Biblical Eldership Resources

Teaching Your Church to Lament
- K.V. Paxton  

Many years ago, author and professor Carl Trueman wrote—by his own admission—one of his most read and well-known works... Read on=> https://ber.short.gy/6E52gG

PASTOR, PRAY FOR YOUR PEOPLE
-Reuben Bredenhof

Prayer stands at the heart of a thriving ministry. Long hours for the church, frequent pastoral visiting, vigorous study, and passionate preaching—unless the Lord gives his blessing, all these labors are in vain (Ps 127:1-2). God loves to bless his people in response to their prayers in Jesus’s name. So ministers of the gospel ought to be men who are devoted to prayer.

The New Testament lays down this pattern for ministry.

Our Lord Jesus himself prayed earnestly for his sheep (John 17:1-26). In Acts 6, when the apostles appoint seven deacons, it is done in order to free the apostles for their key tasks: “We will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word” (v. 4). As leaders of the church, they could not divorce their work in the Word from their commitment to prayer.

In the same way, Paul fills his letters with intercessory prayers (see e.g., Eph 3:14–19).[1] His prayers are far from general in nature but focus on how God might help specific people in specific ways: granting them a deepened insight, a strengthened love, a firmer hope. Paul reports on how he prays constantly for his churches, such as in 2 Thessalonians 1:11, “To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power.”

These examples show that a pastor should be regularly praying for his congregation.

Like Paul, pastors ask God to bless their congregation in many ways: with growth in unity, an increase of wisdom, an attitude of humble service, more courage to share the gospel, steadfastness in the face of temptation, hope in times of sorrow, and much more.

Theologically, of course, we affirm the importance of prayer. We know that “the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (Jas 5:16). Yet I fear that among pastors there is a prevalent habit of neglecting this holy activity. In ministry, prayer can effortlessly be sidelined by the pressing obligations of the hour: an urgent pastoral visit to make, a sermon to craft, an elders’ meeting to prepare for. The long list of things needing to be accomplished each week leaves little time for intentional and focused prayer. Prayer can seem like such a small thing that it is all but forgotten.

Yet Scripture’s command and example show how right it is for a pastor to spend time praying for those in his care. Prayer demonstrates that you’re depending humbly on God’s blessing for your labors: You simply cannot do anything worthwhile without him. At the same time, prayer reveals a loving heart for the sheep: You care for them enough to remember them often before the throne of God above. This is how Richard Baxter described the centrality of prayer in the life of a minister:

“Prayer must carry on our work as well as preaching. He who does not pray earnestly for his people does not preach wholeheartedly to them. If we do not prevail with God to give them faith and repentance, we will never prevail with them to believe and repent. When our own hearts are so far out of order, and theirs are so far out of order, we are unlikely to be successful if we do not prevail with God to heal and help them.”[2]

Some years ago, God convicted me about my shortcomings in this respect, that I wasn’t really praying for my congregation. Occupied with the visible duties of ministry like preaching and visiting, stretched by the daily demands of life, I realized that my prayers for the congregation amounted to little more than occasional and generalized petitions that they do okay.

I resolved to pray for several members every day.

My approach was nothing elaborate or original: I printed a list of the congregation’s entire membership, and I included it in the Bible I use for personal devotions. I broke the list into sections, and then each day I prayed by name for each member in that section. After a few weeks, I had prayed for everyone in my church. Then I started again.

I was praying for them because I wanted to see them live by faith in the Son of God and to walk in his ways.

Praying because for some the hurts ran unspeakably deep.

Praying that God would answer their own prayers: to receive a child, to experience healing, to find a partner, to be reconciled.

Praying because my own help and counsel often seemed so inadequate.

Praying because I knew that God can do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).

Did anything change as a result of my prayers?

We certainly don’t always see how God answers prayer, but we know that He does. So I am confident that He used my prayers to have an effect. They certainly had an effect on me, because praying daily for my people slowly changed how I looked at them, and maybe even how I treated them. As many Christians have said, it’s striking how we begin to treat a person with more love and concern when we’ve been praying for them regularly.

Sometimes I wonder how God might have blessed my ministry differently if it had always been my practice to pray for my people. Our Father is generous and patient, so I know that He prospered my work in spite of my deficiencies. Still, I’m sure there would’ve been a blessing, because that’s what the Father promises to those who pray in Jesus’s name.

