Fatima Ashraf

کہتے ہیں عورت کا کوئی گھر نہیں ہوتا۔۔۔ میں کہتی ہوں عورت کے بغیر کوئی گھر، گھر نہیں ہوتا۔۔۔

اللّٰه نے عورت کو ایسا ظرف دیا ہے کہ وہ جہاں جاتی ہے وہاں رنگ بھر دیتی ہے۔ مال اور جائیداد کی حرص کے بغیر مکان کو گھر بنا دیتی ہے۔ ایسے ظرف کے ساتھ اس کو اپنے نام کی چھت کی ضرورت نہیں ہوتی۔۔۔ بس ضرورت ہوتی ہے تو قدر کرنے والوں کی، جو اس کا محبت سے خیال رکھیں، اسے عزت دیں اور اس کو پوری حفاظت دیں۔

جس عورت کو یہ سب مل جائے اس کے دل میں اپنے نام کی
جائیداد کی کوئی خواہش نہیں رہتی۔

✍️فاطمہ اشرف

جب ہم سورۃ یوسف کا مطالعہ کرتے ہیں تو ڈھیروں اسباق نکلتے ہیں لیکن ایک چیز جس نے آج سورۃ پڑھتے ہوئے بہت متاثر کیا وہ یہ چند آیات تھیں۔

يٰصَاحِبَىِ السِّجۡنِ ءَاَرۡبَابٌ مُّتَفَرِّقُوۡنَ خَيۡرٌ اَمِ اللّٰهُ الۡوَاحِدُ الۡقَهَّارُؕ‏
اے میرے قیدخانے کے ساتھیو! کیا جدا جدا رب اچھے ہیں یا ایک اللّٰه جو سب پر غالب ہے۔ (39)

مَا تَعۡبُدُوۡنَ مِنۡ دُوۡنِہٖۤ اِلَّاۤ اَسۡمَآءً سَمَّیۡتُمُوۡہَاۤ اَنۡتُمۡ وَ اٰبَآؤُکُمۡ مَّاۤ اَنۡزَلَ اللّٰہُ بِہَا مِنۡ سُلۡطٰنٍ ؕ اِنِ الۡحُکۡمُ اِلَّا لِلّٰہِ ؕ اَمَرَ اَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۡۤا اِلَّاۤ اِیَّاہُ ؕ ذٰلِکَ الدِّیۡنُ الۡقَیِّمُ وَ لٰکِنَّ اَکۡثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا یَعۡلَمُوۡنَ ﴿۴۰﴾

اس کے سوا تم جن کی پوجا پاٹ کر رہے ہو وہ سب نام ہی نام ہیں جو تم نے اور تمہارے باپ دادوں نے خود ہی گھڑ لئے ہیں ۔ اللہ تعالٰی نے ان کی کوئی دلیل نازل نہیں فرمائی فرمانروائی صرف اللہ تعالٰی کی ہے ، اس کا فرمان ہے کہ تم سب سوائے اس کے کسی اور کی عبادت نہ کرو ، یہی دین درست ہے لیکن اکثر لوگ نہیں جانتے ۔ (40)

ان آیات پر غور کریں اور یوسف علیہ السلام کی حالت پر غور کریں۔ بھائیوں نے قتل کرنے کی کوشش کی، پھر غلام بنا لیا گیا، پھر الزام لگا اور پھر قیدخانے میں ڈال دیا گیا۔ اس سب کو سوچتے ہوئے آپ علیہ السلام کا عمل دیکھیں وہ کیا کر رہے ہیں؟ ایسے حالات میں بھی اپنا مقصد حیات نہیں بھولے جو کہ ایک اللّٰه کی طرف دعوت دینا تھا۔

میں یہاں کیا پوائنٹ رکھنا چاہتی ہوں؟ انھوں نے مشکلات تو بہت دیکھیں لیکن دعوت نہیں چھوڑی ، موقع پاتے ہی اپنا کام کیا۔۔۔ پیغام پہنچانا!

پھر ہم کیوں چھوٹی چھوٹی مشکلات پر سب سے پہلے دعوت دین کو ہی چھوڑتے ہیں؟ جب کہ وہی یہ چیز ہے جو ہمیں مشکلات سے گزرنے میں مدد کر سکتی ہے۔

Visited Al-khidmat foundation Lahore a few days ago.

