Purpose in Patience.
Just yesterday we joined my family for a dim sum brunch at a nearby restaurant. This was a place recommended by a friend, and I was looking forward to the food.
Just as we were looking at the menu and placing orders, I heard a loud scream. The 2yo had thrown her bag on the floor, and was yelling at the top of her voice.
Sue and I tried to talk to her and reason with her to no avail, and I had to take her out of the restaurant to calm down.
Finding a spot outside the premises, we managed to settle her, after acknowledging her emotions and attempting to logically address the situation. But she decided to run back into the restaurant, again throwing her bag on the floor and screaming her lungs out. The service staff even attempted to placate her by giving her sweets, to no avail, and I had to take her out again.
This happened a few times. And we could not seem to find a reason for the tantrums.
After half an hour, and what seemed to be an eternity of tantrums, we finally managed to calm her down and get her back into the restaurant.
By then the tea was cold, and we had almost completely lost our appetite.
Children act up. In the most inconvenient of situations. As parents, we often have no answers why our kids do the things they do. But we need to keep calm, keep patient, and carry on.
Purposeful patience means that we are there with our children no matter the storm. While we may not approve of their behaviour, and we need to tell them so, we need to give them the time and space to manage their emotions; and while sometimes we may feel helpless in the face of the challenges they face, it's enough just to sit with them.
Join us at Purposeful Parent Academy to learn more strategies on how to be patient in your parenting, even as we journey together on this eventful and important journey.
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Parenting on Purpose
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This is a story of our parenting journey. It is our heart to bring up our children so that they will
Mark & Sue Lim are the parents of an energy-charged 12-year-old son and a sprightly 10-year-old boy. As parents, we hope that our children will grow up to be joyful and secure individuals who demonstrate a deep compassion for others. Mark enjoys his work moulding minds as an educator and counsellor in Singapore. He was formerly a journalist as well as a policymaker in the youth sector. Sue is a ho
15/04/2026
Happy.
"I'm so happy!"
The little girl has been making proclamations of her emotional state on a regular basis these couple of weeks.
And indeed it's been a peaceful time for us. Nothing out of the ordinary; simple daily routines that bring us simple pleasures.
I have been working extra hard these days, with more counselling hours and a couple of teaching hours, in addition to the regular work of writing proposals, developing curriculum and coming up with marketing materials.
Yet I truly appreciate simple moments like these - wandering in the playground as part of a post-dinner walk, with the 2yo climbing madly and thoroughly enjoying herself before heading home for bedtime.
These are simple, priceless, moments.
They embody the principle of presence.
And I am happy.
Regulating Our Emotional Triggers.
Just last week, I found that our toilet roll had been unravelled. The entire living room looked like it was a scene from "The Mummy" (not in reference to a human mother).
Yes, our 2yo had made another mess; I believe it was her one millionth, just that day alone.
Sue and the older boys were exhausted. We had been cleaning up her messes the entire day, and we were frustrated. I was just about to shout and scream and yell the house down.
But I didn't.
I sat down calmly next to her, held her hands, and said calmly, "W, I know you have been bored and were trying to do something fun by yourself. But unrolling the toilet paper in this way is NOT ACCEPTABLE."
"Sorry," whispered the little voice.
"I forgive you. But, if you're really sorry, you will help me roll this back together again again."
And so she did. For every half a fold she did, I assisted with 4 folds. And we put the toilet roll together once again.
Regulating our emotions can be hard. But if we want to help our children learn what is right and what is wrong, it does not help when we ourselves get into a tailspin.
Just us at Purposeful Parent Academy to learn more strategies on how to regulate your emotional triggers.
Connect with us at:
https://bit.ly/purposefulparentcoaching
Follow us at:
https://bit.ly/purposefulparentacademy
26/03/2026
Parent Guilt.
Glad to speak in another podcast by Focus on the Family Singapore. I've always enjoyed the conversations, which always deal with real issues in an uplifting manner.
Today's podcast was about how to manage parent guilt, exploring family of origin issues, and the spirit of self-criticism.
Always thankful that I am blessed with the gift of speaking life into the hearts of those around me 🙂
21/03/2026
Days of Wonder.
"Cows!" she exclaimed. "I want to go nearer!"
The little one was enthralled by the huge gentle creatures, studying them with a look of wonder in her eyes.
And she has been this way with the various animals she encountered - the horses, the kangaroos, the koalas...
The koalas were a little hard to spot, given how high they lived on the eucalyptus tress. But the kangaroos were a different thing.
"I see a kangaroo!" she proclaimed. And it was indeed the case. Our little 2yo had become rather proficient at spotting those gentle majestic creatures. She particularly enjoyed seeing them hopping around on their strong, hind legs.
These have been days of wonder for the toddler, and she has been soaking in all the various sights, with the numerous experiences that have been so special for her - it's not everyday that you see some 20 kangaroos grazing peacefully in the wild; nor is it everyday that you can sit on the ground, watching dozens of different birds in flight, chattering noisily as they return to their nests at dusk.