So pastor, pray for your people.

Reflection: How can you grow in the practice of praying for your people?

***

Excerpt taken from The Ministry of Small Things by Reuben Bredenhof, pages 35-38, P&R Publishing.

-Reuben Bredenhof (PhD, St. Mary’s University, Twickenham) is Professor of Ministry and Mission at the Canadian Reformed Theological Seminary in Hamilton, Ontario. Besides The Ministry of Small Things, his books include Thank God: Becoming More Grateful to the Greatest of Givers (Reformation Heritage, 2023) and Weak Pastor, Strong Christ (Reformation Heritage, 2021). He is husband to Rebecca and father to four daughters. His website is www.reubenbredenhof.com

[1] See the excellent book of D.A. Carson on Paul’s prayers, Praying with Paul: A Call to Spiritual Reformation (Baker, 2015).

[2] Richard Baxter, The Reformed Pastor (Banner of Truth, 1974),122-23.

This article first appeared here => https://reformation21.org/pastor-pray-for-your-people/?mc_cid=d918a86912&mc_eid=fe4e28fd4e

Help Support the Translation of Biblical Eldership: Abridged
in the Thai Language

BER depends upon donations from churches and individuals to provide resources to those around the world through translation and printing. Please consider donating to this important work.

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HOSPITAL VISITS: DO’S AND DON’TS FOR ELDERS
- Chuck Gianotti
From new babies to critical illnesses, hospital visits play an important part in an elder’s ministry. But it’s not always easy to know...Read on=> https://ber.short.gy/NpWq7b

HOSPITAL VISITS: DO’S AND DON’TS FOR ELDERS
- Chuck Gianotti

From new babies to critical illnesses, hospital visits play an important part in an elder’s ministry. But it’s not always easy to know how to conduct yourself during a hospital visit–or whether it’s appropriate to go at all. The hospital setting might make you nervous, especially if it’s unfamiliar to you. You may be unsure of how to act or what to say, afraid that your words might do more harm than good.

It’s wise to approach hospital visits with a bit of healthy trepidation, but don’t let fear keep you away. Some people may not want visitors, but many people see a pastoral visit as an expected part of a hospital stay, and they are hurt if no one from the church shows up. Your caring and reassuring presence with your flock in times of crisis and discouragement can be a tremendous spiritual help, enabling them to endure their trials with a godly perspective.

With careful consideration and a few pointers, hospital visits can become an effective ministry for shepherding the flock of God.

WHEN TO VISIT

First and foremost, determine whether a visit would be welcome. Sometimes an elder’s prayers, encouragement, and physical presence are good medicine. In other cases, what a patient needs most is privacy. A visitor might be a stressor to an exhausted new mother learning how to nurse her baby while recovering from childbirth, or someone who is self-conscious about his or her appearance while not feeling well. Others, however, would gladly welcome a visit to pass the time and bring comfort.

Pray for wisdom about whether to go, and if possible, feel out the situation by talking with someone who is close to the patient. If you determine that a visit might not be ideal, you can still send a card, flowers, or an email or text message to let the patient know you are praying for him or her.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS:

Honor all requests for NO visitors, unless the patient or family members specifically request that you visit.

If you need to contact family members, don’t text too early or late—people tend to leave their notifications on when a loved one is in the hospital, and you don’t want to wake them since they are likely exhausted from being at the hospital with the patient.

Stick to visiting hours unless given permission by the nursing staff and the patient.

Visit in the afternoons and evenings. Mornings are busy with the doctors’ rounds, breakfast, getting presentable, testing, therapy, etc.

Ask permission from the patient or a close relative before you visit (some patients are very conscious about their appearance).

Visit on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays if possible. These are lonelier days for many patients because people don’t visit as much then.

Ask if there’s anything you can bring for the patient or family. Some patients aren’t allowed to eat outside food, but others (or their family members) might love some home-cooked food or their favorite takeout. Or there might be something you can pick up from the store to make them more comfortable, like their favorite chapstick, a pack of gum, or hand lotion to help with the dry hospital air. Remember, the loved ones who are staying in the hospital with the patient are in need of encouragement and practical help too. They may be anxious, hungry, and exhausted, but won’t bring up their own needs unless asked.

