Married 4Real TV

Sometimes the prayer isn’t, “God, fix my spouse.” Sometimes it’s, “God, show me what You’re trying to fix in ME.” That’s a hard prayer when you’ve been hurt, disappointed, or convinced that your spouse is the problem. But marriage has a way of revealing what’s still hiding in our hearts, pride, unforgiveness, defensiveness, selfishness, fear, unresolved pain, and unhealthy patterns we may not even realize we carry. God may be working on your marriage by first working on the two people inside of it.

Before you give up on what God may still be rebuilding, give Him permission to start with YOU. Ask Him to soften what has become hard, heal what is still hurting, expose what needs to change, and give you the humility to take responsibility for your part. You may not be able to change your spouse, but you can surrender yourself to God. And sometimes, the breakthrough we’ve been praying for in our marriage begins when we finally say, “Lord, I’m willing. Start with ME.”

Hey sis, let me chat with you for a moment. I know you’re strong. You’ve had to be. You’ve learned how to keep showing up, keep smiling, keep praying, keep helping, and keep caring for everybody else while quietly carrying your own hurt, pain, bitterness, and inner loneliness. Somewhere along the way, you started believing that nobody really CARES about what’s happening inside of you. You’ve been the one people call, the one they lean on, the one who makes sure everybody else is okay, but when was the last time someone genuinely stopped to make sure YOU were okay? And because that hasn’t always happened, you learned to hide. You buried the tears, pushed through the disappointment, and convinced yourself that being strong meant carrying it ALL. Gurl, the devil is a liar, you’re strong but you… are…not.. GOD!
Sis, you MUST take time to care for you, and it starts with the way you THINK and what you ALLOW your heart to carry. Some of what you’ve been calling “caring” has become a weight God never asked you to hold. You cannot keep carrying people, problems, opinions, disappointments, and outcomes that were meant to be CAST on Jesus. Scripture says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7. Sis, He cares for you. Even in the places where you have felt unseen, overlooked, unsupported, and emotionally exhausted, God sees you. Give HIM what has been weighing you down. Release the bitterness. Release the need to be everything for everybody. Release the fear of disappointing people. You deserve the SAME grace, compassion, patience, and care you have so freely given to everybody else. This season, don’t just be the strong woman everybody NEEDS, be the healed, whole, peaceful woman, God is calling you to become. Be set FREE sis! In Jesus name.

Heavenly Father, teach us to never become careless with the heart of the person You have entrusted to us. Remind us that marriage is choosing to genuinely care. Give us the sensitivity to recognize when our spouse is hurting, the patience to listen when their heart needs to be heard, and the humility to consider how our words, actions, attitudes, and decisions affect them. Deliver us from becoming so familiar with one another that we stop being intentional. Love may be a choice, but care requires genuine intentionality and daily effort. Teach us to handle our spouse’s vulnerabilities with gentleness, their fears with compassion, their mistakes with grace, and their needs with consideration.

Spirit of the Living God, make our hearts tender toward one another. Convict us when we become dismissive, selfish, distracted, or emotionally unavailable, and help us become faithful stewards of the hearts You have placed in our care. May our marriages be safe places where both husband and wife feel seen, heard, protected, valued, and deeply loved. Teach us to show our care in the small things every day—a thoughtful word, a listening ear, an apology, a gentle touch, reassurance, and simply asking, “How is your heart, and how can I care for it better?” May our spouses never have to question whether they matter to us because our daily actions continually remind them that they do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Our youngest child is 20 years old yall!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENESIS! Whew no more teenagers 😅
We love you so much butterfly!! You are beautiful inside and out. May this year bring you joy, peace, and beautiful discoveries and adventures baby girl! Love you so much. M4R family please help us wish our gorgeous babygirl a happy birthday!🎉

We’ve been here. We’ve been angry with one another more times than we can count. We’ve held onto hurt, replayed offenses, allowed disappointment to become resentment, and wondered how two people who loved each other could feel so far apart. The truth is, we didn’t enter marriage whole. That would have been ideal, but it wasn’t our story. We came into our covenant carrying broken pieces from our past, and along the journey of marriage, we picked up a few more broken pieces from the pain we caused each other. But we learned that healing couldn’t begin until we were willing to let some things go. Not pretend they didn’t happen. Not excuse what was wrong. But SURRENDER the bitterness, anger, pride, and resentment that kept the wounds OPEN. We had to stop fighting each other long enough to allow the Spirit of God to show us what needed to change within EACH of us. And yes, we both had to change. God brought conviction to our hearts, exposed unhealthy patterns, humbled us, and taught us that even though we were broken, our brokenness did not EXCUSE us from taking accountability for the ways we were hurting one another. We could not have a healthy peaceful loving marriage while ALSO holding on to the pain, guilt, resentment and anger, something HAD TO GO. We could not hold on to both. So we chose our future, our love, our happiness, our friendship, and our purpose. What will you choose?