04/19/2026
Oh my heart... My. Whole. Heart.
This is EVERYTHING, everything we were, we are, and we will always be – a mother and her children. Two unique and wondrous human beings with whom I’ve been blessed to raise. When I look at this photo, I see a mother’s exhaustion, sacrifice, and choices all wrapped up in unconditional love. The kind that was simply incomprehensible until they came into my life. I see years of buckling carseats, telling bedtime stories like the crazy adventures of Monkey Boy (my original imaginary story) and simply choosing them, even when I wanted to choose me.
Truth is... I am holding back tears remembering us this way. It’s December 2009. On an unseasonably warm winter evening, I can smell fresh pine needles from the Christmas tree lot mixed with their sweet toddler breath. You know, the breath that is a magical mixture of cotton candy and apple juice. I can hear their giggles skipping in the air and swirling around me. This is the sound I imagine at a comedy show that angels have put on for each other. This is us. In this moment, we could not get any closer to each other. I am the Mom and these are my monkeys. Once upon a time...
Today, these little humans are testing their independence as teenagers. Teenagers who roll their eyes at everything and wish they were anywhere else with anyone else other than their mother. Afterall, I am SO annoying. It became official in a family vote taken on last summer’s road trip.
Mom: Most Annoying in the Family
Dad: Most Dramatic in the Family
Kids: Conveniently didn’t earn either title
In the end, I am a mom and because of this my heart has been broken a million times AND love has literally burst from my chest a million more. I’ve been burdened by mom guilt and sacrificed self and ambition. A long time ago, I decided it was all worth it – I simply chose them, even when I wanted to choose me.
I love being their Mom.
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* written November 10, 2021 and feeling it all over again in my soul. ❤️