Cecil Taylor Ministries

Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: How to Forgive Others

To wrap up this blog series on apologies, we need to turn the table and consider how to forgive others when we have been wronged. Specifically, how do we receive an apology?

Experts and culture have plenty of ideas on how to forgive others. While good ideas abound, let's stick with the biblical view.

First, it's clear we are supposed to have a forgiving nature. When Peter asked Jesus (Matthew 18:21-22) how many times we are supposed to forgive repeat offenders, as many as seven times, Jesus instead told him "seventy times seven." In other words, don't keep score but keep forgiving.

Of course, the reason is that God keeps forgiving us. As Paul says in Ephesians 4:32 (NIV):

+++ "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

But I don't interpret that we forgive without thinking. Truly, we may have been hurt by someone's actions. When Jesus gently restored Peter (in John 21:15-19) after Peter had denied him three times before Jesus's crucifixion, Jesus asked three questions of Peter. Jesus gave Peter three chances to make good by confirming how much Peter loved him. Jesus didn't just say, "Oh, Peter, that denial thing. Don't worry, it's all right, I forgive you." Peter did have to go through a process of remembering each denial and specifically answering for it.

When someone apologized to me in a blanket way for "anything I've done wrong to you," I told them we needed to discuss the specifics of how they had hurt me. They did not realize how much hurt I was carrying and why. In a sense, our discussion was similar to Peter's reinstatement. Once this person had realized specific hurts and had apologized for them, I forgave them and wiped the slate clean.

One story about forgiveness that is true but not exactly biblical is the idea that you forgive to heal yourself. Jesus didn't say, "Forgive seventy times seven so you feel better." Forgiveness intends to restore relationship.

However, we know some relationships may not be possible to be restored. We may be carrying hurt from someone who is now deceased, or doesn't want to recognize the harm they've done, or is toxic to us and should keep a distance. We may need to heal for our own sake, both because Jesus said to, and so we can abide by Paul's admonition in Ephesians 4:31 (right before his quoted verse above):

+++ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

In Paul's equation, cleansing ourselves of bitterness and its malicious cousins allows us to be kind and compassionate toward others.

Forgiving others is honestly one of the toughest things we'll do. But our singular thought should be that we forgive because God constantly forgives us, and we can allow such forgiveness to flow through us to others.

=== My new free gift, the Practical Faith Game Plan, will help you chart a path to living your faith seven days a week. Please register to receive it by visiting CecilTaylorMinistries. com and responding to the pop-up box.

Freewheeling Blog: Remember a Spiritual Mother

I have a mother, now deceased. I have a stepmom, still alive. And I have a number of spiritual mothers - women who poured into me and influenced my life. One spiritual mother is Susan Hoff.

Susan happened to be the wife of my middle school football coach, Ronnie, but more importantly, she was my middle school Sunday School teacher. In the tiny town of Runge, Texas, Susan was often my personal Sunday School teacher on the weeks when I was the only student.

I felt so bad for her on those weeks. Susan diligently prepared the lesson. Usually we would have two to four students. But at least once a month, the preacher's kid (me) was the only one who showed up.

The most awkward moments were when Susan would ask a question to the class, which meant me. Sometimes I had an answer, sometimes not. She would try to guide me into the answer. I knew it was frustrating, but she kept her emotions mostly in check.

Susan taught good lessons, as I recall. But I was learning something else about faith every week. Susan's consistency demonstrated how we're not called to be successful but faithful.

Fast forward about 15 years. I was scheduled to lead a weekend youth lock-in at my Dallas church. Two years earlier, the youth experienced a Planned Famine, in which you locked in for 30 hours and mostly fasted (juice was allowed) while studying the problem of world hunger. It was well-attended, and our youth leaders were confident a repeat event would be as well. A lot of high schoolers and middle schoolers signed up. The youth pastor was going to be absent, so I would lead.

Well, only two middle school boys showed up. I was devastated. I took a break to pray in the sanctuary. While it was OK for me to be there with the two boys, it just seemed like a waste of time. I considered cancelling the event.

But while praying, God reminded me of Susan Hoff. What would Susan do? I knew what she did for me. She would keep going, knowing she was entrusted with the ones (or the one, in my case) who attended.

