Honor Genetski, Awakened Motherhood

Most kids with anxiety don’t look anxious.
And here’s the loop that happens for parents:
Your child’s anxiety causes them to lash out, then you get anxious and react to your own fears about it.
Then they react to you reacting. 🤯
When your child loses control, your brain immediately starts asking:
“What does this mean about them/ me?”
“What if this never gets better?”
“What if I’m failing them?”
Then you’re reacting to your fear instead of responding to your child. Messy.
Your anxious child will react to your fear, but they will also respond to your calm.
So before you ask, “How do I calm my child down?”
The focus has to be on resourcing yourself, calming yourself.

If your kid goes from calm to boiling over faster than you can keep up… It doesn’t always mean they’re being defiant. But does mean something, I’ll explain.

In over 20 years as a therapist helping moms of sensitive, strong willed kids who snap at the drop of a hat, here’s what I’ve learned:

Most parents make the mistake of trying to convince their kids there’s no reason for them to feel upset.
But here’s where it backfires - when your child feels unseen in their emotions, they dig deeper into them.
Thats the root of them arguing, and shutting you out.

The goal isn’t to stop the flood of emotions in the moment. It’s to help them build enough emotional tolerance that they have flexibility to have a hard feeling, and then move through it.

Your kids will trigger you - and that deeper stuff is here to heal you. What a beautiful thing, if you’re willing to do the work. If you’re willing to own it, it will bless you and your child. 💘

Parenting will show you all of what you never wanted to see about yourself.

We can run and hide from it, or we can turn toward it and face our vulnerability for the greater good.

The more comfortable we become in facing our own emotions, past and present, the more confident and successful our kids will be in life and relationships.

If you’d like to learn more about this comment GROUP below, and I will message you and invite to my free private Facebook group where I’ll be offering several free trainings this month. ❤️‍🔥

The most confusing behaviors for parents I’ve seen in my twenty years as a therapist helping moms support their deep-feeling kids… here’s the list:
1. Angry outbursts

2. Tantrums

3. Pestering or begging you for what they want

4. Starting arguments with a sibling

5. Isolating

A child’s anxiety often does not look or feel like anxiety to parents. What you may be seeing as a behavioral problem has an emotional root.

The more you can understand where your kid is getting stuck in their emotions, and help them at that level, the more you will be able to prevent the difficult behaviors. Hope that helps. 💚

Follow me at honor_genetski for help in motherhood.

There is only one of you. Take care of you mama. 💚

Step one: Accept them for who they are.

Step two: Adopt a system for navigating big emotions (theirs and yours).

In my 20+ years as a therapist I’ve seen many parents who were unknowingly resisting their child’s true nature and making problems worse.

They were focusing primarily on challenging behaviors, instead of looking at the whole child, and the whole family system.

A sensitive, deep feeling child is often acting as a mirror for the adults around them. Not only are they expressing their own feelings, they’re expressing unspoken and unseen patterns in the family.

While this news can be intimidating for parents, helping your child within the context of the family system is also the fastest and most satisfying way to restore peace and equilibrium.

❤️‍🔥

Parenting will bring you face-to-face with emotions you didn’t even know you had.

Since these are emotions we’ve never been able to observe clearly or experience with any level of safety, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by them.

It’s also an invitation to come more fully back to your true self,
To heal more vulnerable, unseen parts of yourself,
And to be a happier, more relaxed parent.

The emotions will come.
What you do when you encounter them is up to you.

Comment HEAL and I’ll send you a video that talks more about this.

When your kid tunes you out, it’s the perfect invitation to learn to value yourself and your voice… Because what you want matters.

What you feel matters.

What you need matters.

And what you use to say is important.

💚

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