DeRose Method Augusta

"SO YOU LOSE YOUR MIND"

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Have you ever heard that? "You are right, but then you lose your reason". A phrase often said to those who try to defend themselves or their rights with aggressiveness or rudeness.

Everything is solved politely. By talking with civility and courtesy, you may achieve negotiations that, otherwise, would have no solution. When you are emotional, do not answer anything. Even less in writing. There is a poorly welded circuit in our brain that leads us to be more polite when we talk "eye to eye" and to be cruder when we write. I'm like that too. So I avoid responding in writing at the time when the blood is boiling. When I need to write, I don't send it. I let my head cool down and the next day I re-read what I wrote. I always soften my writing. If I can, I wait longer. If it's possible, I wait weeks or even months before I send a hard response. As time passes and as I reread, I soften the text more.

There was a letter in which I was calling out a former supervisor and very good friend of mine. It took me six months to consider that there was no way to tone it down further. The result was excellent.(...)

Once, I was doing digital bodybuilding, changing the TV channels, as in general the male minority usually does. By chance, I fell into a program in which a former student of mine, very famous, was being interviewed by another former student, no less famous. I stopped to listen to them. The interviewer was being extremely rude to the interviewee. Something so absurd that I don't understand how the program director didn't warn her by the "dot" that sticks in her ear. But the interviewee did not lose his elegance and responded with every courtesy to every rudeness of the interviewer. He rose a lot in my opinion that day. Until, a long time later, at the end of the dialogue, the interviewer said in a sweet voice: "But, Paulo, you know I like you a lot, don't you? There! He had softened her up. Maybe he had captivated her with his good manners.

Translated from the book, MUDE O MUNDO, COMECE POR VOCÊ, 
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.
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THE SMILE
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The world is like a mirror: smile at it and you will only see smiles. If there is a universal language, it is the smile. You may not speak the language of a country, but when you smile at people, everyone understands you and reciprocate.

A smile serves as a greeting, as an apology and as a silent, friendly nod and as a silent, friendly nod when glances are crossed.

If you enter an environment and smile at those who are there, it is as if you were saying to them, "How are you? I'm glad to see you."

If, while driving your car, you make a mistake in traffic, your smile can mean: "Sorry, friend, I didn't mean it. The smile disarms.

In my classes, I say things that would make a marble statue blush, but because I speak with a smile, the audience laughs with me and is not offended.

Serious people end up absorbing a sour impression of the world because others will reflect their physiognomy and reciprocate with the same coldness or dislike.

Practise every day a facial muscle exercise: try to lift the muscles which are located well below the eyes. These are the muscles which usually represent an arch under the eyes when they wish to indicate sympathy or happiness. The smile is our great asset. It denotes civility, politeness, politeness, self-confidence... and it opens many doors! Above all, smiling rejuvenates you more than plastic surgery and is much cheaper. cheaper.

Translated from the book MÉTODO DE BOAS MANEIRAS,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.
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FREEDOM IS OUR MOST PRECIOUS ASSET !
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Our matriarchal tradition of DeROSE Method highly values individual freedom. But our Eastern philosophy strain induces us to value also discipline. How to balance these two apparently antagonistic forces?

The reconciliation between them is found in my book My Many Lives, in the recommendation: "Freedom is our most precious asset. In this case of having to confront it with discipline, if the latter violates the former, opt for freedom." ...The freedom to step aside and go your own way. 

The Gestalt postulate in this respect is brilliant when it teaches: "you do not exist to please me; I do not exist to please you. If in spite of that, we please each other, we can live together. If not, we will go on apart". Don't you think that's brilliant?

