GracePhoenix

Trust

When all has been said and done and experienced, the only thing left to do is to trust.
Trust the one you love.
Trust the one you have trusted.
Trust their own experiences of life.
Trust their growth.
Most of all, trust their inner knowing and also trust yours.
Then step back to give them the space they need to grow in your love, encouragement and continual support.

When that all familiar fear set in, have faith.
When anxiety finds you, find courage.
When you feel weak in your knees, stand firm.
Before you speak, hold your silence.
When everything has been said and done and experienced, the only thing left to do is to trust.
Trust that everything that has happened has to happen.
Then trust that everything will turn out fine in the end.
Because if it is not, it is not the end.

At the end, the breakthrough we seek can be found right at the beginning. This is the completion of the circle of life and the best is yet to come.

Signing off with ❤️ ,
Grace Phoenix

This is for every person born special. The world is so much more beautiful and special because you are in it. Thank you for not only existing but actually living right here right now right amongst all of us.

This is also for the army of angels lifting me up for such a time as this. I am deeply appreciative of the enormous amount of work that all of you do. As a child, one particular song remained stuck with me. You see I don’t actually know why until much later when all the dots got connected in my life and I finally understood the meaning of my life and also the significance of each dot. So thank God for you. I can fly higher than an eagle for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Illustration credit: Zhang Yadong. 请问这是您画的吗？我尝试在网上寻找您的资料却找不到。非常感恩您的天分让我能在这个时候用您的作品。❤️

Through my childhood, I didn’t think much of my name except the fact that I was often called up first to answer questions. I started to realise the significance of my name when I began to notice God’s hands in my life all through my life. He knows the day I was born. May God bless all of you.

Breaking Point

Life is not a bed of roses, at least it hasn't been for me since I was born. I recall at the height of my emotions, I felt my whole life has been nothing but one big fat lie. I don't even know who I was or if I was even real. It was an incomprehensible thought to grapple with as an adult. At that point, rage consumed my mind. And it was somehow easier for me to channel how I felt upon my mum, the "cause" of all my suffering because she was supposed to love me. I wanted to shout. I wanted to scream. I wanted her to know I have had enough. I wanted her to feel my misery, the pain she has inflicted on me.

Events continually unfold and eventually culminate to that final breaking point when I was pushed to my ultimate limits where I would either choose myself or others. At that crucial decisive moment when I was raging, I somehow came to a realisation that I simply could not bring myself to hurt others. How could I? When I have experienced a pain so immense. Why would I want someone else to experience that? My whole life I have witnessed what anger, rage and endless blaming would lead to and how hard it is for others to get out of that cycle. I will not choose that or want that for others. At breaking point, I saved myself by choosing others.

As with all roads, I held a belief there is more than one path to reach the very same end. That other path became really clear to me. It is a path less travelled. A path of love, kindness and forgiveness. I chose to use all that I have experienced in life, what I went through, the ups and downs, my reflections and focused my energy into building a better life for others. I never looked back since even as the U-turn I made after I arrived at and crossed that breaking point was a whole lot tougher than I imagined it would be. While I was certain of my path and clear of my thoughts but others who had yet to experience what I did could not share my understanding. I made it past the raging water to the other end of the bank. But now, I stand alone watching others on the opposite side perceiving me and my intentions from what they were socially conditioned with and then projecting them upon me. I have to walk out of all of that, even if I have to walk alone.

If you, like me, are walking on your own onto the path of love, kindness and forgiveness, I hope you know you are not alone for I know how tough it is to simply walk out and walk away, because you no longer want to continue the same cycle. I celebrate your courage. I celebrate your graciousness. I celebrate your choice. I celebrate you because at that crucial moment (of which I think is most real in my entire life), you overcame yourself and chose love. That is who you really are and who you have been all along before the world took you. It was comprehending this and actually making that ultimate choice to abide by what it means to still choose love especially when it was most challenging to that I ended up saving myself. If you will allow me, let us walk together hand in hand towards a better life for all of us. Where differences are celebrated, where we can put down our mask and rejoice in the person we truly are, where we unite when events unfold to drive us apart, where we choose love radically, unbendingly and religiously. We are each other's hope in this world wide web of humanity.