It turned into a wonderful weekend. I asked questions to a room of two, much like Susan. Through dedicated time together, the two boys and I built friendships that last to this day, decades later.

Whenever ventures look daunting and worthless, I think of my spiritual mother, Susan Hoff. I have no idea where she is or whether she is still alive. But her spirit has influenced me so many times. The lessons Susan taught are embedded in me, but her most important lesson is the one that often propels me.

Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: Introspection after Impact

When we do harm, even if unintentionally, our image of ourselves as a good person is threatened. As I mentioned earlier in this series on putting faith into practice by apologizing, we try to convince the other person - and ourselves - that our intent was not to harm or offend them. This is how we defend our precious view of ourselves.

But once we do the work of apologizing for our impact - not our intent - hard work remains. We must be introspective about why impact happened.

It's difficult to inspect ourselves until we redefine "good person." Typically, we see a "good person" as one who doesn't make mistakes, one who doesn't harm others. What if we redefine "good person" as one who acknowledges mistakes, rectifies them as much as possible, and analyzes what went wrong and how to prevent future mistakes?

After decades of driving, I had my first accident that impacted another person. At a slow speed, I struck a motorcyclist from behind. As vehicles lined up in an odd-angle right turn lane where you had to strain to look back for oncoming traffic, I had heard him gun his engine in front of me and thought he had left. In actuality, he had then hit the brakes, determining that he couldn't make it into the traffic flow. When I accelerated to get into an opening and turned my head forward, I was stunned to see him still there. I slammed on the brakes but couldn't come to a full stop before I bumped his vehicle and jarred him.

I evaluated why this had happened. I decided I needed a new procedure. After looking back into traffic, I needed to make one last check to the right to see if anything had changed since I last looked before accelerating.

Similarly, when we have offended or harmed someone, we need to evaluate how to prevent future occurrences.

Then when we inevitably harm someone again, we need a plan for recovering gracefully. We can pause and listen when corrected. We can respond with "thank you" rather than "I'm sorry you took it that way." Instead of defensively explaining our intent, we can say, "I'm going to sit with that."

Such an approach builds our stamina. We stay in the conversation even when it feels tense, awkward, or emotional.

This process helps when we revisit the apology series core passage from Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV), in which Jesus instructs us:

===“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."===

Jesus gives the high-level command, but it is easy to see a lot of details are missing from a potentially messy conversation. We can make it less messy with introspection in advance and discipline in the moment.

===I'm so excited about season 6 of the Practical Faith Academy. Some great guests are coming aboard, with Art Wilson as the first. Even though he despised gang members, God called Wilson into ministering to them. We discuss his incredible, hazardous journey on Season 6, Episode 1, available now. You'll learn the amazing things God can do when you obey. Visit the podcast section of my website or search for "Practical Faith Academy" on my YouTube channel or your favorite podcast platform.===

Podcast Blog: Season 6, Episode 1 - Art Wilson, Gangs, Guns & God

Can you imagine God calling you to minister to people you despise? To put your life in jeopardy in the process? To have to explain this mission to your family?

Art Wilson experienced these scenarios and much more when God called him to gang ministry. A Florida resident, Wilson began by approaching gangs on his own, walking into the most dangerous neighborhoods of Chicago to build relationships and tell gang members about Jesus. His ministry eventually grew with more people and more sites - from a Florida prison to the streets of Belize.

Wilson's compelling story highlights God's outreach to all people, God's providence and protection, and what God can do when we obey. This is a longer podcast than normal but well worth your time.

I've known Art for a few years. His book and his stories are compelling. His faith is sincere and deep. Every time I speak with Art, I come away inspired. You will, too, as you listen to this podcast.

Highlights of the podcast:
3:20 What a seven-day practical faith means to Wilson
5:09 Wilson was not originally sympathetic about gang members, but God called him to minister to them
9:54 Why Wilson felt led to travel from Florida to approach gangs in Chicago
12:00 Wilson started by simply taking gang members to lunch
14:55 Gang members listened because they knew they had holes in their lives
17:22 No one is beyond the reach of God
19:40 What Wilson’s family thought about his dangerous ministry to gangs
23:46 The scriptural theme of the ministry
25:10 The importance of faith in a venture
27:54 How his ministry expanded into prison ministry
33:47 Why the ministry expanded to gangs in Belize
36:39 How God’s mysterious action inspired him to write a second book on the Belize experience
39:19 How God multiples our obedience into amazing providence
42:52 The hardest part of putting faith into practice
46:08 How you can find the book and bring Art to your church or organization to speak

The episode is also available on major podcast platforms (Apple, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube, and others) and hosted on Podbean. Search on each platform for "Practical Faith Academy."