This is one of the trusted foundations. Let's donate generously at this hour of distress.

💳 Donate today : alkhidmat.org/donate

Flood General Donation collections:

Meezan Bank
Account Title: Al Khidmat Foundation Pakistan
Account no. (PKR): 02430101034665
IBAN: PK11MEZN0002430101034665
SWIFT Code: MEZNPKKA

Flood Zakat collections

Bank of Punjab
Account Title: Alkhidmat foundation Pakistan Zakat
Account Number: 3880067845100081
IBAN number: PK16BPUN3880067845100081
Branch Code: 0817
Bank Swift Code: BPUNPKKA002
Branch name: Taqwa Islamic Banking, The Bank of Punjab, Allama Iqbal Town, Lahore
Branch address: Lahore

I always advise sisters who are getting married to have a mentor - someone who can guide and support them for at least the first few years of their marriage. Ideally, this mentor should be a married woman with at least 5 years of experience and someone outside of the immediate family or close relatives, ensuring neutral and unbiased advice.

Many women tend to rely heavily on their parents for advice, which can lead to biased guidance due to their emotional investment. This can result in parents becoming desensitized to more significant issues.

A better approach is to choose a trusted mentor, seek their counsel, and take ownership of decisions, allowing for personal growth and effective problem-solving.

-Fatima Ashraf

Many women often overlook the importance of dua (supplication) when facing challenges in their marriage, especially when their husbands are not treating them well.

Make dua ladies!!
It does wonders....

Somewhere along the way, she became exactly what society expected: , , and -sufficient. She learned not to rely on anyone, especially not a man.

But now she’s exhausted, emotionally, mentally, and physically. She’s doing everything, carrying everyone, and wondering why she still feels alone, even in relationships that were meant to be partnerships.

She has more freedom than ever before, but with that freedom comes a mountain of pressure. She’s expected to succeed at work, keep the home running smoothly, stay emotionally grounded, and still be open and loving.

It’s not balance; it’s .

She wants a “strong man” but unintentionally leaves little space for him to show up. She makes every decision, manage every detail, and then wonder why he’s stopped leading. That’s not strength, that’s control.

She says she wants love, not power struggles; but when every disagreement turns into a competition, connection fades, and resentment grows.

Yes, independence may feel powerful, but extreme independence often hides old wounds, teaching us that we’re only safe when we do everything ourselves. And many men feel pushed away just for wanting to help, protect, or be needed.

They say they want men to be strong, but then criticize them when they try. They ask for help, but only if it’s on their terms. They say they want love, but only if it looks exactly the way they expect.

That’s not love; that’s fear pretending to be strength.

You can’t spend years saying, “I don’t need a man” and then be surprised when men feel they don’t belong. They’re not emotionally distant, they’re just unsure of where they fit.

Real equality doesn’t mean both people do the same things. It means both people feel safe to be themselves.

Right now, many women are carrying everything, and many men are quietly stepping back, unsure of their role.

Let’s be honest: strength is beautiful, but not if it costs you softness. Independence is powerful, but not if it costs you connection. Love needs space, not just to give, but to receive too.

Until we let go of the rigid roles we’ve been taught, relationships will keep feeling like responsibilities; not safe, loving spaces.

Men were meant to be the protectors (physically and emotionally) and providers for their families. Women were meant to be the nurturers and sources of comfort.

Unfortunately, both roles are losing their significance, resulting in dysfunctional families and confused generations. While we call for rights, we must also acknowledge our responsibilities - as men and as women.

Let men reclaim their roles as secure providers and protectors. Let women reclaim their roles as loving caregivers and comforters.

-Fatima Ashraf

Women in wanting to become empowered are becoming more masculine. Yes they hate masculine men but they still want to become one.

Men are afraid of women. Why? Because of the power distribution and imbalance in society that feminism has created.

Now, I see women, even the "practicing one" just wants to control men. In a marriage, women want to control men, she wants to control how their marriage should be, how their household should work, how should my husband behave, what should the men do but forget the part of what she is supposed to do.

If we want the true masculine men, we must acknowledge and accept the femininity within ourselves.

- Fatima Ashraf