Step out of the room when medical staff come in, unless the patient specifically asks you to stay. If the patient is elderly and doesn’t have family members in the room to be an extra set of ears, and depending on how close you are to the patient, you can offer to stay so you can help the patient remember what the doctor says.

ETIQUETTE DO’S AND DON’TS

Stand in a place that is easy for the patient to see you.
Be close enough to make talking and listening easier.

Be cheerful and optimistic.
Proverbs 25:20 warns against insensitively forcing joy on those who are downcast, but entering the hospital room with a gloomy countenance will not bring encouragement. Enter with a gentle greeting and warm smile that show your love and positivity, and then “read the room” to determine what the patient needs, whether jovial conversation and laughter or just your quiet presence and listening ear.

Ask how many visitors have been in today already.
(If you are number 18, stay only two minutes at most!)

Keep visits brief unless invited to stay longer; 10-15 minutes may be enough. Long visits can be exhausting to someone who is ill.

Make conversation.
Talk about newsy items and happenings at the church, but give the patient room to talk if he or she feels up for it.

Be ready to perform any service consistent with propriety and hospital rules (for example, writing a letter or making a call).

Don’t sit on the bed or do anything that might disturb or upset the patient.

Don’t bring up your troubles or trials.
It is fine to talk about them if the patient asks (sometimes patients like to get the spotlight off of themselves, and thinking about others’ needs can be good medicine). But in general, it is best not to make the conversation about yourself.

Don’t be negative
(about the patient’s appearance, nursing staff, etc.).

Never break a confidence.
If the patient’s condition is sensitive or something he/she is embarrassed about, ask whether you should share this prayer concern with others and how specific you should be.

Speak with caution and purpose.
Some medical experts believe comatose patients can sometimes hear what is being said, even if they cannot communicate. So be careful what you say, but don’t hesitate to talk to, read to, and pray out loud for the patient.

PRAYING AND SHARING SCRIPTURE

Sharing Scripture is a great way to encourage the patient in the Lord.
You should go into the visit prepared with an appropriate passage that you’ve selected ahead of time, but bring your Bible in case the patient requests a different passage. Ask, “Has anyone read Scripture or prayed with you today? Would you like me to?” Then keep your reading brief and resist the urge to preach.

When praying, you might show warmth and comfort by holding the patient’s hand or “laying on hands.”
However, exercise caution when doing this so that the touching is not inappropriate or uncomfortable.

Pray for God’s strength, encouragement, and cheer.
If God has given you a strong burden or sense of faith, pray for healing.
Be careful of “claiming” God’s healing, as we have no such claims on God—but we do have a God who hears prayer and may be pleased to heal.

While you are praying for the patient, you might also pray for the accompanying family members and the other patients in the room. Often they will hear you and thank you afterwards, which may lead to further opportunity for you to be used by God.

With preparation and the right mindset, hospital visitation can be an effective way to know the people God has entrusted to your care and to embody Christ’s love in difficult times.

-Chuck Gianotti

Photo by Martha Dominguez de Gouveia on Unsplash

This article first appeared here => https://www.biblicaleldership.com/2026/05/27/hospital-visits-dos-and-donts-for-elders/?mc_cid=4a82913758&mc_eid=fe4e28fd4e

How You Can Support Elders and Church Leaders Around the World

Help Support the Translation of Biblical Eldership: Abridged
in the Thai Language

Why this translation is important:

-Thailand is 95% Buddhist and less than 1% Christian. Of that 1%, a very small fraction has access to sound biblical materials.

-By funding this translation, donors are investing in the structural integrity of the Thai church, helping it to move from a model of singular and fragile leadership to a biblical plurality that can withstand the pressures of ministry in a non-Christian land.

-For the Thai church to grow beyond its current state, it must transition toward a model where leadership is shared among qualified men as prescribed in the Scripture. This book provides the theological foundation and practical framework needed to reform church government in Thailand. It is not just a book; it is a blueprint for the health and longevity of the Thai church.

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JESUS AND DISABILITY
- Bob Deffinbaugh
As elders, it is imperative that our heart toward all people and our perspective on disabilities mirrors with the compassionate...Read on=> https://ber.short.gy/K7ea3w

JESUS AND DISABILITY
- Bob Deffinbaugh

As elders, it is imperative that our heart toward all people and our perspective on disabilities mirrors with the compassionate and tender heart of our Lord, who not only made himself accessible to the afflicted but actively sought them out.