Cecil Taylor Ministries has been working during 2026 on free gifts that help both your faith life and your parenting. So, this month’s report to our Facebook followers highlights free options and services you may not have seen.

WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING
- The main CecilTaylorMinistries. com site now offers a free gift called the Practical Faith Game Plan. This downloadable document describes a three-step process for putting your faith into practice. Register to receive it on our home page.

- Meanwhile, our satellite site, UnisonFamily. com, also offers a free gift called 7 Trendy Parenting Styles that Fail – and 1 that Actually Works. It can be tempting to chase a magic formula for parenting, but most are not built on a sound foundation. This piece warns you what to watch out for and recommends one trendy style that closely matches Unison Parenting Philosophy. Head over to UnisonFamily. com to download it.

- I participated in an Easter Egg Hunt author giveaway and promotion during March/April. As a result, 173 new subscribers are receiving my free monthly newsletters, Ministry Connection and Backstage Pass. Ministry Connections contains practical faith tips, a personality feature, and deeper updates on the ministry than you get here. Backstage Pass is a behind-the-scenes look at the ministry; next week’s edition will include a cover reveal of my new book! Find out what you’re missing. Register for the newsletters on the home page of CecilTaylorMinistries. com.

WHAT’S AHEAD
- In preparing for a lot of summer business and personal travel, I’m recording podcasts in advance. During May, we’ll record three and edit five, well ahead of our normal pace of two per month.

- May is also about writing, writing, writing beyond my usual social media blogging. The most important is working on my devotional book, “The 40-Day Spiritual Soak: Immersing Yourself in the Bible’s Favorite Verses.” I’m about one-quarter done.

- The writing continues with contributions to external sources. I write with fellow authors for the Man Cave Blog on DrKatherineHayes. com, and my next entry will appear in mid-May. I have written for two Chicken Soup for the Soul books; now I’m submitting candidate pieces to three upcoming books with deadlines throughout the summer. I’ll spend part of May working on my entries.

Thanks for following Cecil Taylor Ministries!

Blessings, Cecil Taylor

P.S. – I’ve got to plug my May Practical Faith Academy podcasts, because my guests are excellent. In the first half of May, Art Wilson joins to discuss his thrilling but rewarding work with gang members. You’ll be moved by what God has done and what obedience to God unleashes. In the second half of May, best-selling author David Gregory shares life-changing ideas on how to make your faith journey easier. Find the PFA podcasts on our website or by searching podcast platforms for “Practical Faith Academy.”

Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: Anatomy of an Apology

Who does the work during an apology? The offending person or the offended person?

When we are in the wrong, we may think extracting a statement of forgiveness from the offended person is the goal. Then everything is right.

I once had someone seek my forgiveness by saying, "If I have ever done anything to harm you, I apologize." That wasn't good enough for me. I felt this person had actually done several harmful things and weren't acknowledging them. Fortunately, when I challenged them, we had a good conversation that settled things.

Let's look at a couple of models for properly apologizing and seeking forgiveness.

Maimonides, a Jewish philosopher and Rabbinic scholar in the 12th century, defined five steps toward forgiveness.

1. Confession - naming and owning the harm.
2. Change - starting to change and transform.
3. Accepting the consequences - restitution and suffering consequences
4. Apology - asking for forgiveness
5. Choice - making a different choice when the time comes again.

A few years ago, I apologized for harm I had done. Part of that apology was this fifth step of choice. I promised to not do the same again to them AND to not to do the same to anyone, describing a better approach I would take instead. And I have kept that promise.