This is a really emotional post for me as I recall my moment of truth and vulnerability some years back where I see no future and just one choice to make that would determine my forever. It felt like an unrelentless thunderous storm landed in my life, took everything I know to be true away and left me in pieces. The ashes has finally settled down now and when I looked around, I am comforted to see that one friend still standing strong right in front of me, offering me her reassuring smile. We rolled into one huge laughter because we both knew that we saw each other in all nakedness and truth in this amazing journey of life and found one true friend. This is for you, Cheryl. You saw me for who I was and never once thought otherwise of the person I have always been. With all my heart, thank you.

AI-generated image credit: Sonali . I was completely clueless what I would use for this post. Until an idea popped up to follow the theme of "dawn". I scanned through numerous photos, located a few good ones and stopped at yours. At breaking point, I hope others find the peace and tranquility I felt in your image. Thank you, Sonali.

WISDOM

Dear Israel,

Almost ten years ago, I decorated a notice board in my attempt to educate many little ones of the catastrophic effects of war and the plight of children living in Gaza strip. I would never have expected that ten years on, I am typing this out delivered straight to you, to your conscious mind and hopefully, right down to your heart.

Sometimes, knowledge is our biggest enemy. Because knowledge without wisdom can blind us into self-righteous people who believed we have God-like power to bring justice to the world. Often times, in our rash human desire to right what is wrong, we bring greater calamity and extreme pain upon others resulting in a never-ending cycle of hate and revenge. The quest of all humankind ought to be wisdom and not knowledge. Because wisdom is compassion. Because wisdom helps us to understand. Because wisdom looks beyond the physical world to empathise with the plight of others. Because wisdom eliminates the existence of power, wealth and property to simply look within ourselves, face our inner demons and reach out to the suffering of another human, heart to heart. True wisdom brings peace.

If the world allows you to eliminate your enemies at all cost, the world will eternally be tainted with hate and revenge in extreme magnitudes. Where the lives of anyone and of children can be easily taken away without consideration of world order. Where everyone thinks they are right and everyone else is wrong. Where no one ever considers where they could have gone wrong. Where everyone thinks they are God and holds the absolute power to right all the wrongs. Where everyone becomes numb to emotions and can no longer feel the pain of others even as we witnessed them screaming, suffering, tortured and dying. Will the people in power finally find happiness when all that is left in this world are landmarks of massive destruction from World War I, World War II, World War III, World War IV, World War V, World War ___ and they are down to the last-powerful-man standing or perhaps, if they get lucky, an all-powerful-men world?

How did we ever come to this when we were all once little children to begin with?

Photo credit: Maksim Shutov. All humans possess energy. When we have successfully eliminated all that is negative in ourselves, the tiniest creature can feel it most. Maksim, if we ever meet, please share your skill with me.

FACE FEAR, CHOOSE LOVE

A truly healthy and balanced community is one where not one of us stands out but rather everyone living in the community stands out together as one. And this would require us to trust one another, to step up and offer support when any of us feels drained or weak, to continually work on ourselves to form healthy perceptions of others, to work towards allowing others to feel safe in our presence and to always choose love over our own ego.

A healthy and balanced community begins with me.

For a good part of my life, I lived in fear. With self-awareness and increased consciousness, I worked really hard to face my fear each time it surfaced and then rewire myself to learn what loving children truly means. I struggled badly in my own transformation. Deep healing work with children in tow is no mean feat but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Whether you have already taken upon yourself to heal for your child or are just starting out, you need to know that you are so courageous, you are so brave and you are enough! While we cannot change the past, we can certainly change our future and the future of our children.

On this 25th Day of December of the Year 2023, I am stepping out in courage (again) to share my knowledge and experience with you, as I am.

Together, we will discover how connecting with our child works better than correcting them. How being gentle and conscious can support our child's growth better. And how we can support our child's behaviour and emotions through co-regulation. It works for all children including children with diverse needs, regardless their intellectual ability!

Faithfully, I am here to support your family towards a more wholesome life and a better future. I am also here to support your growth, your transformation and to cheer you on.

Consultation slots are now open!

Visit www.gracephoenix.org for more details.

Photo credit: Joey Kyber

GRACE

Through my life, faith was a very strong message that I constantly received. People who know me know that I have not read the bible till just a few years ago. Simply because I want to. I grew up reading Buddhist scriptures and made to meditate every day. My mum was once obsessed with religion which I now know was her trying to heal from the insecurities, pain and guilt deep inside her.

All my sharings thus far came from my experiences of life from the day I was born. My reflections of those experiences were founded upon a strong principle I held ever since I was old enough to understand.