Our ministry to those who are disabled starts with thinking about disabilities the way Jesus did. There is much we can learn from observing how Jesus corrected the popular thinking of his day when it came to disabilities, and from observing how he treated people.

“THAT THE WORKS OF GOD MIGHT BE DISPLAYED”

Do we have an accurate theology of disability, so to speak? The disciples didn’t. When they came upon a man who was born blind, they wrongly attributed the cause to someone’s sin—and the Pharisees did the same (see John 9:1-5, 34). There are at least two reasons why the disciples and the Pharisees were both wrong.

The first reason is found in Psalm 139:

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them (Ps. 139:13-16, NAS).

God made all people just as they are at birth, by His design. And since this took place in the womb, the individual could not yet have sinned, as the Pharisees and the disciples assumed.

There is a second reason why having a disability is not the result of personal sin, and Jesus plainly stated it: "It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was in order that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).

The blind man’s disability was not a punishment for sin, but the occasion for “the works of God to be displayed in him.” In the next sentence, Jesus makes it clear that it was He who would “work the works of God” in this man (9:4-5). This man’s disability was the occasion for God to do a gracious work in his life, a work that not only gave him his sight but also opened his spiritual eyes so that he would spend eternity in God’s presence.

God’s works are not just displayed in the one who is disabled, but also in the godly response of those who rightly respond in kindness to the disabled. I have personally witnessed the works of God in those leaders who were shaped, in part, by their response to the disabled.

JESUS ACTIVELY SOUGHT THE DISABLED AND AFFLICTED

In Jesus’ day, and in ours, those with disabilities are often ignored or neglected. That is why the religious elite of Jesus’ day were surprised about those with whom Jesus chose to associate. But the truth is that Jesus did not avoid the disabled, sick, or afflicted. He made Himself accessible to them, even when others, even the disciples, were intent on sending them away.

In Matthew 20, James and John, with the help of their mother, sought to persuade Jesus to give them a more prestigious position above their fellow disciples. Jesus responded that “whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Greatness in His kingdom, Jesus said, was not experienced by seeking to be served by others, but in sacrificial service to others. Jesus spoke of His service (on the cross) as an example of serving others. Immediately following this incident, in the very next verses, Matthew illustrates Jesus’ point with the story of the two blind men who pleaded for healing. The crowds considered them a nuisance and wanted to silence them, but Jesus made Himself available to them and healed them (see Matt. 20:25-34). That is what servanthood looks like: not seeking personal advancement by ruling over others, but serving others who are in need.

Far from making themselves accessible and available to serve others, the disciples urged Jesus to dismiss those in need:

The disciples wanted to send the hungry crowd away, but Jesus proposed to serve them by feeding them (Matt. 14:13-20)—and sent them away full.

When the Syrophoenician (Canaanite) woman pleaded with Jesus to deliver her demon-possessed daughter from bo***ge, the disciples once again wanted to silence her and send her away. But Jesus, having tested her faith, sent her home to find her daughter delivered from demonic oppression (Matt. 15:21-28).

The disciples also sought to prevent children from coming to Jesus. (Granted, they were not disabled, but they were considered unable to contribute to Jesus’ ministry in any way.) Jesus rebuked His disciples (Matt. 19:13-15; Mark 10:13-16).

Jesus not only made Himself accessible to the disabled and afflicted; He actually sought such people out. If they could not come to Him, He went to them. Jesus not only responded to the needs of the disabled, He actually initiated ministry to the afflicted. He reached out to those who could not (or would not) come to Him for help. For example:

In John 5, Jesus went to the Pool of Bethesda and encountered the man who had been afflicted for 38 years so that he was unable to walk. The man could not get himself to a supposed source of healing, much less gain access to Jesus. Jesus found him; he did not find Jesus. He did not even seem to know who Jesus was.

In Luke 7, when Jesus saw the funeral procession for the son of the widow at Nain, he felt compassion for her, touched the coffin, raised the man to life, and gave him back to his mother (Luke 7:11-15).

Finally, we should note the initiative Jesus took to go to Samaria and preach the gospel. When he met the woman at the well, he was on his way from Judea to Galilee, “[a]nd He had to pass through Samaria” (John 4:4). The text indicates that this was something He felt compelled to do. These people were not disabled; far worse, the Jews despised them and considered them unworthy of salvation—a virtual write-off. The disciples themselves did not share the love Jesus had for the Samaritans or the divine purpose to save them.