Translated from the book MÉTODO DE BOAS MANEIRAS,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.
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DO YOU WANT TO BE IN CONTROL?
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 I read a lot about dog education to raise my Weimaraner puppy. The best method to get the dog to do what you want is to captivate him, not to bet forces with him, yell at the poor thing, let alone punish or beat him. Somewhere I heard the phrase: "man is a dog with an opposable thumb". The trainer was referring to how easy it is to induce a man to do whatever his girlfriend wants, as long as she knows how to apply positive reinforcement leadership. And also because men, like dogs, can't think of more than one thing at a time!

 I learned that from my Weimaraner. Dogs, like humans, always signal the second before what they intend to do next. If your guardian delays sending a drift command, the dog will, for example, cross the street! But if the human notices an instant before and fires the command ("it stays" or "no" or any other), the educated dog, which still didn't begin the action, obeys.

On the other hand, if the dog has already begun to run to launch itself in front of the cars, it doesn't use to yell "no", "stay", "come", or "stop". If the action has already been triggered, it is almost impossible to stop.

If you don't want to apply repression, just give the command "come" and when he approaches you reward him with a treat. If there is no treat, provide him with affection and play with him.

Dog or human, when it comes to emotions, both react the same way! By managing to avoid the first outburst, it is straightforward to manage the potential conflict. What about a snack? It can be the derivation of his attention to something more interesting, more fun, or more rewarding. It can be a word of encouragement, praise, friendship, a pat on the back, a hug, a look, or a smile.

This applies not only to conjugal confrontations but to others, at work, in the traffic, with friends, and in all situations.
(...)

Translated from the book, MUDE O MUNDO, COMECE POR VOCÊ, 
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.
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AN INFALLIBLE METHOD FOR SUCCESS
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Whether in a profession, in marriage, in the family, in friendships, in life projects: In everything, social and emotional skills are the competences that break down barriers, win sympathy and provide the best results.

It is important that for you, it is a matter of honour to like people and to have the eagerness to serve them, help them, and enjoy them, with sincere love and care. Turn outside yourself. Focus on your colleagues, on your friends, and do all you can to make them feel important.

You need to make, by your actions, words, looks and smiles, the people around you feel important.

Repeat the mantra all the time during the day: My focus is to make people happy in my presence.

Translated from the book, DON’T FIGHT, BE BRIGHT,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.
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THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM: LABELS

“We commit ourselves when we say yes
When we say no, and when we are silent.”
Theodor Herzl

If you are over the age of fifteen, you will surely have had the opportunity to witness the following behavioral phenomenon: a person who has always displayed good qualities, who has always been very warm and caring, transform into something else altogether.

As this person becomes more important or intimate, is promoted, or gains new rights (even if these rights reside solely in the person’s imagination), their attitude changes and they begin to show their claws, previously hidden inside their soft feline paws. The saying that “power corrupts” is true even in love!

Although it may be easy to agree that power corrupts, I am not entirely sure you understand what I wanted to say. If you pay attention you will notice how a person changes when they gain status. When they have a relationship free of labels, or commitments, they are a sweetheart. They are understanding, they make no demands, they never complain.

However, when this person is given the status of main partner, some sourness creeps in. You start to notice, not without significant disappointment, that this person has issues. The more this person feels like they ‘own’ the relationship, the more they impose their will.
(...)

From the book, LOVE IS AN ART, TOGETHER OR APART,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.
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WHO AM I?
WHERE DID I COME FROM ?
WHERE AM I GOING ?

We accepted the facts of Nature. We did not think about eternal life or reincarnation. We were sad for a while, but as soon as possible we went back to our tasks and our way of life. And soon we were happy again. Besides, there were the other children to take care of. 

Moreover, the older siblings were taking care of the younger siblings. This way the tasks were shared and would not overburden the parents. 

At this point, we became aware that we were no longer young enough to have more children. We were well over 20 years old and we would certainly die before we raised them. So, we started dedicating our time almost exclusively to the service of the Master and the acquisition of Knowledge. 

Due to the death of our son, the interests that we manifested were strongly linked with the curative processes. Unconsciously, maybe we were trying to save the life of some other child who could eventually be bitten by a snake.