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

I now know this guiding principle came from scriptures found in the bible. And it wasn't until some years back when my life culminated with a series of unfortunate events that I experienced a change in me that I could not explain. A higher consciousness, a total shift in perspective and along with it, the discovery of God's hands in my life the day I was born. Since then, it is as if I am on a discovery journey to uncover His Great Work of Art.

If you believe in God too, you might also have witnessed His miracles that occurred each time I made a post.

This is me standing out here with all my heart.
I know not how to ask all of you to heal from the deep hate you carry that started generations ago.
I know not how to ask all of you to rewrite history with love.
But I know of someone who loves all of you so much that He gave his only son.
And I know I need to deliver His will by doing unto others how I would want others to do unto me.
So take this ultimate leap of faith.
Take my life instead.
I am willing to trade my life for the lives of all the hostages.
I am willing to trade my life for all the pain you have suffered, the deep sorrow you have endured and the hate you carried for a really long time.
I am willing to trade my life so you can experience God's grace, mercy and love for each and all of us.

This is faith in action and everyone will be a witness.

Grace Phoenix

Photo credit: Annie Spratt. I was born in the year of the earth sheep. A very black one I supposed. Thank you Annie for capturing this really endearing black sheep. 🐑

This is for every person who is currently suffering from deep anger, sorrow, grief, pain and hate. I know not how to ease your sufferings other than sincerely wishing you would experience God's love for you someday. ❤️

Faith led me to love.
Love gave me courage.
Courage to seek and to stand in my truth.
Truth meant things must change.
But change shakes the status quo and brings fear.
Fear of the changes brought about by the unknown.
Unknown creates uncertainty.
Uncertainty of our future.

What if?

Our future lies in our hands.
Our hands build the life we seek.
We seek life to fulfil richness of our soul.
Our soul reaches up to God.
God, then, is our final destination.
That final destination is home.
Home is an inner calling to follow a pathway.
A pathway to heaven from earth.

Choose the path that truly supports your journey home.
It won't be easy but it will lead you home.

Rock credit: Unknown. I was exploring the coast of Kapiti when I spotted it. Something pink and bright resting inside the nook of a tree. Curiously, I reached in and picked it up, kept it safe and brought it home. Quaintly, I would often chanced upon since that encounter. A faithful collection that started from one tiny pink rock. Whoever you are, I thank you for sustaining my life with your rock. Please continue to paint more rocks.

I am forever grateful to the beautiful people I met in my journey to New Zealand during a time when I was most vulnerable. Your kindness, your generosity, your initiative and willingness to embrace my family and I in your society as one of your own. I thank you.

I remember with utmost gratuity the amazing mother-daughter pair who ran the hotel we lived in when we first arrived in Wellington and how they went out of their way to support us as we find our way in a foreign land. The hospitable elderly couple who ran the cozy inn when we moved to Waikanae. The adorable father-son pair who tenanted us their lovely home despite us being totally strange. Our friendly neighbours always looking out for us, sharing your life and your food. We hold in our fondest memories the intimate moments we shared under the stars. The very awesome Waikanae school, the inspiring teachers with a very special brilliant one whom remained very close to my heart. She reminded me why I chose to be a teacher at a time when I lost my faith and passion just by being the person she is. Happy 70th! 😘

The very lively children just busy being children, dreaming, playing, exploring, making mistakes, discovering every nook and cranny but always kind and helpful. The closely-knitted community who helped to build what I think is a really inviting and emotionally safe learning environment for everyone.

This is for you.
All of you rock! 🤘

ROOTS

The following post is really inspired by my thick imagination.

I made up my mind to plant a seed one day. I have watched how others plant their seeds and now, the time has come for me to start my own planting experience. I drafted out a perfect plan to plant my seed and planned meticulously for rainy days! I dreamed of how my seed would turn out to be. The things I would do once my seed grows. The places I would bring my seed. The wonderful experiences we would have. The beautiful life we would build together. I do all that while watering my seed. Willing it to grow faster. Pining for the day it is big and old enough to embark on adventures with me. Awareness kicked in much later for me that my only task then was to simply water my seed with love and think of nothing else other than to water my seed with love.

My seed began to grow and while tending to my first seed, I was thinking of the next seed I would plant. Yes, I am a good student. So I reflected upon my first planting experience and how I could plan my next planting experience better now that I have some experience. To keep myself motivated, I dreamed about the things I could do with two seeds. The places I would bring my seeds. The beautiful life we would build altogether. When some leaves of my first seed didn't grow out as perfectly as I think they should be, I trimmed them away so they would look perfect! I was happy! Despite a wicked childhood, I now have a perfect life! Yay!