We see Jesus’ heart for the despised Samaritans again in Luke 9. When the Samaritans failed to receive Jesus as he was passing through on his way to Jerusalem, James and John assumed Jesus would want them to “command fire to come down from heaven and consume [the Samaritans]” (Luke 9:54). But Jesus rebuked them and said that the Son of Man did not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them (Luke 9:56).

JESUS’ COMPASSION IDENTIFIED HIM AS THE PROMISED MESSIAH

Jesus was the seeker of those in need, of those oppressed or afflicted. And this was precisely what distinguished Him from other “messianic” options. The crowds (and even some of the disciples) thought that being Messiah meant that Jesus would march into Jerusalem, cast out the Romans, and create a new, Jewish nation. John the Baptist struggled with what being Messiah meant, because he spoke of Jesus’ appearance as Him coming to bring judgment on sinners (see Matt. 3:7-12, Luke 3:15-18). Jesus corrected John’s mistaken grasp of what it meant to be Messiah by calling attention to His ministry of compassion, rather than a military mission:

And when the men had come to Him, they said, "John the Baptist has sent us to You, saying, 'Are You the Expected One, or do we look for someone else?'" At that very time He cured many people of diseases and afflictions and evil spirits; and He granted sight to many who were blind. And He answered and said to them, "Go and report to John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who keeps from stumbling over Me" (Luke 7:20-23, NAS).

Jesus’ compassion toward the afflicted and disabled was consistent with His nature and His identity as the Promised Messiah, who would come to save His people:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives, and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified (Isa. 61:1-3, NAS; see also Luke 4:15-21).

This is what Jesus was calling upon John the Baptist to remember from the Old Testament prophecies regarding the coming Messiah.

PARALLELS BETWEEN PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL DISABILITY

Jesus’ compassion toward the physically afflicted and disabled was a prototype of his mission to cure the spiritually disabled. Jesus made it clear that all mankind has been disabled by sin so that no one is able, by his or her own efforts, to merit God’s favor and blessings (see Rom. 3:19-26).

Here we are, a month after celebrating Easter, a holiday that commemorates the means by which God will transform “disabled sinners” into saints. Jesus took the sinner’s place, bearing the punishment which their sin deserves. By His death, He bore the penalty for our sin. And by His resurrection He accomplished the means for attaining eternal life, so that all who put their trust in Him may dwell in His presence forever, perfect in Jesus.

That is the good news for all disabled sinners, and it is promised to all who acknowledge their sin and place their trust in Jesus, who took their place. That is something for every believer in Jesus to celebrate. But the first step is for us to acknowledge our disability, our incapacity to earn right standing before God and the blessing of salvation.

Unless the Lord Jesus returns before our death, the grave is our certain destiny, and only trusting in the divine nature and saving work of Jesus at Calvary will suffice to overcome our spiritual disability. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we can be assured of eternal life, beyond the grave, because of what Jesus has done for us.

Photo by Romain Virtuel on Unsplash

This article first appeared here => https://www.biblicaleldership.com/2026/05/12/jesus-and-disability/?mc_cid=d918a86912&mc_eid=fe4e28fd4e

Teaching Your Church to Lament
- K.V. Paxton

Many years ago, author and professor Carl Trueman wrote—by his own admission—one of his most read and well-known works, an article titled What Can Miserable Christians Sing? In it, Trueman argues for the necessity of including songs of lament (especially from the Psalter) in a church’s corporate worship. He writes, in part: “A diet of unremittingly jolly choruses and hymns inevitably creates an unrealistic horizon of expectation which sees the normative Christian life as one long triumphalist street party—a theologically incorrect and a pastorally disastrous scenario in a world of broken individuals.”[1]

What Trueman says rings true. Life in a fallen world is full of hardship and struggle, and the normative Christian life is decidedly not one long triumphalist street party. The Bible is not shy about this. Life is often painful. Within this reality, what responsibility does the pastor bear in the liturgy and teaching of the church?

The fact is, pastor, your people will suffer. This is not breaking news. When and how they suffer, only the Lord in His sovereignty knows. While we will inevitably minister to people in the midst of suffering—and after suffering has already come—we must also prepare them for suffering beforehand.