However, the Master patiently explained that there were more important things than medicine and that medicine itself was very flawed. That true wisdom was not about merely healing an illness or trying to save the body from its inexorable destiny.

“We will all die of something,” he told us “we can avoid that which is our responsibility, but there are other events that do not depend on our will, nor of our knowledge and effort.
(...)

From the book, I REMEMBER,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.

I REMEMBER ...

I’ve always preferred mythology to history, because history is made of truths, which in time becomes lies. And mythology is made of lies, which in time becomes truths.
Jean Cocteau

I remember... and then I unremember. Since I was a little boy I could recall my dreams, images from the unconscious, symbols from my mind. I don’t want to know what these memories are. I don’t want to know because every time I interrupted the free flow of recollections to question them with the causticity of logic, they were cut short and didn’t continue. And some were so sweet! How could I have interrupt such tender memories with the cold blade of the intellect? Was it just to flatter myself: ‘I’m rational!’ 

What is the advantage to being rational? Especially as the oneiric is so rich and beautiful? So, don’t ask me what are these memories. I don’t want to know. I want them to flow. And that they may, simply, forever continue to flow. I want to smile with them. I want to cry tears of emotion with them. I want to share these emotions with you. Come with me, travel through the past, or through the future, or through some subjective dimension, where we can forget the world as it is today, end the objectivity of the concrete and of the right angle.

Come.

Let’s go travel through my memories. And, who knows if, in reading these recollections, you may recollect too?

From the book, I REMEMBER,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.

Photo from DeRose Festival Portugal 2022.

THE KITCHEN OF OUR HOUSE

I remember the kitchen, the coziest place in the house. What I liked most was being close to the fire and the nice aroma of food. When I was younger, one day I wanted to touch the fire and my mother helped me in this adventure. She said: 

“The fire is very shy and it runs away when you try to hold it. But it is also as nervous as a crow. If you hold a crow by its foot, it will peck you. The fire will do this too. So, you cannot be long trying to hold the fire. You have to try to grab it and take the hand away quickly.”

And so I learned how to touch the fire without it burning me. 

We all woke up to greet a new day smiling, playing and talking a lot because we had been away from each other while asleep. We went to the kitchen straight away. There we would find my father starting a fire with a few tiny sticks before adding the logs. My mother would prepare the food and we would have our first meal. Then we would go out to do our daily chores. But whenever we were close by, and when it was possible, we would go back to the kitchen and nibble on something. There were no meal times. We did just as our animals did: we ate all day, whenever we felt like it. 

But, at night, when we returned from the meetings around the bonfire, it was custom to get together in the kitchen to have our last meal of the day. It was really an excuse to cuddle up next to each other or on top of one another, until we fell asleep.

From the book, I REMEMBER,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.

THE IMPULSE TO ABANDON EVERYTHING

In the late afternoon the elder ordered me to return to my duties in the village and to my family. I replied that I wanted to take care of him, I wanted to dedicate myself full time to the same path of dedication to self-knowledge as he had done. But he disagreed: 

“Each person has a way to achieve lucidity. I chose a withdrawn life because I assumed it was an easier path. This has some advantages, such as the tranquility of not being demanded all the time by a loving wife, by children or by profane work. However, this lifestyle also has severe disadvantages, as the creative energy becomes hindered and the evolutionary process slows down. It took me decades to reach my current level of consciousness. Today I know that had I dedicated myself to the ancient method, that includes family life, I would have obtained far greater results from my practices, it would have been quicker and more enduring.”

“One of the approaches to evolution,’ he continued, ‘includes conjugal experiences and refining sexuality. This is without a doubt, a more powerful system and since we fled south, it is falling into oblivion. In due time, I will initiate you on this path. For today, I want you to go back and take care of your cows and your family. Come back tomorrow.”

From the book, I REMEMBER,
Professor DeRose, Egrégora Books.