got my daughter from school, made dinner, had a little bit of family time, got my daughter to bed and then packed the rest of the evening with more work and then off to bed. And this on repeat for years.

The hardest re-programming I've had to redo ON THE REGULAR is to stop this cycle.

For me, this includes taking a walk before my day starts (along with prayers and journalling).

It's also a practice of LOOKING UP - taking pictures of beautiful sunrises, NOT sitting at my computer, reading a book.

What do you need to do more (or less of) right now?

I know I've had a recurring 'thought swirl' regarding leaders. This one isn't great, another doesn't support me, yet another is kind, etc.

And in reading MBS's book (that has very little BS, btw), it's held up a mirror for me to review some of those relationships and the role I played in them working and not working. No one is every 100% or evil (even Disney movies don't show characters like that!).

Taking the time to 'thicken the narrative' (thanks for these words ) and to get super clear about what I did then and how we can change a relationship going forward.

I've asked if this sounds like a good idea - historically, owning our crappy stories, being honest and seeing if you can make things better. It may not be possible. And then again, personal insights, taking ownership and moving forward with renewed clarity always sounds like a win to me!

Post freedom celeiebrations, I thought I'd post two annual family picture sessions.

The first one on the left was all about me having the perfect hair, not sweating through my blazer and juggling it all. After the session, I noticed that my boss has tried to call me during our 30 min family pic time. It was on Saturday evening! He didn't have anything to say, just wanted to talk about a few things. Meanwhile, I was navigating to an ice cream place to pay off the 'bribe' to my child for holding it together during picture time! It's exhausting to even remember this...

In the second photo on the right - I'm embracing my curls, I wore no jacket and was learning to lean into my husband much more for the things I need, literally and metaphorically speaking (his support, my outsourcing school emails to him, etc.). I laughed during this session too. AND I've never been less certain about my future. Weird how that happens, right?

I still don't have it all down. I do my work daily. I trust and pray daily. I talk with friends, rest more (still have to 'work' at resting) and know, more than ever, I don't have to know it all. Life isn't about certainty, it's about the journey (as my friend Bob tells me often). I know it in my head - my work is letting it seep into my heart!

This book has been a great read! I implicitely trust MBS and have a 'cheat card' for the 'Coaching Habit' questions near my laptop. He's the trifecta - smart, funny and curious!

Talk about some STICKY conversations though if you implement what this book is advocating... AND can't we all envision that nightmare work relationship that almost crippled us!?!?

I'm sure I'm not the only one... And MBS shows us we all hard a part of play in the deterioration as well as taking an active role in ensuring future relationships don't end this way.

The can be a game changer.

If Brené Brown says “the wisdom is real!” I’m inclined to believe her 🙂.

If Amy Edmondson “it’s a practical guide” then I’m intrigued.

Michael Bungay Stanier’s new book *How to Work with (Almost) Anyone* is a the practical guide to building psychological safety with your key people, and working relationships that are safe, vital, and repairable.

It’s a fast, practical read and you should snag your copy now.

Listen to my latest interview, all about women in leadership, being your own best advocate and growing, and leading in a culture that wasn't created for all of us.

https://buff.ly/440uo1O

Thanks to .Womens.Network & for hosting me.

While I have some good practices in place now regarding when I wake up, start work, take work calls, setting aside time for field trips with Haley and time for a daily walk, it’s always hard for me to push away from my computer during the day.

Despite the sticky notes that prompt me ‘Is this the best use of your time now?’

Actually no, not 20 minutes on IG this morning! Yet, I always used to blame my corporate job for this.

Truth is, I continue to discover patterns in my life that are keeping me from living my best, most fulfulled life.

What things (tasks, silly things, mindless scrolling, always doing everything, being an OAM [over achieving mom], etc.) are preventing you from living your best life right now?

For me, it's typically screens. What's your 'numbing' go to thing?