Duchess of Kent

Feel free to mix things up, if you like: “I’ll pinch the base of the stem at dinner; it is the simplest way to pick up the glass, and sometimes I cheat and use the table to swirl my wine,” Bryant admits. “When I’m drinking wine at home, you’ll find me holding the glass at the center of the stem. I often multitask while cooking, taking a bubble bath, or reading a book, so I need a firmer grip on my glass.”

The base balance: With your thumb on top and pointer and middle fingers below, pinch the base (the flat, bottom part of the wineglass that runs perpendicular to the stem). This can take some practice, but allows for delicate swirling to release a wine’s bouquet. It evokes “this is not my first wine rodeo.”

It enhances the overall aesthetic. Holding a wineglass with care looks poised and polished, which can be helpful in both social and business settings. Mastering how to hold a wineglass “adds an air of confidence and sophistication—yes, even at Tuesday night book club,” says Jenna Bice, founder and owner of Laurel Haven Estate Vineyard and Winery in Lancaster, South Carolina.

Regardless of the vintage, varietal, or how well-versed you are in wine, the same sentiment holds true: how you hold a wineglass can make or break your overall experience. (Not to mention, if you’re holding a wineglass wrong, you might be committing a minor etiquette “oops.”)

Perhaps you collect highly allocated bottles in your wine cellar or buy wines by the label (hey, that’s okay!). Maybe you’re popping open a coveted bottle of Krug you’ve been saving for years, or instead, you’re uncorking a budget-friendly option your local natural wine shop recommended earlier today.

We will all experience loss firsthand at some point—the death of a loved one, the loss of a pet, a job layoff, an illness. Grief is universal, and it’s our job to reach out to the grieving person—not wait for them to ask for help. “Don’t say ‘let me know what you need,’ because that person probably doesn’t know,” says Gottsman.

It’s quick and easy to text a “thank you,” but it’s not a heartfelt option. “If someone has put forth the effort to give you a gift or do something kind for you, it’s more authentic to thank them with a handwritten card,” says Post. Not only is handwriting unique to the individual—making a card a keepsake of sorts in our tech-focused age— it also shows that you acknowledge the time and thoughtfulness of the person’s gesture.

“For myself, I like how I feel when I’m dressed up,” says Post. “And whether it’s right or wrong, the reality is that a lot of the signals we send and perceive have to do with what we’re wearing. I’m also subject to your impression of me based on how I show up.”

These words are some of the sweetest in the language, transforming a demand (Pass the salt!) into a request (Please, pass the salt), says Post. It’s another way we acknowledge that other people matter. Use these words everywhere—at work, at the bank, at the grocery store, and especially with family and friends.