Guy Winch, Ph.D., defined his own apology model in Psychology Today magazine:

1. A clear statement of sorrow
2. An expression of regret for what happened
3. An acknowledgement that social norms or expectations were violated
4. An empathy statement acknowledging the full impact of our actions on the other person
5. A request for forgiveness

This is pretty good, especially because it focuses on impact rather than intent, but step 4 doesn't go as far as Maimonides's step 3 of restitution.

A very important aspect of both models is we request forgiveness toward the end, not the beginning. Also, the granting of forgiveness is not mandatory. We should request forgiveness, but the result is not up to us.

I realize we can feel awkward or misaligned with God if the person doesn't forgive us, especially because of the core passage of Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV), where Jesus said:

===“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."===

But as I said in the first post of this series, Jesus's key word is "reconcile." Reconciliation takes both people. An offended person may see us as toxic or have a hardness of heart about forgiving. If we follow the model of a proper apology with full-heartedness and make proper restitution but are still shunned, then we have done what we can.

The point is, we should not be focused on the outcome of receiving forgiveness but on doing our part to properly apologize and repair. As Rick Hightower explains in his book, "Running While Black," we should avoid an approach that seeks forgiveness but requires little from us:

===I am dumping the need to fix this on the person who was harmed. They are fixing this by offering forgiveness to me. I am not required to do anything.===

When we are wrong, let us do the work of reconciliation and repair by using a proper model of an apology.

===Properly apologizing should be a component of our faith walk as we treat neighbors as ourselves. My latest free gift, The Practical Faith Game Plan, establishes the basics for living a seven-day practical faith. It's a short but deep read, giving you tangible steps to put your faith into daily practice. Receive it by registering via the pop-up box at CecilTaylorMinistries. com.===

Podcast Blog: S5, E24 - Sharon Collins, Becoming His Masterpiece

Sharon Collins combines art and written meditations in her devotional book series, "Becoming His Masterpiece." Collins has an interesting personal story, as she felt called after retirement to take up both art and authorship. God has used both aspects to lead others while helping Collins grow spiritually herself.

In this episode, I’ll ask Collins about both her book writing and spiritual journeys. She has a lot to share about how to slow down and listen for God’s voice in a fast-paced culture.

One thing I enjoyed about this episode was getting to Collins as someone who has similar views on putting your faith into practice. Every day is an opportunity to represent God. But we get in our own way; the hardest part about putting faith into practice is our own selfishness.

I also appreciate how Collins answered God's call in new areas of competency. She started small, preparing herself by taking art and writing classes. Then she faithfully continued toward publishing not one, but three books.

Highlights of this podcast:

2:45 What seven-day practical faith means to Collins

4:17 How God provided as Collins transitioned from retirement into authorship

8:51 Why we always need to say yes to God’s call

12:55 What readers get out of her combination of artwork and meditative writing

16:04 Collins calls herself a slow spiritual learner. How does God teach her?

22:01 What a life lived “upside-down” looks like

27:14 How to find Collins’ website and books

The Practical Faith Academy podcast can be played directly on the Cecil Taylor Ministries website at https://www.CecilTaylorMinistries.com/podcast. While on the site, please check out everything Cecil Taylor Ministries offers, including our Instant Content books and video studies for individual learners, small groups, and churches.

The episode is also available on major podcast platforms (Apple, Spotify, Audacy, iHeartRadio, YouTube) and hosted on Podbean. Search on each platform for "Practical Faith Academy."

Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: Apologizing for the Impact You Caused

Why does it feel like people are bad at apologizing to us? Probably for the same reason we're bad at apologizing ourselves.

Deep down, none of us want to be seen as a bad person.

When we offend or injure someone in some way, we don't want to be thought of as a bad person or to feel like a bad person. So, we try to convince the other person - and ourselves - that our intent was not to harm or offend them.

This brings about a terrible apology, frankly. And I've given it myself many times.

It's like saying, "But I didn't mean to rear-end your car! That makes everything OK, right?" The other person would surely say, "Look at my car! It's not OK!"

Imagine that other car is the other person's feelings. Or whatever it is we have damaged. In that light, it feels like a ridiculous argument to focus on our intent.

We also have to consider that when we focus on intent to soothe ourselves, we have now put the wounded person in a position where they must take care of our anxiety. So, not only did we impact them, but they must address our feelings before, or if, theirs get addressed.

