08/13/2026
When did being a part of your family become abusive?
Parentification is defined as a role reversal where a child is forced to act like a caregiver for their siblings. This definition also includes cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping.
The key term in the definition is having these responsibilities that aren’t age appropriate. THAT I agree with. What I don’t agree with is young adults or misguided authority figures (like counselors or school officials) labeling healthy responsibility as a form of abuse. Also, every family is different. The amount of responsibility farm kids have may feel astronomical to another family.
When we tell children at any age that their roll within the family is to not be a functioning member of the family (or society), they turn into legal adults that are no more than a child. The stress, fear, and failure to launch that they experience as young adults with no accountability, understanding of relationships, and an entitlement towards responsibility is far more emotionally damaging!
Multigenerational families were the norm historically which gave older kids an opportunity to learn how to parent, run a home, and maintain finances. As younger children aged, they were able to step into the household chores roll and often the care of younger nieces and nephews.
It blows my mind that we actually live in a world that carrying your fair share in life is considered abusive. 🙄
PS: I am not referring to true neglect. I’m referring to well cared for children with responsibilities (even if it’s pushing on non age appropriate, that’s how they grow).
If you’re wanting resources to teach your kids responsibility and independence, consider looking at one of our homestead student planners this school year along with our skills based curriculum.
Comment “FOOD” and I’ll send you the link. Or visit my link in bio.
➡️What chores do your kids have?