Guided By Delight

Longing…a beautiful word I’ve become so familiar with..

I love the way it transitions here into an empowered word “want”.

The feeling of longing for something feels gray and static and deep. Sometimes for me, it has felt destined. Like I’ll never not long for something or someone.

I’ve come to understand, for myself, my place of longing can be a beautiful state of being.

I’ve also come to understand, for myself, the longing is directly connected to how I identify what I want.

When I am not sure of my want…I long for something. I can’t quite articulate it but it’s there. Ever present- in the background of my experiences.

I used to think this was sadness or depression- but I see myself more clearly now.

I believe many of us long for something we aren’t experiencing in our realities. Especially women.

It’s the existential hunt. Hunting. An action women must give ourselves permission to carry out because it’s not inherent in the societal messaging as it is for men.

We gather. We gather resources to fill the space and take care of what we have but we long for the hunt…the hunter, the huntress.

The longing is the hunt of getting to know ourselves deeply. And the hunt of finding belonging with those alike in ways we most want to keep company.

My goal now is to feel the longing. To let it take up space in my body and soul. To dance with it for a bit as it works it’s way into letting me feel what I want.

I want to merge the longing with the hunt. The feminine and the masculine energy within me. The all-ness of one like me. The leader and the follower in me.

What do I want? Who do I want? Where do I want? Is my wanting welcomed? Am I punishing my wanting?

All these questions help the quality of my wanting elevate.

I’ve got quite a way to go…

I have come to this knowing for myself…

When I can identify what I want, I can ask for it.

When I ask for what I want, I can seek it out.

I have the ability to create it on my own or recognize an offering from someone else.

Also, I can transform what I want. I can allow myself to want something differently. I can want a new perspective, more love, less drama, more alignment, more joy, less resistance…

My Longing is my teacher. My Wanting is my answer.

Happy Wednesday💜

This photo isn’t the most clear but it’s Aaron pointing to his name on the scoreboard at The Moth Story Slam in Denver this past weekend.

The Moth is a storytelling podcast that’s been a family favorite for years.

We’ve always wanted to attend a live event. Denver and most large cities host them throughout the year and upwards of 150-200 people attend to listen to stories.

It goes like this:
1. You buy a ticket.
2. You show up to listen or prepared with a story that is tied to the theme of the night. The theme on the night we went was .
3. If you wanna- you throw your name in a hat for a random drawing to tell your story.
5. Name called- go on stage in front of a mass audience of strangers and tell a true story in 5 minutes with a tangible beginning-middle-end that connects it to the theme.
6. Judging panels give scores and the highest score of the night goes onto a Grand Slam Storytelling Event to be featured on the podcast.

Aaron, baller shot caller he is, put his name in the hat. His name was drawn and story ready, he rocked the mic. He told a fantastic story from his new book.

In the end he placed 4th- a mere 1.2 pts behind the winner.

NOTE: Many people do this regularly to get better each time. This was his first but will not be his last.

Lennon and I had the best time watching his Dad! We are endlessly proud of his courage. All of us were floored by the amazing stories.

People are wondrous, creative, delightful beings of perspective experiences and I love being alive.

Would YOU put your name in the hat? It’s not my thing…unless I can just dance the story but that’d be pointless in a podcast🤣 But I can’t wait to go back and listen to more!

My schedule is busy! I train clients before I go into the office for 7-8 hours. I coach after work, sometimes a meal prep session or online, depending on my schedule with my son.

For me, finding time to practice nourishing eating, movement and restoration can be a challenge. And.. I’m always up for a challenge.

Here’s what I do.

I have a plan. Each week- I think through how I want to stay active AND how I want to turn it off.

For me- this means routine. It’s the discipline that actually allows me to feel free and enjoy my life.

- I plan out my food (it’s quick now but took some practice) on Fridays.

- I shop on Saturdays. Busy weeks mean I spend more on pre-cut/portioned out options that are still whole and fresh so I can spend LESS time doing. In the end, I may spend $10 extra bucks and a ton less energy on figuring out what to eat when I’m spent out energetically.

- I meal prep and portion out on Sundays. Snacks and meals are done as well as cut up and ready dinner options for the week ahead. This way- coming home to cook is less challenging and more efficient.

- I hit the gym on my lunch breaks, mornings I don’t have clients and/or the weekend. I download music and podcasts that pump me up and I go in with a plan. This year- I’m stepping up my lifting weight to see what I can do and it’s so fun!

- Mind/Spirit devotion each morning means pulling thoughtful cards and heart work. I give lots of love to those who are willing to take it and I receive it from those willing to give it. I don’t really hold back here unless someone/something feels unavailable or unclear about their intentions. I challenge myself to get clear or let go (this is the hardest part as I worry. Am I too much or not enough for people? I want to be accepted, y’know? But I won’t stay silent or compliant if it doesn’t feel good. Finding the courage to speak up is tough and scary but the more I work the muscle- the stronger I get it seems. Ugh…I know bigger weights are coming but I believe in divine alignment and know I’ll be given exactly what I need to live more authentically.

Cheers to lifting the heavy weights and getting stronger!

The total loss and devastation some of our dear friends have experienced is simply heartbreaking.

The structures and grounds of their homes leave nothing to rebuild upon and entire neighborhoods are swept clear of anything living.

If you have the means or want to offer any support to either Larry Boven or to the general fund collected through the dance studio I teach at - please do!

Larry and Mary Boven: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-lary-and-mary-boven-rebuild

Alchemy of Movement Families Fund: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-alchemy-families-rebuild?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

I am loving the quality time together this holiday season. It’s warm inside and out!

A continued cheers to you and yours.