Psychotherapist Karen Grierson points out an even worse case. "Non-apologies tied to defending intent are further hurtful because they create a dynamic in which ONLY the offender’s intent has any validity or relevance to the exchange in progress," Grierson says. "This has the unfortunate effect of pushing the other party out of the exchange, effectively 'punishing' them for having a reaction."

We go to extremes to protect ourselves, even when we have harmed others.

Harriet Lerner, author of "Why Won't You Apologize?", identifies words or phrases we shouldn't use in an apology:
- "But" or "If" - These not only undermine the apology but may make it seem like the offended person's feelings are invalid.

- "I'm sorry you feel that way" - This classic response focuses on the other person's response to the incident, not your responsibility for causing it.

- Anything that implies everything is fine since you have apologized. But you may have to go further to repair what you harmed.

We're headed in the right direction when we acknowledge impact rather than explain intent. It's better to leave intent out of the discussion altogether.

Jesus didn't talk about our intent, but rather healing the relationship, in our core passage of Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV):

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

So, what should we say in an apology to heal the situation? I'll share a classic model in my next post.

===My latest free gift, The Practical Faith Game Plan, establishes the basics for living a seven-day practical faith. It's a short but deep read, giving you tangible steps to put your faith into daily practice. Receive it by registering via the pop-up box at CecilTaylorMinistries. com.===

Seven-Day Practical Faith Blog: The Command to Apologize

I don't know about you, but I imagine you are as bad at apologizing as I am.

Most of the time, I don't want to apologize. When I do, I apologize badly.

Yet, there is a good reason to apologize. Jesus told us to.

We'll get to that in a moment. But first, this is the initial installment of a four-part series on apologizing. I believe apologies are needed more than ever. As Christians, we need to be kind and considerate, healing and restoring, making good when we have been wrong. Apologies must become part of our regular practice of faith as Jesus followers.

Now that we are back to Jesus, let's hear his imperative on apologizing from Matthew 5:23-24 (CEB).

>>>Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and go. First make things right with your brother or sister and then come back and offer your gift.

Freewheeling Blog: The Cat that Took Over the Sermon

My preacher dad was never fazed by babies or toddlers crying or disrupting his sermon. He was only partially disturbed when the president of the United States showed up after the service had started (https://www.ceciltaylorministries.com/post/random-blog-a-sermon-fit-for-a-president). By then, my father had already experienced the ultimate disruption - a visiting cat.

Back before air conditioning was prevalent, we would open up the windows of the church to allow a breeze. At least, that was the hope. In Texas, raising a window might raise the sanctuary temperature without the breeze's benefit.

Also back in the day, Sunday evening church was as common as Sunday morning. You worshipped on Sunday morning. You came back for more worship on Sunday evening. On a summer Sunday evening, my dad encountered his biggest nemesis.

As my dad delivered the sermon one sweaty night in our small town church, a cat leaped up into the open window (no screens on these windows). This particular window was near the front pew of the sanctuary, so the congregants took notice. Then the kitty leaped from the window sill, not just onto the front pew, but onto the top of the pew where you rested your back.

The cat wobbled for a moment before gaining its balance on the thin perch. My father continued preaching, but the eyes and attention of the congregation began to drift.

This tabby had more in mind. Gathering itself, it leaped to the top of the second pew, barely making it. It teetered precariously, but as cats often do, it was able to hold firm.

My father said by this point, no one was listening to his sermon as he droned on. The cat was their focus.

This feline kept going. It leaped from the second to the third pew, clutching the thin top margin just enough not to fall off. Then from the third pew to the fourth pew.

By this point, the cat had completely taken over the sermon. My dad said even he wasn't listening to himself anymore.

On went this Cirque du Pussycat. From the fourth pew to the fifth, and so forth, wavering with each bound. The tension built within the room. Would the cat continue jumping to every pew? Would it hold every time, or would it fail?

Eventually, the cat leapt to the top of the final pew, successful on all attempts. The worshippers somehow stifled a cheer.

Then the cat jumped to the floor and strolled casually through the open rear door of the sanctuary, never to be seen again.

I don't know if the sermon topic was leaps of faith, but if it had been, the cat had just given a marvelous demonstration.