In other words, we ought not wait for suffering to happen before teaching about it. We must equip our people ahead of time so that, when the inevitable struggle comes, they are not without language or categories for faith.

Mark Vroegop reflects on this well. Looking back on a particular season of grief for him and his wife, he writes, “I can now see that the missing element in our grief was a familiarity with lament—heartfelt and honest talking to God through the struggles of life.”[2]

We must be equipped—and equip our people—to know that lament is both appropriate and helpful when suffering comes.

Here are three ways pastors can, and should, incorporate lament into the life of the church so that God’s people have words when sorrow and suffering befall them.

1. Sing Songs of Lament

A brief listen to popular Christian radio or a glance at the CCLI Top 100 reveals that most songs sung on a given Lord’s Day in America are upbeat. Fair enough—the gospel brings joy and announces good news. And yet, as Trueman observes, the human condition remains profoundly broken.

It is not wrong to sing joyful songs. But if joy is all we sing, we risk offering a truncated view of life in a fallen world. Jesus’ own hymnbook was the Psalter, and its most frequent genre is lament.

Trueman again notes,

The psalms, the Bible’s own hymnbook, have almost entirely dropped from view in the contemporary Western evangelical scene. I am not certain about why this should be, but I have an instinctive feel that it has more than a little to do with the fact that a high proportion of the psalter is taken up with lamentation, with feeling sad, unhappy, tormented, and broken. In modern Western culture, these are simply not emotions which have much credibility: sure, people still feel these things, but to admit that they are a normal part of one’s everyday life is tantamount to admitting that one has failed in today’s health, wealth, and happiness society.[3]

Including songs of lament in the church’s liturgy does something profound: it gives people words to sing when life is hard. Those words sink deep, equipping believers to sing through pain rather than fall silent in it.

I pastor a local church, and we intentionally include songs of lament, particularly when we preach selected Psalms each summer. When my dear son Ambrose was stillborn this past July, I drew comfort from songs like Lord, From Sorrows Deep I Call, Psalm 13, and He Will Hold Me Fast. Songs of triumph did not match my sorrow—but songs of lament did. They gave me language to sing through tears and ministered to my soul.

Include songs of lament in your liturgy, and your people will have words to draw from even when it is hard to sing.

2. Teach and Preach Lament

A similar effect occurs when lament is taught and preached. As noted above, we preach the Psalms every summer and intentionally include Psalms of lament. There are also books like Job, Habakkuk, and Lamentations in which saints are honest about how they feel.

Teaching these texts shows your people that lament is not abnormal. It gives them words to pray when they find themselves in grief, confusion, or loss. It teaches them that honesty before God is not irreverence, and that the God who hears can handle our cries. When they lack words, they can open the Psalter and pray what God has already given them.

3. Point to Saints Who Have Suffered Honestly

Finally, pastors should point to saints—past and present—who have suffered with honesty and faith. This can be done through sermon illustrations, pastoral writing, social media posts, and other teaching. Show how mighty saints through the ages have suffered, written down their honest feelings, and handed their works down to us.

Consider Augustine writing in Confessions grieving the loss of his mother, John Calvin writing to a friend when his wife died, or Martin Luther lamenting the death of his beloved daughter. These saints show us that it is possible to be faithful and sorrowful, trusting and confused, joyful and mourning—all at once.

Your people will suffer. This is an unavoidable reality of life in a fallen world between the Advents. Let us be honest about that with them. Let us equip them beforehand with language for prayer and song, so that even in sorrow they can turn toward God with hope—looking ahead to the day when every sad thing comes untrue.

[1] Carl Trueman, “What Can Miserable Christians Sing?” IX Marks, https://www.9marks.org/article/what-can-miserable-christians-sing.

[2] Mark Vroegop, “Strong Churches Speak the Language of Lament,” The Gospel Coalition, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/strong-churches-lanuage-lament/.

[3] Carl Trueman, “What Can Miserable Christians Sing?” IX Marks, https://www.9marks.org/article/what-can-miserable-christians-sing.

-K.V. Paxton is Lead Pastor at First Baptist Church in Cordele, GA. He is a graduate of Criswell College, Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, and is currently a PhD candidate at Midwestern Seminary. He is married to Sayla, and they have six children.

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