We need to build core memories for our kids; to spend large amounts of undivided time with them, exploring with them and helping them grow to appreciate the world around them.
For they will then live life with a sense of wonder. And life will be all the more richer for them.
https://bit.ly/purposefulparentacademy
Being an Understanding Parent.
The Chinese New Year festive season was a difficult time for us.
Especially with a 2-year-old in tow.
Visiting one new environment after another can be trying for many of us adults, and more so for young kids, who may become emotionally dysregulated and spiral into a series of temper tantrums.
Developmentally, it's an extra-challenging time as toddlers grow in personal control and independence during this stage, as articulated by psychologist Erik Erikson.
As such, one way to help is to better understand our kids. Only then, can we help them manage their emotions.
To become an understanding parent, we need to know why our children are feeling the way they do. Only then will we be able to come up with appropriate strategies to help them.
How can we better understand our children? At the Purposeful Parent Academy, we share strategies on how we can meet the needs of our children with deeper understanding and insight.
Journey with me as we learn together on how to become an intentional parent.
https://bit.ly/purposefulparentacademy
https://bit.ly/purposefulparentcoaching
23/02/2026
A Caring Society.
Last Friday, Sue and I were at Parliament House for a discussion session as part of a resource panel for NMP Neo Kok Beng.
I'm so heartened to have the privilege of shaping national agenda in an area close to our heart - fostering.
As the cost of living increases in Singapore, and as we continue to reconsider the definition of success, it is my hope that our country deepens its level of care for the persons who are vulnerable - those who are neglected or abused; children who do not have a safe space to call their home.
And may the driver of success in Singapore be a caring heart. That's something worth fighting for.
21/02/2026
Space.
Lunar New Year visiting can be stressful if you have young children, or if your kiddos have sensitivities regarding large crowds cramped in small spaces.
This year we took a hiatus from our usual festive visiting, keeping to smaller groups, and spacing out the visits, leaving today as a day of rest in between.
It's not easy to choose to do things differently, but with a 2yo, we decided to give her more space to just be herself, rather than to be forced to adapt to the numerous changes in the schedule.
As parents, we forget that we need to consider the needs of everyone in our family in our day to day decisions. While our lives should not revolve around our kids, we however need to make choices with our kids in mind. This means to intersperse our plans with activities that the kids may like, even as we line up the things that we adults want to do.
I have learnt that purposeful parenting involves making hard decisions. They may not always be popular, but they must be made in the best interest of the family, and they must be intentional.
https://www.instagram.com/purposefulparentsg
19/02/2026
About a Screen.
Location: Home.
Time: After dinner.
The boys had settled down on their devices to complete their homework. The toddler was pottering around engaged in her own play.
Out of the blue, the 13yo shot a bolt in the dark.
"Daddy, how is it that you and Mummy are able to control your time on the screen? How is it that you are not addicted to the phone?"
It was a completely unexpected question, given our minor skirmishes about screentime and the use of the phone.
But what began as a simple question, turned out to be a meaningful discussion on our childhood, on the simplicity of life then, and the effect that technology has had on all of us - with all of these changes happening within the span of mere decades.
And there was connection between the generations, Alpha and X.
For relationships thrive when connections deepen.
That's the stuff families are made of.
https://www.instagram.com/purposefulparentsg/
Photo Notes:
Daddy chilling with a bearded dragon, in the company of his dearest sons.
17/02/2026
Wisdom.
A house is built on wisdom and established through understanding.
Wishing you a meaningful time of connections with your children, as you seek to better understand them this festive season.
Happy Lunar New Year!
16/02/2026
Touchpoints.
10 missed calls.
My heart skipped a beat.
I frantically attempted to return the call to my wife's phone.
No response.
Why did I receive 10 missed calls within the span of a few minutes? What was going on?
I picked up the phone and called again.
"Hullo," said the shrill voice at the end of the line. "Daddy."
And then another voice could be heard in the background.
"Dear, she missed you and has been asking for you the whole time you were away."
I heaved a sigh of relief and continued the conversation with my wife and my 2yo girl .
This was a recent incident that happened after I was outstationed for three days and was on my return journey home.
That evening, I received a huge hug from little W, who dashed out of the front door to welcome me, jabbering nonstop in words that were at that moment not distinguishable to me. And over dinner, the teenagers talked to me nonstop about the latest happenings at their WhatsApp channel. I listened excitedly, as I really wanted to know what had happened in their lives since I had last left the house.
Touchpoints. Little points of connection with your children. These are extremely meaningful moments when you make an intentional decision to connect with your children even though you may be tired from work.
Parents ask me why they are no longer able to talk about anything significant with their teenagers, and I tell them that conversation is not reserved solely for the big occasions in the child's life, but in the ordinary everyday moments.
For when our kids know that we are there for them in the everyday moments, they will also know that we will be there for them during the harder and more difficult moments of their lives.
Photo Notes:
Spending some time with the toddler feeding the capybaras during our recent trip to the Desaru Mini Zoo.
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