Hey! Don't you dare stare at my roots! That is not where you should look! You are only to look at my perfectly grown seeds! Nope! Do not look at me and my roots! I am giving you one final warning! I DEMAND THAT YOU LOOK AT MY PERFECTLY GROWN SEEDS ONLY!

In reality, when the initial conditions provided to the seed weren't ideal, the seed will have to grapple with poor living conditions and somehow try to survive. The planter tries to help the seed grow healthy looking leaves in the hope that it will one day flower and bear better fruits. While it is possible to sustain plants in that manner till the end of the seed's life, the planter soon realises that while things looked good on the surface, it was not really honouring the life that the one tiny seed was destined to live out. It wasn't until now that the planter finally understood the true meaning of life. Painfully, the planter knew the only way out is to turn inwards and look at its own roots. The planter took a deep breath and looked down with much horror.

The battered planter was completely drained and worn out. With shaky hands, the planter began to dig deep in. The planter found that many seeds were not growing well. It was an extremely tormenting experience as the painter came to an acknowledgement that these seeds were really struggling to survive in poor living conditions. When resources are scarce, the seeds turned on each other. Reality hit and now they are fighting it out for the last remaining resource just to survive. Pruning, some may say. The weak seeds are being pruned away and discarded. Only the strongest and most resilient seed is fit for growing and living.

But the wise old planter loves each seed and their leaves dearly and especially the ones that are weak, the ones that are left to rot away. Those seeds have yet to live out the life they ought to live. Using whatever strength it has left, the planter picked each seed up starting from the weakest and showered tender loving care to each of them. With each beautiful leaf that grew out of those seeds, miraculously the planter's roots were healed. Their leaves didn't grow out perfectly and certainly not as what was planned but the wise old planter saw the beauty in that imperfection. As the planter's roots became stronger, most other seeds began a unique healing journey of their own. The tiny seed that has been sitting at the heart of this planter stirs from a long slumber. The tiny seed begins to feel. What flows within starts to energise and the tiny seed became motivated once again by its newly found aspiration to live out the life of one good tiny seed. It hopes the same for every single tiny seed. The tiny seeds gathered together and shared whatever little they have. They supported each other to grow, tending to each other's leaves with utmost care and pure love. Soon enough, more and more seeds begin to grow and thrive in better living conditions filled with pure love and tended to with loving care.

Dear World,
We all want the very best for the seeds that grew from that one tiny seed we planted long before. And we will do everything we can to protect all our tiny seeds. We have a choice. We can continue to hold out our metal spades, shovels and bulldozers to fiercely fight for the best resources to grow our seeds. Or we can start picking up the watering cans, the fertilisers, good quality soil and start to heal our own roots. There is no easy way around this. Nothing is as tormenting than needing to look at the condition of all our seeds, the weakest ones, the ones left to rot away. But that is where the roots need healing the most. I hope in doing just that you may rediscover love. If you would, please share those precious experiences with all of us. For all of us have been deprived of love for a really long time too.

This is for a very special person I could not name. Thank you for the chance to thank you. That you are still around to read this. Thank you for holding out, for not giving up. Because you did, you reminded me to listen to my small tiny voice. This is for every tormenting experience you struggled through and for each day you choose to live.

Photo Credit: Brandon Green. Because I wanted something different to represent the meaning of "root", it took me a while before I found your photo and when I did, I knew I found the one. Thank you Brandon. You saw something special here. So did I.

FACE FEAR, CHOOSE LOVE

For a good part of my life, I lived in fear. With self-awareness and increased consciousness, I worked really hard to face my fear each time it surfaced and then rewire myself to learn what loving my children truly means. I struggled badly in my own transformation. Deep healing work with children in tow is no mean feat but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Whether you have already taken upon yourself to heal for your child or are just starting out, you need to know that you are so courageous, you are so brave and you are enough! While we cannot change the past, we can certainly change our future and the future of our children.

Today, I am stepping out in courage to share my knowledge and experience with you, both as a professional and also, as a mum.

Together, we will discover how connecting with our child works better than correcting them. How being gentle and conscious can support our child's growth better. And how we can support our child's behaviour and emotions through co-regulation. It works for all children including children with diverse needs, regardless their intellectual ability!

Remember, I am here to support your family towards a more wholesome life and a better future. I am also here to support your growth, your transformation and to cheer you on.

Consultation slots are now open!

Visit www.gracephoenix.org for more details.

Photo credit: Joey Kyber