06/14/2026
Let's talk about the fear that folks like us know all too well. That you'll do all the work, heal all the wounds, become the most secure version of yourself… and still end up alone. That your person isn't out there. That you missed them, or they don't exist, or everyone else got picked and somehow you didn't.
Most relationship advice tiptoes around that fear. It promises that if you just heal enough, then love is certain or guaranteed. "Do the work and they'll show up!" It's reassuring. It's also a farce.
Kate Anthony, my podcast guest this week, sat in that fear for sixteen years. And what finally freed her wasn't someone proving the fear wrong. It was her deciding she could survive it being true.
She got to a place where she could honestly say: I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than abandon myself to keep someone around.
Let me be clear: She didn't do this as a manifestation hack. And she certainly didn't try to embody the "it'll happen when you stop looking" line everyone resents. She actually made peace with the possibility of being alone forever.
And here's the part that messes with people: That kind of self-acceptance helped make her secure. Not the relationship she eventually found. The willingness to lose it before she ever had it.
Because as long as ending up alone is the worst thing that could happen to you, you'll keep contorting to avoid it. You'll ignore red flags. You'll over-give. You'll call anxiety "chemistry." But the moment you know you'll be okay on your own, you stop negotiating with yourself to be chosen. And start actually choosing yourself instead.
That's what this week's episode is about. I hope it resonates with you.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/567n8bAx097vJrzTE0guSW?si=y3P8jSwrSyGhmSyhGKE9ng&t=0&pi=IRuJoauSSn-iW
Needy No More: Anxious Attachment Healing · Episode
