05/10/2020
Healing
There are certain things I don’t think we get to process through until our hearts feel safe enough to let us go there.
By “there” I mean, to that depth of pain we buried deep inside hoping we’d never have to feel that misery again because it’s just too painful to bare.
So if you don’t have anything crazy happening in your inner world you may think that you’re just “fine” it may be because you haven’t given yourself permission to feel, or maybe you feel but don’t create safety and love for yourself there.
“Feelings buried alive never die”... they just stay in the reservoir of your soul until there’s just enough safety for them to be felt, and if that never happens I think that pain starts manifesting as anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness, anger, fear... and then the pain pops it’s head out and screams for attention, reminding you it’s deep down in there... but all that feels like is moments of distrust, feeling out of control, jealousy in relationships, fear of abandonment, self sabotaging, self hatred, shame, judgement...
Any time we have big emotions our hearts trying to communicate with us.
And suppressing those emotions just perpetuate the cycle.
In my life I’ve learned, and am continually learning, the gift of feeling and working through the pain. I process through deeper layers as my hearts ready to, and I no longer try with all my might to avoid the pain, instead I lean in. Sometimes I have more courage then others to let myself reeeaaallly go there. Those are the days I find the most healing and freedom.
But what our hearts need in those moments aren’t to be fixed... but just to be loved. Our hearts need our tenderness, kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy, and love.
But the beauty is that every layer that has pain, has the ability to be loved which means you have the ability to be healed. And if all of those layers were healed and full of love, imagine how radically different your life would be. Imagine the fullness you’d live in, imagine the way you’d love. Imagine the relationships that’s come into your life because of that.
How beautiful is it that your deepest pain could be your greatest gift.